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What are the odds of possible infection?
A month ago I was talking to a friend and realized I had never had an HIV test done. I had had unprotected sex once or twice about 10 years ago (teenager) with 2 ex boyfriends. I also had other ocd related fears to HIV so despite being terrified of testing, I decided to get tested. I educated myself on the topic and went to a clinic to do a rapid oraquick advance test. The test was negative and I was relieved. Temporarily.
I realized that the test required not to eat or drink anything before taking it. The lady at the clinic had not informed me of this, so this upset me. I realized I may have had some water before testing. I went and got another test. This time the pad brushed against something on my mouth and I wasn't sure what that was, whether it was a food particle or something. AGAIN, the test claims that "if anything foreign touches the pad such as food, the results may not be accurate". I called their hotline and yes, they said "well if some food had gotten there from your tooth, you have to retake the test". At this point, I felt very frustrated with this test and couldn't believe that a test that could be so easily prone to mistakes was being used. However, due to my fear of needles, I felt as though this was my only option.
I decided to take an at-home oraquick test and follow all the directions this time. So, once again, I had to go through the very anxiety provoking process of testing. The results were negative and I was so thankful and relieved. The test was supposed to provide me with answers. Yet, somehow after the initial relief, I developed more questions and now I am going through so much pain and I am desperate for answers. I have severe ocd but I am unsure as to whether this is ocd or some real possible risk.
Without blabbering anymore, these are my new fears:
1. Clinic test- Could the lady there have purposely infected the pad with blood? I try to remember looking at the pad and only remember for sure looking at one part of it. What if I did NOT look at the other side and there was blood there without me realizing it? I know that most people would not do something like this, but there are also psychopaths out there and I can't shake this awful thought. Let's say hypothetically that this woman did something like this within a few minutes of me using the pad to swab my gums, what would be the chances of infection? I am having INTENSE panic attacks over this, worse than I did when I feared unprotective sex, because I know possibility of infection is much higher with blood.
2. Another fear- What if someone tampered with the at-home test and returned it with infected blood on the pad and the buffer solution? I had contact with both. Would the pad and the buffer solution be able to infect? Would the buffer solution allow the virus to stay active and infectious? The solution consists of the following chemicals: "sodium phosphate dibasic, sodium phosphate monobasic, ProClin 950, Polyvinylpryrrolidone, Triton X-100, Sodium Chloride and Sodium Hydroxide". Also, if it couldn't live in these chemicals, would someone have tampered with the chemicals by adding ingredients that it could live in? (I know that one needs chemistry and virology background for this but hopefully someone can still provide me with some info).
3. My other fear is the Oraquick test itself. Is it accurate? It seems to have some many "if you do this, it won't be accuarte"... statements. One is the temperature in which it is stored. I can make sure *I* am keeping it in the right temperature but how do I know that when the store closes at night, that it is kept in the right temperature? Also, when I call to speak to someone on their hotline, I can't seem to get any doctors to give me clear, precise answers. Also, is it safe? Are the ingredients risky? What is the test made up of anyway? Since they test for HIV infection, are these ingredients that allow the virus to live in them? I know there's HIV antigents at the top and it tests for antibodies, but do they pose any risk? How about the buffer solution? It allows for HIV antibodies and HIV antigens to bind, so what does that mean? Is this buffer solution dangerous if infected blood were to get in it?
As I said, I have severe OCD, and I thought I was being responsible by getting tested and am quite surprised by how my anxiety has turned this against me. I know the window period for testing is 3 months but the anxiety attacks caused by these thoughts are so intense. I never experienced such fear when having unprotected sex ironically, but for whatever reason these thoughts are causing me so much fear. Help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I realized that the test required not to eat or drink anything before taking it. The lady at the clinic had not informed me of this, so this upset me. I realized I may have had some water before testing. I went and got another test. This time the pad brushed against something on my mouth and I wasn't sure what that was, whether it was a food particle or something. AGAIN, the test claims that "if anything foreign touches the pad such as food, the results may not be accurate". I called their hotline and yes, they said "well if some food had gotten there from your tooth, you have to retake the test". At this point, I felt very frustrated with this test and couldn't believe that a test that could be so easily prone to mistakes was being used. However, due to my fear of needles, I felt as though this was my only option.
