update on amber

[ddavey]

Hi everyone...  tonight is amber's last night living at home.  Tomorrow we are moving her into her own place.  A few months ago I stumbled upon a reposessed condo about 20 minutes away from me....got it dirt cheap (34,300)   I can't rent her apartment for what this will cost a month....we have put about 8,000 into repairs.   This will put her in a neighboring county where services and transportation for adults with developmental disabilities are the best in the state and it is only 20 min away from me   We have spent the last four years since she graduated high school working very hard to help her achieve her goal of living independently.  When she was diagnosed 3 yrs with cardiomyopathy it put a terrifying spin on what we had been working on.  But even during that we kept working with her to help her achieve her goals. Her heart is better, but not where it should be.  That fact puts a bit more fear in the mix for me, but as we always say   "it is what it is"    and we work with it and don't let it become the center of her (or my) life.    As I think (every day) of things I need to do to help her live indepently...  lists, reminders, don't forget to brush your hair.....i had a thought....   yes she is doing better now than she has since diagnosis but she still has a serious heart condition.  This heart condition could shorten her life.  The knowledge of that fact is devastating.  But if I have the chance to help my daughter achieve her goal of living her own life and being happy how can I not do that...
For those who are dealing with heart concerns please keep this in mind... don't let it consume you ...  be informed, do what you must to get a handle on your condition, but don't let it be the force of your life              thanks   dawn

[ddavey]

dinner last nite went great...  she cooked a little marinated pork loin and cut up vegatables and made rice (i watched but she did)   worked out great as she was able to cut up the meat and put it into ziploc bags in the freezer to have for other nights    i talk to her several times a day...  i have been over there every day since she moved in but today i won't go over there today to give her a day without me there ....   thanks to everyone and we keep everyone updated.........  dawn

[Me967]

So very glad to hear that Amber is doing better.  I understand that this must be a very happy yet upsetting time for you.  I'm sure you are tickled pink over her dream being answered; (God bless you for that)  yet worried too.

I agree with Irene that a girls cooking day on a new dish together would be great to try out her very own stove.  And a daily phone call just to say hi would be great for both of you either just to say good morning or sweet dreams.

Congratulations on answering Amber's dream.  I'm sure it took alot on your part physically and mentally.  I think that is so fantastic what all you have done.  You are truly a special person filled with a lot of love and a great mom.

Take care;  Amy

[scouser costa rica]

Ireneo is right in that leaving home for the first time is difficult for most people,but cutting the umbelical cord helps to develop the person so that they can live their own life. Continued contact is reinforcing,my wife and daughter talk almost every day by phone even after her being married more than 20 years,and it makes both of them feel good.
I am glad to hear that Amber is much better
                                              Good luck
                                                        Ian

[ireneo]

Moving away from home at any age is a huge step. My daughter has been away from home for years now and is even married but she still wants to go shopping with me and asks about how to cook this or that. It feels kind of nice to know I can still help in some ways.

Enjoy your cooking nights with her. Perhaps you could make it a date night once a week, get together, try a new recipe and enjoy the meal together. Her confidence would grow and you two would have fun.

Do you give her a quick call each day (I'm worried about her heart too)? We did that with our elderly neighbor for years. We worried about her falling or getting sick. I think she enjoyed the attention a bit and we all felt better about her safety. It was a nice way to start the day with a good morning hello.

[ddavey]

amber has been at her new home two nights and everything seems to be going well...
she isn't eating as she should but i think she may be a nervous about the new stove so tonight we will have "cooking school" to give her a jump on cooking her in her own kitchen  (dinner for her last 2 nites was micowave chicken nuggets)   she is doing a great job of it, and we are all very proud of her...       thanks all   dawn