HIV is neither "dead" nor "alive". It is either active (when it is INSIDE the body), or INACTIVE (when it is outside of the body, exposed to the elements).
Sexually speaking, only unprotected anal or vaginal sex is a risk for HIV. Exposure to genital secretions in any situation NOT during the above mentioned insertive sex without a condom is NOT a risk for HIV. That includes oral sex, mutual mastrubation, frottage (rubbing), etc.
You have nothing to worry about.
HIV virus dies very quickly outside the body.