I decided to take an at-home oraquick test and follow all the directions this time. So, once again, I had to go through the very anxiety provoking process of testing. The results were negative and I was so thankful and relieved. The test was supposed to provide me with answers. Yet, somehow after the initial relief, I developed more questions and now I am going through so much pain and I am desperate for answers. I have severe ocd but I am unsure as to whether this is ocd or some real possible risk.
Without blabbering anymore, these are my new fears:
1. Clinic test- Could the lady there have purposely infected the pad with blood? I try to remember looking at the pad and only remember for sure looking at one part of it. What if I did NOT look at the other side and there was blood there without me realizing it? I know that most people would not do something like this, but there are also psychopaths out there and I can't shake this awful thought. Let's say hypothetically that this woman did something like this within a few minutes of me using the pad to swab my gums, what would be the chances of infection? I am having INTENSE panic attacks over this, worse than I did when I feared unprotective sex, because I know possibility of infection is much higher with blood.
2. Another fear- What if someone tampered with the at-home test and returned it with infected blood on the pad and the buffer solution? I had contact with both. Would the pad and the buffer solution be able to infect? Would the buffer solution allow the virus to stay active and infectious? The solution consists of the following chemicals: "sodium phosphate dibasic, sodium phosphate monobasic, ProClin 950, Polyvinylpryrrolidone, Triton X-100, Sodium Chloride and Sodium Hydroxide". Also, if it couldn't live in these chemicals, would someone have tampered with the chemicals by adding ingredients that it could live in? (I know that one needs chemistry and virology background for this but hopefully someone can still provide me with some info).
3. My other fear is the Oraquick test itself. Is it accurate? It seems to have some many "if you do this, it won't be accuarte"... statements. One is the temperature in which it is stored. I can make sure *I* am keeping it in the right temperature but how do I know that when the store closes at night, that it is kept in the right temperature? Also, when I call to speak to someone on their hotline, I can't seem to get any doctors to give me clear, precise answers. Also, is it safe? Are the ingredients risky? What is the test made up of anyway? Since they test for HIV infection, are these ingredients that allow the virus to live in them? I know there's HIV antigents at the top and it tests for antibodies, but do they pose any risk? How about the buffer solution? It allows for HIV antibodies and HIV antigens to bind, so what does that mean? Is this buffer solution dangerous if infected blood were to get in it?
As I said, I have severe OCD, and I thought I was being responsible by getting tested and am quite surprised by how my anxiety has turned this against me. I know the window period for testing is 3 months but the anxiety attacks caused by these thoughts are so intense. I never experienced such fear when having unprotected sex ironically, but for whatever reason these thoughts are causing me so much fear. Help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I mentioned that I have severe OCD. However, I can't shake the fear that the test might have been contaminated. Scientifically speaking, if it were contaminated, I could be at risk because I swabbed my gums with the pad. At the time I wasn't thinking these thoughts so it didn't occur to me to "check the pad to make sure no blood was present". I looked at the pad as I opened it, didn't see blood on that side, then I swabbed my gums, looked at the pad as I was putting it in the solution and didn't see blood there either. However, I can't help but feel terrified that the blood may have been on the other side, since I only remember looking at one side for certain- for all 3 tests! I don't know if these tests could have been contaminated. Also, I don't know if the solution that comes with the test could have been contaminated and if any of it got on my hands and if I accidentally touched my eyes or mouth etc, or if I had any cuts or sores that I was unaware of. I can't do a blood test because I'm afraid of needles.
I am not concerned about the unprotected sex currently. I got tested and now I am concerned that I may have gotten infected through the test. I don't remember precisely looking at the swab on both sides. I remember looking at one side and it was clear. I am wondering if there could have been possible blood on the other side that could have contaminated me.
You have a very severe phobia which is outside the scope of what this forum can help you with. All of your what if questions are textbook anxiety and require a mental health specialist to help you resolve this. You need to seek out offline help for your anxiety.
You had unprotected sex 10 yrs ago, why are you concerned about a 3 month window period? Any rapid test at this time will be conclusive.
If the oral swipe test leaves you with the what ifs, have a rapid blood test done.
If the oral swipe test leaves you with the what ifs, have a rapid blood test done.
Angelo,
Thank you for responding to my very long post. I understand my questions are "What if" questions but they are causing my more anxiety than my unprotected sex exposures. I had only had unprotected sex with my 2 ex boyfriends 10 years ago.
