Testing fear

[Livefreely23]

I am a 27 year old black male 5 7 180 in great shape athletic and active on a daily basis. However a few years back in 2011 maybe April or may, I made a dumb decision, and I allowed myself to have brief unprotected vaginal intercourse with a female who slept with a ton of guys roughly 25 30 men maybe more. The encounter lasted about 15 20 seconds as I withdrew from her vagina because she was bleeding. I had some blood on my penis head and i went and washed it off gently immediately after the incident i didn't scrub at all and i urinated as well but not immediately. I had no stds prior to this incident, no cuts on my penis and I am circumsized. I sternly demanded she tell me if she had a disease because I had a right to know after what happened. She insisted that even tho she slept with many guys she has always stayed on top of her health. She also said she caught minor std's that's curable and that was it.. HOWEVER after few weeks maybe 3  weeks later. I got sick flu like, no swollen glands no diarrhea but very sick and it felt stronger than a regular cold.  My throat was sore and I was tired. After that passed maybe 4 or 5 days later. I had profuse night sweats 2 nights in a row.  And then some months down the line I had a weird foot infection inside of my foot by my arch that was unexplained and nasty. Experiencing all these symptoms I never went to the doc until I starting catching colds back to back and that's not like me. Coughing in the middle of night being woke out of my sleep by the cough I spent countless hours on the internet driving myself crazy losing weight not eating stressing it was a mess. The foot infection came back again and I came down with a mysterious arm rash that looked like boils that I can't explain I googled blister on arch of foot, unexplain skin rash and hiv infection always popped up. Then I started to get really scared so I went to my doctor and explained my fears so he took my blood and asked me if I consent to be tested for hiv as well. I told him every test but hiv cuz I want to test for that alone, so after my cbc returned my doctor called me and told me that everything in my blood is normal and I had no STD's. He proceeded with it's time to get the other test over with now and I kept putting it off. Here I am in 2013 almost 2014 convinced I am hiv positive. I'm just terrified to be tested now after all this cuz I think I know what the results gonna be. How can I be so unlucky in 15 20 seconds of gentle sex!

[Teak]

That's the only thing you can do. Good luck and use condoms.

[Livefreely23]

Thank you sir I'm just gonna prepare for the worse it was my mistake and I have to live with whatever hand I'm dealt

[Teak]

You test and you'll put it behind you. There is nothing more that this forum or any forum can offer. It's up to you.

[Livefreely23]

In fear and constant worrying and self diagnosing it's just a stressful ordeal that I'm sick of

[Livefreely23]

I understand, I will get pass this hurdle and get tested I owe it to myself to not live like this anymore. In fear and c

[Teak]

Odds are play at the race track not with HIV. A risk is a risk, you can get infected by a low risk as well as a high risk.

[Livefreely23]

I will get tested, what are my odds and chances from this encounter I know the test results is the only thing that matters I'm just curious where i stand far as exposure goes was it a high risk or was it low risk

[Teak]

You think that has a strangle hold on you get HIV and you'll see what a real strangle hold is. Got get tested.

[Livefreely23]

I am aware it's not a guessing game I've never opened up about this to anybody but my doctor so it felt good to vent about my foolishness I wish I knew about medhelp a lot sooner. I've always tested for hiv in the past with no problem cuz I knew what my results would be, but now I'm not so sure and I think that is what is stopping me. I want to overcome this fear but it has a stranglehold on me

[Teak]

HIV isn't a guessing game. If you are in the US go to Walmart, CVS or Walgreens and get a Oraquick Home HIV test. If not in the US go to a clinic and get tested and your results will be conclusive.