Just being paranoid?

[adlers]

Hi,
I think i know the answer to my question already but here's my story.
I am gay, 4 months ago i engaged in oral sex with a guy I didnt know.
I was quite drunk and couldnt remember if we had anal sex or if he was wearing a condom if we did.
I went to a hiv testing site they explained my low risk etc etc but my mind went on overdrive.
After a lot of counseling i still couldnt believe a negative result i got at 4 weeks.
At 11 weeks i got another negative result and all was good again.
A month ago i had sex with a guy i know for a long time again I was drunk.
I cannot remember if he was wearing a condom.
He has assured me that he was wearing a condom and that he recently (august) tested negative for HIV.
Am I just super paranoid? Should I just relax and believe him?
I am getting a test at the 6 week mark, presuming it will be negative should I just get on with my life?
Ive had a distant kind of headache, nothing uncomfortable more of a presure headache.
Is this a symptom? Ive nothing else that is listed as a symptom, at 4 weeks would they have presented themselves?

Thanks SO SO much for your responses in advance

[andagainintothefire]

Well, Teak and Lizzie seem to be the non-MD-experts on the what, why, whatever on when you're in the clear, and I dunno about country guidelines. But from what I've read from them, the rule on this site is 12 weeks/3 mons for conclusive "I can go have sex again" results (yeah, even if you were infected you'd protect your partner by him using a condom, but hey, it could fail even if all precautions like ample lube are used). 6 weeks is something like 99% accurrate, as in, there's practically never been a 6 week negative that went positive at 12 weeks.

Bit still, get the 12 week conclusive and use this time to get your act together

[adlers]

Hey, thanks for your honesty;
You make a great point and I have made a pledge to myself not to be drunk having sex ever again and to only have sex when im in a relationship, these one night stands arent doing me any good!!! As you humorously put it I was the catcher and so i know I am at a higher risk. The paranoia is what has me in the worst place of all ...

The 6 week test (stated amongst this site and the UK and Ireland testing guidelines, as im Irish) is when detectable antibodies would appear and so a negative result is pretty reliable. right?

[andagainintothefire]

Wow. Wildcard is you say you don't remember if either was wearing a condom. STOP GETTING SO GODDAM DRUNK THAT YOU CANT REMEMBER THE SEX! I mean, what's the point of having it in the first place.

Anyway, you're pretty much fine regarding the first encounter described- 12 week is the conclusive benchmark, you're 11 week is over 99% acurrate. For the second encounter, you're fine if he was telling the truth about the condom. If he wasn't, you're still a low risk. If you were the "pitcher", your risk is lower than if you were the "catcher", but there would still be a risk.

So- go on with your life since this is low risk, but you'll need a 12 week/3mon test to be conclusively negative, and in the meantime and from now on don't have anal or vaginal sex without protection until your confident you're in a monogamous relationship. Oh, and stop having sex if you're so drunk you can't even determine whether you had a risky encounter the next morning!