could you get here?

[greendave]

Several of you have asked me via notes to add an occasional update of where I've got to in the mountains as I have had extremely bad SVT for 21 years and frequent PVC's which have ruined my life until I started to fight back just over four years ago. Starting with yoga, meditation and crystals I then started walking in great fear but now I am out every weekend in all weathers where few 'normal' people venture and where I work, which has over a thousand people, i am considered by all to be the fittest person there and have now started a mountaineering club where I take groups of 15 people up into the mountains , many for the first time! What a laugh when you consider my history.
Recently I got through the clouds and got a good photo looging down with a peak below me poking through the clouds. I have put this on my profile  - so have a look and ask yourself could this be you?
My start point was a full of fear couch potato who even drove to the local shop and my end point is any mountain I want, rain, gales, fog , snow -  I;m often the only one up there.
My point is -  it's fear that is holding us back - the doctors tell us we're OK - so believe them and see where you could end up.
It would be great to see posts from you showing us all where you have got to. Every little step helps ease the fear and it's great to get confidenec back.
hope to hear where you've got to - no matter how small the start.
dave

[Skippi]

oh, I will try to loose that fear. It's difficult.... I know it's not dangerous, but it's so darn unconfortable and yes, scary, when it happens. When it does happen, all I want to do is curl up in bed, be in my home, and wait until it passes. Or go about my normal routines (possibly around people and near a hospital, etc etc). Crazy but true.

but I will try, heck, I try constantly, because I have to and because I want to. I want to live as normal a life as possible and enjoy life. But the fear is never far away.

Thanks Dave for your posts, very comforting...

[coribell]

When my heart problems started i was scared to even walk to my mailbox and back(less than a 10 minute walk) but there came a point when i decided heck i cant live like this, sitting around expecting my hr to run up and every little while checking it to see what my hr is ...so i got off my butt started walking just a few minutes each day and now i walk about half an hour each day and im going to increase that time slowly now that i know it wont kill me.Also started eating mostly healthy foods allmost no junk food ever just the every now and then few bites of something sweet like once every few days ill have a small (allmost invisible) piece of cake and thats doing good considering before my hr problem and mvp i was in the habit of eating a large piece of cake for breakfast,potato chips for lunch and a mcchicken sandwich for dinner:( Also i was a very heavy smoker 2 pks a day now im down to only bout a half a pk and trying daily to muster up the will to stop alltogether and i know i will because i know i have to if i want to live and i have so much to live for.So thats where i am now and im doing alot better aside from the every so often feeling my ht skipping a few beats and in the evening hr is a little high but not so high to scare me to much the odd thing is after my walk lately unlike when i started the walking my hr is lower than before the walk around 74 usually which is very good.greendave iv never seen a real mountain ever only in books or on tv.I so much envy you and those that have and have even climbed one but im planning a short vacation this spring in Gatlinburg Tennessee to at last see one for the first time.And yall are right this site has been like a lifeline for all of us with these heart problems and living in fear is no way to live greendave is so right on that.

[greendave]

What an inspiring post. Yuo are doing just what I did and fighting back in a sensible way. Those little things addup and I so agree with you that we still need little treats as nothing is bad in moderation. I loved to drink but now i have to limit it so i drink only the best and enjoy my couple all the more. Smoking was hard as I loved my cogarettes but I eventually gor rid of them too and you are well on the way with that too.
I hope you enjoy the mountains when you go on vacation this spring but doing what you are doing is just so right.
Your post has really made me feel good to know that there is another person out there fighting back and I hope a lot more follow our example.
best wishes
dave

