"I just don't want to go to the cardiologist and have them say that there is no medication and no treatment that they can do, just try to reduce my stress, blah blah what I already know. I'm only able to go if there is something real that can and should be done. "
It sounds as though you already suspect that your heart is OK, that stress is the cause of your problems, and in fact that is what you will be told if you go to a doctor.
However, the ONLY way to determine if anything is wrong (or right) is to get an exam with at least an EKG (which is really fast, btw). We can help interpret numbers or values that a cardiac workup would give you, but we cannot say anything medically helpful without that information.
Being short of breath does not necessarily mean you have a damaged heart. There could be any number of reasons for you to be short of breath too numerous to mention here. Also, as Achillea said, most murmurs are benign and I assume since you know you have one you have had yours looked at? If not that would be the most important thing to get evaluated. Once you know your murmur is of a benign nature then there is no need to worry further. You say you have a rapid heart rate, how rapid? A rate of 185 during exercise in an unconditioned heart is not unusual. I would advise to slow down what you are doing once it got that high and pace yourself a bit better so you don't over do it but if there is cause for the heart rate to be elevated like during a cardio workout then the rate isn't too concerning and should go down over time as you exercise more and get your heart in better condition. That said, if your heart is jumping rates from 30 to 185 for no reason then that should probably be evaluated by a cardiologist. In a perfect world you should probably get your heart properly evalutated with a stress and echo tests but in the minimum you should go see a cardiologist to at least get an ekg done and discuss possibly trying some beta blockers to help even out your heart rate. I don't know that you specifically have any heart damage but something is going on that needs to be addressed and the best place to do that is with a cardiologist. Discuss with them your financial situation and maybe they can work a deal with you. Take care and keep us posted on how you are doing.
I haven't had a cardiac workup done, and I don't have the time or money (I'm a single mom now with two kids who have their own psychologist appts every week that I have to take work off for) ... so unless it is a serious thing that I need to do, I can't fit it in.
As for the shortness of breath, I am not panicking 100% of the time. I panic rarely. I'm short of breath 100% of the time. So it's some kind of physical damage.
I just don't want to go to the cardiologist and have them say that there is no medication and no treatment that they can do, just try to reduce my stress, blah blah what I already know. I'm only able to go if there is something real that can and should be done.
I already live the healthiest life possible, with what I have. Only reason to go would be if they need to take some kind of action.
A heart murmur is very common, and often completely benign. Same with irregular or fast heart rates. Shortness of breath is usual with panic disorder. In fact, the cardiac symptoms you describe fit very well with the psychological problems you suffer.
So, have you had a cardiac workup? Do you know what KIND of murmur you have (it matters). Does your doctor say you actually have heart damage, and if so, of what type?