PCR/ PCP update with a hint of denial

[Infojunkie99]

Well I had a wonderful visit with my new PCP. After telling him about the positive antibody tests from Red Cross and the secondary test, he immediately recommended a PCR to determine my viral load. He even went on to say that if I was not willing to see a specialist that he would not be able to manage my care as a PCP. OMG I so love this guy! He is a young doctor so I am thinking that that possibly that is the reason that he is humble enough to acknowledge that he cannot treat all diseases.
However, a new feeling came over me once I had that order in my hand. I was tempted not to have the test done. I am thinking that this is part of my denial of the true diagnosis. If the diagnosis is not completely defined, then I can deny that it actually exists. An idiotic train of thought but I can not quite shake it.
I have only shared this possible diagnosis with a select few people. And of course my children do not know. And none of them have tested positive! Yay!!!!
Is this state of denial normal? I am so depressed that I   dread leaving my bedroom and I’m afraid that it will soon begin to affect my family in a very negative way. Any advice on how I can shake this? Yes I am already on antidepressants.

[FlGuy]

Get a copy.  If he gives results over the phone, pay attention carefully and write what he says.  Some docs who are not close to HCV testing seem to get confused with the results of a PCR.

[Infojunkie99]

Results are in but waiting for the doc to call back!!! Ahhhh

[Trish77]

Two great steps in the right direction - a new PCP who sounds MUCH better than your other one and facing your reality head on.  Denial doesn't change or stop what's going on inside of you but it could kill you, to be blunt.  Glad you found the courage to get the test done.  Try  not to worry, it won't change the results.  Just tell yourself you'll deal with whatever comes.  Hang in there.

Trish

[screaming48]

When I went in to have mine I cried my eyes out the whole time they were drawing blood, they were so very sweet and gave me hugs and tried to perk me up. It is so very hard to deal with.

[Infojunkie99]

Thank you everyone. I knew I could find encouraging words here:) the lab tech said 3-4 days because it needs to be sent out. If the medical world works like the business world that means Monday or Tuesday of next week. Since I believe I've had HCV for about 10 years and my liver fx is normal I'm very curious as to the results. And worried as well ..... So where is the corner that I cry into?

[paen53]

You're not alone. I don't think there is such a thing as a stress-free PCR - before, during or after tx. Nope. But what it does give you is valuable information about your health and whether or not it will be a "player" in your future. Knowledge is empowering.

Hope you get your results back quickly - the wait was always the hardest for me.
Hang in there, Pam