[lagoya]

u know reading these what hits me just speaking for myself it that i never had a problem with exercise or going outdoors on my own ,i have walked for miles and miles with my dogs up mountains {not as high as your mountains dave } but little ones lol ,into deep dark forests ,kinda scary even lost the dogs a few times ,but the biggest fear for me would driving ,and if the palps were bad at night ,lying there awake wishing ,praying for them to go ,wondering why they wont stop ,what was causing them ,in the end i would think myself to sleep ,i am not good in crowds much more either since the svt ,when my svt hit first ,it hit really hard ,i was rushed to hosiptal twice and kept in for days twice ,my ablation was a rush in the end cause my rate was high and cause of my age ,35 at the time ,i worked in a physical job in contruction,and still do not as active on the ground now but i have no problem going up on a roof and that ,but the driving gets me a lot ,,,i have to say the whole thing has changed me better or worst i am not sure...but i think svt and arrthyhmias etc makes a person very aware of their body what is going on inside i read that on a lot of the posts here ,the fear ,the worry ,the doubts that seem to root into our minds about the tach ...i am going to move forward with the things i want to accomplish in my life and allthough i know the fear walks along side of me ,i welcome it and if the fears wants to, we shall dance together and step on its toes i shall cause i want to live .be happy .feel free ...,i am not sure if i could climb up a big mountain like that right now ,but who knows time is a healer and my clock is ticking ,i know i have had to give up quite a few things that i miss cause of my hr but it is all about balance and peace of mind regaining confidence in your body and the  wonderful  machine that it is .we all have fear in some form or another and it is a terrible thing and for those who have tasted how bitter it can be it is demeaning ,but it does not have to be this way ,learning to control it ,trick it ,educate it ,realase it will prove to be your most valuable asset.
i gald there are people posting in here who wish to improve their life with these rhythms and i know together we can make a diference so to all of you who read this and are making a diference i salute you and admire u for being who u are

great people in here
good post dave

[coribell]

Thanks Dave, yeah the way i look at it i might drop dead in my tracks one day doing whatever i can to get healthy but by Golly i wont be going down without a fight and i cant or anyone cant get better by letting fear rule over their lives.Lagoya i use to fall asleep to worrying about my heart problem just like you but like you say there came a time when i decided it was time to move forward with my life and my heart problem might kill me someday for real but for now the fear wont rule my life or ruin it, and i admire and sulute you both and all those that are doing their best to overcome the fear that these crazy heart problems create and i know its soooo difficult to let go of that fear but it is possible and Thank God for that.        

[Zachs]

Inspiring thread here.  I was there once.  I'm sure most of us were there, but the set backs of fear and anxiety of our hearts beating is so exhausting.  When we feel we've achieved a better understanding or we've accomplished a goal, something else tends to happen, or we feel different sensations to send our minds whirling again in the opposite direction of where we want to go.

As for myself, I have no idea where to go at this point.  I know that I have to focus or have something to focus on to really stop the cycle of fear the surrounds me everyday.  I never thought in a million years that I'd be worried about this at 32 years old.  I'm sure many of us get frustrated and ask or shout out 'why me?'.  I'm looking forward to the tough road ahead, and I really want to thank everyone here for their support and their stories It has by far helped me achieve higher understanding.  Zach

[greendave]

We have a lot in common as to the start. I was an infantry soldier so was ultra fit and spent every day under physical stress and loved it. If i was on leave and wanted to see my parenys 10 miles away I'd just run there and then run back  - I never ever had any problems or eve thought about my heart. Then at 31 completely out of the blue I ended up in hospital with a suspected heart attack and my life changes.
You have a wonderful way with words and I admire your spirit.
Driving is something else  - even now i have to pull over sometimes in the early morning on my drives to the mountains and walk for a bit - sometimes going to work is the same - why? I'll start a post and find out how many of us have this problem.
Zach
you really sum up the frustration of living a life stalked by fear - so this is what we are doing together here as we try and work a way to live a good quality life.
Coribell
again - what a spirit.
I love threads where we get into the realities of living with hr issues and are open and honest with each other.
dave

[Marie1968]

What an inspiration you are, Dave !!
Keep up the good work....

[greendave]

this is therapy for us all being able to share our fears and then how we are fighting back. We've got some great people here.
dave

[Jerry_NJ]

This mountain picture looks like it was taken form an airplane.  What was you altitude?
Did the climb involve glacier hiking with crampons on the like?

I've filed links to this and your "driving" thread for later careful reading.

Guess I'm luck that my heat problems are all atrial related, so I am mostly spared the hard thumping the ventricle is capable of producing.  My main goal now is to reduce my Metoprolol dependence.  I'm down to 50 mg daily now.