As far as "why would anyone put blood on the test?" A normal person wouldn't but someone with cruel, evil intentions would. There are psychopaths in the world that want to harm others. Also, after doing a lot of research, I have received conflicting information regarding how long the virus can live outside the body. If the blood was placed on the pad right before I used it, it could still be infectious.
This is causing me extreme anxiety and I don't know how I will make it to the 3 month window period testing.
Thank you for responding to my very long post. I understand my questions are "What if" questions but they are causing my more anxiety than my unprotected sex exposures. I had only had unprotected sex with my 2 ex boyfriends 10 years ago.
As far as "why would anyone put blood on the test?" A normal person wouldn't but someone with cruel, evil intentions would. There are psychopaths in the world that want to harm others. Also, after doing a lot of research, I have received conflicting information regarding how long the virus can live outside the body. If the blood was placed on the pad right before I used it, it could still be infectious.
This is causing me extreme anxiety and I don't know how I will make it to the 3 month window period testing.
How can you trust your results? Well for a few reasons. For one, you have had a test done three times. All of your fears are irrational fears. With that said, I understand the "what if" thinking and how it can cause sever anxiety and depression so allow me to help ease your worry.
1. Clinic test- Could the lady there have purposely infected the pad with blood?
Could she have? yes. Why in the world would she though. And also, you would have noticed blood on the pad. Also, even if blood was on the pad and wiped on your gums, unless your gums had an open cut no infection would get through. But also...HIV is fragile and does not live well outside the body. Meaning once it is placed on an object such as a pad it would be hard for it to survive. I hope I have answered all of your concerns for this.
2. Another fear- What if someone tampered with the at-home test and returned it with infected blood on the pad and the buffer solution? I had contact with both. Would the pad and the buffer solution be able to infect?
This fear is similar to your first fear. Which is that someone tampered with the test and put blood on it. Again, the virus would not survive long out of the body. Also, you used the test on yourself and you did not see any blood so this fear is irrational.
3. My other fear is the Oraquick test itself. Is it accurate? It seems to have some many "if you do this, it won't be accuarte"... statements. One is the temperature in which it is stored.
The test is supposed to be over 99% accurate for detecting a negative result. You have had the test done multiple times and have had negative results which increased the likelihood that your results were accurate. so I would say you're now looking at 100% accuracy.
All of your fears are irrational "what if" fears. You said so yourself. You do not have HIV. For one your last exposure was 10 years ago and since that time you have lived a normal life with no worry of HIV. Don't allow your anxiety and OCD to consume you. You have no reason to worry. I understand how irrational "what if" thinking can cause you anguish as I am currently doing that myself. However, in my case I did have a recent low risk exposure that is causing my worry. In your case you have absolutely, positively nothing to worry about and I really hope you can let it go and find peace. Goodluck and God bless.
1. Clinic test- Could the lady there have purposely infected the pad with blood?
Could she have? yes. Why in the world would she though. And also, you would have noticed blood on the pad. Also, even if blood was on the pad and wiped on your gums, unless your gums had an open cut no infection would get through. But also...HIV is fragile and does not live well outside the body. Meaning once it is placed on an object such as a pad it would be hard for it to survive. I hope I have answered all of your concerns for this.
2. Another fear- What if someone tampered with the at-home test and returned it with infected blood on the pad and the buffer solution? I had contact with both. Would the pad and the buffer solution be able to infect?
This fear is similar to your first fear. Which is that someone tampered with the test and put blood on it. Again, the virus would not survive long out of the body. Also, you used the test on yourself and you did not see any blood so this fear is irrational.
3. My other fear is the Oraquick test itself. Is it accurate? It seems to have some many "if you do this, it won't be accuarte"... statements. One is the temperature in which it is stored.
The test is supposed to be over 99% accurate for detecting a negative result. You have had the test done multiple times and have had negative results which increased the likelihood that your results were accurate. so I would say you're now looking at 100% accuracy.
All of your fears are irrational "what if" fears. You said so yourself. You do not have HIV. For one your last exposure was 10 years ago and since that time you have lived a normal life with no worry of HIV. Don't allow your anxiety and OCD to consume you. You have no reason to worry. I understand how irrational "what if" thinking can cause you anguish as I am currently doing that myself. However, in my case I did have a recent low risk exposure that is causing my worry. In your case you have absolutely, positively nothing to worry about and I really hope you can let it go and find peace. Goodluck and God bless.
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