Scared about acquiring HIV from prostitute

[BatsiTown]

1. I am the dumbest person alive
2. I made one mistake that I am never going to do again for the rest of my life, and I am also going to regret it until the day I die…here is the story (as brief as I can make it)….

I am a heterosexual male in his mid 30s, married for 3 years with no kids. I am well educated, and have always been the “smart one” when it comes to refraining from nonsensical activities. I am a resident of New York, and was out on the west coast (San Francisco) for business when I went to a “massage parlor”. Generally, I know that these parlors usually involve a massage (which is what I actually wanted) and (possibly) a happy ending (which I wouldn’t have minded, but honestly didn’t care either way).

Long story short, I get there, and things start getting interesting. I start getting a massage, and the girl start rubbing my stuff from behind, and then starts licking my anus. Obviously, it was arousing. The next thing I knew, I was flipped over and she was sucking me. Now, if you are a guy, and everyone knows as well as I do, it is extremely hard to stop someone that is doing that…however, I managed to stop it after about 10 seconds. The next thing I know, she puts a condom on, and jumps on top of me without asking (yes, I am telling the truth…however, I am not completely innocent, I couldn’t have easily stopped her….again, very hard to do). After about (I would say…30 seconds or so, I finished, inside her, with the condom on). Condom came off, I paid, I left…

After leaving, my guilty conscience started (as well as the fear of having contracting something). I then immediately went to the ER and told the doctor what happened. At that point, I was given some strong antibiotics and tested for Herpes, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and something else what I could not recall. (Just for the record, that swab they give you for the testing...Wow...that hurt like hell!) The doctor advised, however, that he could not test for HIV due to the fact that I would need counseling, etc.

A few days later, I called in for my tests, and everything was negative (thank God!). About 2 weeks (10 days) after the “contact”, I then took one of those take home HIV test…negative. The week after that (last week) I took one that my doctor administered (I was scheduled for my yearly physical anyway)…negative. It’s been about 24 days since my encounter, and I have not been able to sleep, and when I do sleep, I keep having nightmares about infecting my wife, ruining my life, and basically killing myself in the event that I have contracted a deadly which I could spread to my family from one stupid encounter that would never happen again!

I have had no symptoms since except for a small canker sore in my mouth, which has subsequently healed (I think it may have been a result of “pinching” or something during a dental cleaning).

So, now I spend all my times reading up on this, and everything I have done appears to be low risk. However, I can’t help but feel that I need to be punished for what I did, and I should not be allowed to get away with this. I should discuss with my wife, but I can’t let this once incident that I am never going to do again ruin the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. It’s also going to kill me if I have to wait another 6 months to “be in the clear” … At this point, I will be taking tests every week or so… Should I continue? When should I stop getting tested?

Please give one stupid individual some advice before I wind up doing something stupid….

While I know this is a very serious disease, I was “protected”, and I really hate my childhood inner city school public education and the media for making me paranoid…

Thanks!

[Teak]

lanvin's reply to you was incorrect and without merit. At no time were you at risk of contracting HIV.

[Teak]

Quote from BatsiTown: " I finished, inside her, with the condom on." He had no risk and didn't need to test.

http://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/latex.htm
Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Including HIV Infection, Latex condoms, when used consistently and correctly, are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. In addition, consistent and correct use of latex condoms reduces the risk of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including diseases transmitted by genital secretions, and to a lesser degree, genital ulcer diseases. Condom use may reduce the risk for genital human papillomavirus (HPV) infection and HPV-associated diseases, e.g., genital warts and cervical cancer.

Laboratory studies have demonstrated that latex condoms provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of STD pathogens.

[tomMulligan]

Condom breaks catastrophically. You will know if your condom fails as your penis will be barely expose where the condom splits to half. If there's a pin hole and etc... automatically the condom will split to half during sexual intercourse.

[lanvin]

yes that maybe true but still it doesn't account for misuse even when they don't break, he asked if there was any risk........
condom use cannot provide absolute protection against HIV.

The surest way to avoid transmission of HIV is to abstain from sexual intercourse or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and you know is uninfected.

Even  when no slippage or breakage is  noticed a small percent of women still have detectable amounts of sperm inside them.

Condoms aren't even 100% effective when used perfectly and most people do NOT use them perfectly.
They are about 85% effective with typical use, there are many causes of condom failure and not only for catastrophic  breakage.

I have become pregnant twice with condoms as my exclusive use of birth control!!
I am not going to continue this debate of cindom usage, this is an opinion forum and it is in my opinion from personal experience and fact that it not correct to say a condom provides somone to be completley risk free.

To the person asking the question, I am sure you are FINE, however is not a bad idea to cover yourself when in dount and you have a partner that is in the dark about your other sexual activities.So that s my OPINION.  DONE

[Teak]

A condom correctly and consistently used is 100% effective in preventing HIV transmission.

[BatsiTown]

Now I am definitely confused. The anxiety over this is going to lead me to a mental breakdown and/or worse. I always understand that there is "some” risk regarding any inherently dangerous activity (ie, there is a one in 500,000 chance of dying in a motorcycle crash) and there is never 100% certainty with anything. What is done is done, and if one stupid mistake is going to ruin the rest of my life, then I'll have to handle it (although that would just be extremely horrific). Obviously, no matter how trusted the sources may be (and believe me, I do appreciate the help), I will not be happy untl I receive a test after 3 months, and (eventually after 6 months) telling me I am in the clear and I have nothing more to worry about.... that is just the person that I am.

However, what I really want clarification on is my CURRENT situation at hand, becuase I cannot reverse time and undo what has already been done. So, I guess what I want to know is 1) How accurate is a test after 4 weeks? 2) Is the fact that I have not shown any real symptoms to date a good sign? (ie. does this mean I have a, lets say 90% chance of everything being on the up and up; 3)  Considering the fact that I am obsessing about this, is there any way that I can know, with 100% certainty of my condition without having to wait another 5 months? 4) Have there been any cases of anyone contracting HIV in this way? (Although I know that the data may be skewed in some way because others may not have been in this "exact" situation; and 5) If you were to bet on it/roll the dice, (and getting to the source) what are the probable chances that the prostitute would have been positive int he first place?

Thanks again for the help, and a Happy Thanksgiving to all! You know what I will be thinking about...