[Zachs]

Yes Dave, I agree.

I have always been anxious throughout my life even at a very young age, but until recently (the past 3 or 4 years) I've noticed a growing sensation of fear of dying.  I don't know if it has arrived because of my guilt, and 'is a higher power to judge me'?

I experience overwhelming sensations that send me into a irrational frenzy of 'what if' types of scenarios and deranged thoughts.  The irrational thoughts compile into a heaps of intellectual innuendos.  Then the self-diagnosing settles in.  Before I know it I'm diagnosing myself with every quirk and twinge I experience in my body and haste to have a intellectual answer to why I'm feeling these sensations.  I used to do this to calm myself by literally lying to myself that I would be okay.  I think I ran out of excuses. :)

I smoke, I drink, eat improperly, and have bad sleeping habits.  I am, however, a active person and do not live a complete sedentary lifestyle.  This has changed dramatically over the last 6 months.  I've changed all my bad habits thinking it would be the answer. I do feel better somewhat physically but not mentally.  It has actually
strained my mental state even more because I cannot live the old lifestyle that I love. What is the answer to this type of despair? To conquer this fear of dying and our hearts racing and skipping all the time is mastering relaxation? To not live in excessive fear anymore I hope can one day be a reality for me.

I've always been the people pleaser type, and strive to be the best at everything.  Some call it the 'Type A' personality.  I seem to always have an answer for everything, and If I don't know the answer I will come up with it or even make the best intellectual guess.  I am polite about it though.  I do not push the envelope. I don't get hyper and obnoxious and become verbally irrational towards others. I just have a divine will of bettering my existence with knowledge.  This has gotten me in trouble with my own body, and my best intellectual guess now is I've triggered my bodily instinct to survive without any intellect. (mid brain)  Sometimes I wish I wasn't smart. -- Zach

[greendave]

Hi Jerry
that photo was taken at 3600 feet which outside of Scotland is as high as you can get in the UK but it is all relative as the start was from about 100 feet so you get a good feel of height up there. In the snow an ice axe was useful in case of slips as there are some cliffs with 1500 foot drops which I would not want to slide over.
Great news about getting Metoprolol down to 50mg daily.
dave

[greendave]

Lots for thought here!
There is no doubt that a dramatic change in lifestyle can put a strain on our mental states as we have lost all our 'crutches' which often were what made life bearable. There is a way out of this which i found through my hpnotherapy studies which is that in any conflict between willpower and imagination - imagination will always win. what this means is that forcing ourselves to do something that we do not really want to do will not work.
We need to visualise the 'new us' in a positive way which does not involve any negatives so not 'I will not smoke'  willpower and negative - but 'I am now free from the desire to smoke etc. (positive)
then the big black hole needs to be filled with positives so via meditation you need to visualise and draw in 'universl energy' and fill yourself with love. You need to love yourself for what you truly are and live in love - not living to please others.
dave

[bundleblocker]

Hi Dave!  You are a true inspiration. Thanks for writing.

I am 72 and started having irregular heartbeats a few years ago. I now have "lone" Afibs. The first time I had the Afibs I really panicked. I live alone with my four dogs and my main concern was what would happen to my dogs if I just passed out (or died!)

After a few incidents of all night Afibs I went to the ER and am now on Metoprolol.

In a way, I'm grateful for my Afibs. I think it was a wake-up call to get my affairs in order. So after delaying for years, I now finally have a will and a trust set up with full instructions about the care of my dogs.

I have contacted all the people who are willing to help with finding homes for them,if my kids are not willing or able.

Just the fact that everything is in order has put my mind at ease.

I am very active, still jog every day, so hopefully can keep going for a long time yet, but you just never know.

So now when I get the Afibs, I try hard to think of something else. I have found if I worry about them they will start.

I am also concentrating on eating right (heavy, fatty foods seem to bring them on) getting enough rest, but mainly just trying to stay more relaxed. I'm a born worryer so that is difficult for me.

But I'm hanging in there. Every day gets a little easier and every day I worry a little less about what my heart is doing.

