Aa
I'm just plain scared...
Well, first off, I apologize for taking up a thread with this vent. I just don't know how to process all I am thinking about and you guys are all so insightful and helpful. Please feel free to post other topics on this thread...
I don't even know where to begin. I am scared. I have shared little parts of my story, but to recap, I am hep c positive. I found out I had the antibodies in 1995, and thought that I just had the antibodies. Eventually it came to light in 2001 when I asked to be retested that I in fact have the active virus.
Still, at that time, I was told it really is up to me whether to treat or not, my liver enzymes have always been normal etc. My hubby and I decided to wait it out, start our family (given the less than 5% chance of it being passed on to a baby) and go from there. Well, sadly, it was passed on to my darling dear daughter, but thus far she seems fine. I could post a whole other post about my worries for her, but this post is going to be about me.
My GI told me basically that I only need to come back when I am ready to treat. I have not been back. I am too scared. I feel like I have increasing sxs, and I am so afraid of what I am going to find out. How is this logical? I cannot explain this. I am afraid to treat, I am afraid not to treat. I am petrified of the long term effects of the treatment, and just as petrified of taking a chance with this disease. Every ache and pain, I feel like OH NO, that must be my liver getting worse. All these symptoms, the RA type stuff, the GI issues, I feel like I have all of them...
I don't even know where to begin. I am scared. I have shared little parts of my story, but to recap, I am hep c positive. I found out I had the antibodies in 1995, and thought that I just had the antibodies. Eventually it came to light in 2001 when I asked to be retested that I in fact have the active virus.
Still, at that time, I was told it really is up to me whether to treat or not, my liver enzymes have always been normal etc. My hubby and I decided to wait it out, start our family (given the less than 5% chance of it being passed on to a baby) and go from there. Well, sadly, it was passed on to my darling dear daughter, but thus far she seems fine. I could post a whole other post about my worries for her, but this post is going to be about me.
My GI told me basically that I only need to come back when I am ready to treat. I have not been back. I am too scared. I feel like I have increasing sxs, and I am so afraid of what I am going to find out. How is this logical? I cannot explain this. I am afraid to treat, I am afraid not to treat. I am petrified of the long term effects of the treatment, and just as petrified of taking a chance with this disease. Every ache and pain, I feel like OH NO, that must be my liver getting worse. All these symptoms, the RA type stuff, the GI issues, I feel like I have all of them...
I'm also an older mom with a 4 yr old who is HIGH energy. On a regular basis I tend to loose my patience quickly with my headstrong son. Seeing another mom struggling with the same issues gives me hope doing treatment while parenting will be okay.
As soon, as I find out my VL, I will post my profile including email address in the event you'd like to correspond.
Thanks,
As soon, as I find out my VL, I will post my profile including email address in the event you'd like to correspond.
Thanks,
I ditto everything that has been said so far. I do, however, have a practical issue for you to consider and that is your insurance. Tx is expensivie, so look also at how much of the costs will be covered by your insurance.
You are a lucky one to be a type 2. I was a 1B and had tough sides the first few wks, then they leveled out and it wasn't too bad for me. Did the whole 48 wks. You CAN do 24 wks. Would suggest if you decide to tx now, though, that you do have some support and help around the house/kids the first couple shots anyway to see how your body reacts. You may not have any reaction to the meds but it would be nice to know if you someone to call on if you need them.
Good luck in making your decision. We are all here for you.
You are a lucky one to be a type 2. I was a 1B and had tough sides the first few wks, then they leveled out and it wasn't too bad for me. Did the whole 48 wks. You CAN do 24 wks. Would suggest if you decide to tx now, though, that you do have some support and help around the house/kids the first couple shots anyway to see how your body reacts. You may not have any reaction to the meds but it would be nice to know if you someone to call on if you need them.
Good luck in making your decision. We are all here for you.
I can so much relate to your fears, I also am experiencing the same feelings, having two kids not knowing if they are infected with this disease. Just today I went to have the blood test done to find out what type and VL I have. I feel like my life stopped. The only thing that keeps me going is reading all the posts and knowing that I am not the only one and that there might be hope. Unfortunately I have already experienced stigma associated with this disease and honestly need help on how to handle it (i.e. doctor's PA making comments about "immigrants bringing this over here"(I told her off on that one) , stares or no eye contact while handling my paperwork at the blood lab.)
I know I'm just blabbing but please endulge me.
Puffins
I know I'm just blabbing but please endulge me.
Puffins
First of all Thank You. It's funny, but some of my physical sxs immediately started to feel better after getting that off my chest. It really helps to know there are people here in the same boat.
Puffins, I completely know what you mean about the stigma attached to this disease. I have told VERY few people, just one or two friends. We had a "playdate" with one of these friends, and she then called me later that day to see if her child was in danger of contracting the disease from mine. While I totally understood her concern, it just was a TERRIBLE HORRIBLE feeling to go through dealing with that. I felt so ostracized and sad that this is what I will face more and more should I choose to tell more people....
Anyway, I hope to be a more active poster here. I always feel bad using up threads so I don't post much! lol Have any of you ever created a chatroom just for this board, like say on MSN or something? It would be very cool to "talk" with some of you in real time.
Puffins, I completely know what you mean about the stigma attached to this disease. I have told VERY few people, just one or two friends. We had a "playdate" with one of these friends, and she then called me later that day to see if her child was in danger of contracting the disease from mine. While I totally understood her concern, it just was a TERRIBLE HORRIBLE feeling to go through dealing with that. I felt so ostracized and sad that this is what I will face more and more should I choose to tell more people....
Anyway, I hope to be a more active poster here. I always feel bad using up threads so I don't post much! lol Have any of you ever created a chatroom just for this board, like say on MSN or something? It would be very cool to "talk" with some of you in real time.
Sorry to hear about the stigma part of this disease. I know how you feel though cause I have been treated funny too, only rarely by strangers. My own family give me the feeling that I have something they can catch if they should get too close. Instead of learning about this they just THINK they have all the answers. Things being said like,"you just wait till your finished with the meds, you will finally have your health back. It doesn't seem to matter that I have been on disability for about 5 years now and that was before I even found out I had hepc. People need to stop thinking they have all the answers and that they know what you are going through because unless they have this, they don't have a clue. I hope things get better for you and that the stares and awful treatment you have experianced stops...it just isn't right.
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