[greendave]

Four dogs eh that's really great - what have you got and what are their personalities? It must keep you really fit taking them out. I am really impressed with how you have put things in order just in case ' - after all you are the leader of the pack!
I hope I am lucky enough to be as active as you when i reach 72 - please let me still be able to get up in the mountains.
I have the same problem with heavy fatty foods which really drain my energy but if I eat a very simple meal of mashed potatos, carrots and sprouts with vegetarian quorn pieces cooked in olive oil - I have so much energy i feel like I'm on fire. Eating fresh simple foods seems to work really well for me.
I know all about worry but again simple relaxation, abdominal breathing and a bit of positive visualisation works wonders.
Great to hear from you as yet again we have another fighter who is sorting things out.
best wishes
dave

[nikgirl28]

yes dave you are very inspiring...breath of fresh air on this forum!

[jondsam]

Thats a great story, thanks for the post.

[lucyluu]

Hey there Dave,

Your at it again I see getting everyone inspired:)  Just wanted to update you.  Had a great month and went 15 days without meds.  Its been the best time in 6 months.  Also helps that the baby is finally sleeping through the night.  PVC's are still there constantly but more in control and walking is getting easier now.  I walked 2 or 3 times when I was not on the medication and had not one PVC that I could feel and I was walking at a good pace and went up a big hill:)  Yippee

Glad to see you are doing well and in good spirits as usual.

Lucy

[lucyluu]

I just wanted to comment to you because I know how you feel.  Im almost 6 months into this whole PVC thing and I am 30 years old.  When you said that you are making changes and getting frustrated it made me want to post.  Number one because we are so young its soooo frustrating to not be able to do what we want.  I hate the fact that I cant just sit back and drink a cocktail at a BBQ like I used to.  Everything I do in my life now is based around these dumb things and I think o my its going to be a long 30 or 40 years when I live to 70.  The changes take time and you will feel better.  I changed my whole diet and added acupuncture and it took 4 months to feel the way I do now.  I still get the PVC's but they are not as bad and dont come with pain anymore.  I am even able to drink martinis again but no more than one in a night.  This is a big deal for me.  I couldnt even drink a glass of wine over summer.  

The changes I made were:

I started juicing
I take fish oil, vitamin C with Rosehip and magnesium tablets.
I eat a lot more potassium and drink a lot more milk and soy.
Acupuncture at first every week for 1 month then spaced out to 2 weeks and then 3 and so on.

When the docs had me do all the tests all was well.  No CAD or structure problems with my heart.  They did find that my Potassium was very low and that effects the way your heart fires I guess.  After adding in the things my heart needs through supplements, food and Chinese herbs I feel amazing.  I still cant do as much as I would like but I couldnt imagine feeling this way again 4 months ago.  

Illness can be good sometimes because it gives you the chance to make necessary changes your body needs.  None of us have dropped dead so we are lucky to have the chance to communicate and help ourselves before we are another statistic.  Dont worry life will be fun again.  Ive always been anxious too but Im learning to just let go and worry about the things that can happen now.  To let go of the petty things that dont really matter and make me so anxious all the time.  

Lucy

[bundleblocker]

You are so right about the foods!  The more natural foods I eat; fresh veggies, fruits, etc. the better I feel. Whenever I eat something unhealthy with lots of preservatives I get quick burst of energy and then a huge drop in energy a short while later.

My grandmother, who was born in 1865, was way ahead of her time. She was a vegetarian, as was my Mom, and lived to be 95.

My dogs are all rescues.I used to volunteer at a shelter and now do fostering for a breed rescue. I have a chesapeake bay retriever, a chesapeake/pit mix, a catahoula leopard dog and a pit mix.

They are all loving dogs and except for one, were on death row at the animal shelter.

My chessie/pit mix is starting in Agility next month. He is the youngest and a real firecracker.

The others are older, but I jog with all of them daily; one at a time of course!

[Zachs]

Thanks for your post.  Very nice to know the similarities that we share. I guess everyone has different scenarios to specific situations and needs. Oh geeze, If I could only explain the frustration in one sentence!  YEAH RIGHT.. :)  But I guess the point of the matter is 'communication'.  Something that I've suffered from for many years. I think communication has been one of my pitfalls to date. I mean.... I can communicate, just on the wrong level as I should.  It has affected more that I've realized, especially my whole family.  But on the note of your post, and the similar sensations and now realizations,  we now know what the best course of action needs to be.  That is living life the way its supposed to be, and treating ourselves how we want to be treated--- In our cases how we want feel.

I have not gone the acupuncture route, and I may not need this.  But It has not totally slipped my mind.  My symptoms are very unique, and they don't always present themselves in the same order, fashion, or sensation.  I'm more 'mental' in a sense, so to speak. Most of my sensations stem from anxiety and fear more than anything else.  I've lived this way for so long, and it does run in my family.  All this anxiety could just be the fact that I'm getting older, or that I'm not taking care of myself, and it compounds into just about every disease you can think of.  I'm sure there's a name for this, and I think I know what it is.  But...  I'll keep reading....   Thanks so much though for the post, and have a blessed holiday (s).. Zach

[nikgirl28]

Did you have a baby not too long ago...my youngest is 2 years old...and after i stopped breastfeeding 5 months ago...pvc, pac, svt...constant....I know it has something to do with hormones...but it's really frustrating because i had to cut a lot of things out of my diet just so i wouldn't get them as much...and around menstration 2 wks before...they never let up....just wondering if you had it worse also after the birth of your babies or baby?

[lucyluu]

I had been having weird issues after the birth of my first son and no one could figure it out.  Then after having the second 6 months ago my heart literally lost its mind.  A few days after having the baby I felt this strange sensation and my resting, walking, standing heart rate dropped to 45.  When I slept it was dipping into the 30's.  It did this for 3 weeks and then gradually came back up for a month to normal.  This was terrifying.  Then the PVC's rolled in like a storm.  I would have dizzy spells, pain, numbness, headaches.  I really thought I was going to die.  It took another 2 months before the doctor finally said that I dont have anxiety and something was wrong DUH.  They finally did the tests and confirmed the situation.  Then I had to stop breast feeding so I could take medication to slow everything down and it seemed like things got even worse for a while.  Which I believe is due to the hormone change of not breastfeeding anymore.

Id been journaling my life the whole time so I logged it all into the tracker on this site.  After 4 months of info was put in and 2 new months of info with meds there was definately a pattern.  My PVC's were the worst.  I mean ER stuff at the height of ovulation.  The next day it would completely stop and I would have 2 or 3 good days and then there was a gradual increase in symptoms till my period started.  Alaways the night before my period it would be terrible and then just stop and be fine the next day.

I know this is hormonal for me and by seeing the charts it has helped me to wean off of my medication of course with docs approval.  I still get the PVC's a lot but they are not as bad.  I stated all the changes I made above and that has helped a lot.  Acupuncture really works great on women more than men.  It does something to your hormones.  I am now having regular non heavy periods which plagued me my whole life.  So heres where I am at.  If I start with the night before my period its holy hell and then from the start through the next 13 days life is amazing.  Then around the 13th day when I start to ovulate things slowly get bad with the height of ovulation being a bad day.  The next 3 days are great again followed by a steady increase in bad days until the horrific few days before my period starts again.  I only take my medication 2 or 3 times a month now.  Just on those really bad days and its nice to keep the log because I can predict my life and now why Im emotional because I know exactly when my hormones are changing.  Dont you love being a woman?  Look at this stuff.  

Please please share your story with me.  Ive been wanting to meet someone in the same situation but a few years ahead of me.  How are you doing now?  What is your life like?  Are you on meds?  Did you try other alternatives?  Im not so desperate anymore because I feel like my life is getting under control now.  American and Chinese meds have really worked out for me but I like to see what other people try.  Im so glad you at least got to breast feed.  I was devistated when I had to stop but the doc really thought my heart would not be able to handle anymore stress.

Anyway please keep in touch.  I would love to hear how you are doing every so often to compare notes.

Lucy

[greendave]

I am blown away by your posts and by you!!. By keeping the journals. as you are doing, and looking for patterns we could have a massive breakthrough for all of us male and female.
I can feel the excitement in your last post to Nikgirl.
Please keep this going
lots of love
dave