Starting Treatment

[Maxy2181]

Hi All,

I'm about to start tx on the 13th of Feb and i've been preparing myself mentally for a pretty rough trot in the coming months.

The 1 thing i'm most worried about is that i've met the most amazing girl in the last 3 months and i really dont wont to tell her i have HCV and will be starting treatment.

Is there a suitable substitute disease/treatment that i could mention to her / friends that doesn't have the same stigma attcahed to it?? ( i know it ***** hey) I've heard chemo used, but it seems a bit dramatic.

Also does anyone have any tips in preparing for treatment and early stages of treatment??? DIet??

Cheers

[epiphiny]

Lol, nice!

[FlGuy]

To re-purpose the closing line from the original King Kong..."twas girded loins killed the beast"

[epiphiny]

I believe it is best to be honest with this person.  I know there can be stigma and shame attached to disclosing one's Hep C status but not everyone responds in a negative fashion.

I met my husband when I had just finished my first unsuccessful treatment.  When I met him I knew he was someone very special, and I also knew I had to tell him about my 'condition' as I called it.

I was terrified.  He was so cool, and I liked him so much and by telling him this information I was opening myself to the possibility of being rejected.  After a soul searching conversation with a close friend I knew I had to tell the truth and have faith.  If he didn't understand and accept me AS I WAS then there wasn't a lot of point in  pursuing a relationship with him.

So I girded my loins, chanted and said some fervent prayers.  I went to his house and sat down with him and told him about it.  I was entirely honest with him, I talked about how people get it, risks, and precautions that we needed to take.

He was AMAZING.  He listened to me, responded with nothing but care and concern and asked how the illness manifested for me and how it affected me and what could he do to help me.  

I think it was right then that I knew he was 'my guy'. We are now happily married and I am so glad we began our life-long relationship with honesty and trust.

May it be the same for you....

Epi xxxxx

[FlGuy]

One of the points that I'm going to make may seem a listtle insensitive, maybe, so I'll apologize in advance.

Not sure how long you've had hcv or what your liver condition is.  But, you are young'ish and if hcv is not significantly liver impacting I wonder if the need to treat at this time is real compelling in the first place.  I suppose the question is if you have some experienced and astute medical advice on this subject.

The tender one is that your profile indicates that you are a woman and you mentioned that you just met a girl.  Obviously, you are concerned about a stigma associated with hcv. If your prifile is correct, you've probably had to deal with some non-conventional things and attitudes in your life already.  If that's the case, being upfront and approaching hcv and it's treatment is better undertaken head-on.  Maybe you are somewhat expereinced in some of those aspects already.

[Marcia2202]

I forgot to paste what I was referring to.

'The best advice I can give to you is to educate her and dispel the stigma and false ideals attached to the disease THAT YOU HAVE.  It won't just go away and you have to learn how to live with it with dignity.'

[Marcia2202]

Amen sista!

[Trinity4]

When starting a relationship, it's very important to be honest and up front.  Whoever you are involved with needs to know because of the obvious reasons.  However, friends, coworkers and even some family members do not have to be privileged to the fact you are treating for hepc.  If you feel the need to tell them, then by all means do so.  NO ONE at work, only my immediate family and 1 friend know I am treating and I'm on week 44.  The subject has never come up at work but if my health declined enough I suppose I would give some reason other than hepc treatment.  Some people are very understanding and others will never understand despite your efforts to educate them.  They may give you the impression they totally get it but behind your back, especially in the work environment it can be very uncomfortable.  It's not the stigma that is attached to hepc so much as I don't want to have to explain myself repeatedly and I don't want sympathy nor do I want to be asked constantly how I am feeling today.  I deal with the side effects the best way I can and it is a very personal experience for me.  
Each of us handles treatment issues differently according to our comfort level.  
Good Luck and wish you the best on your journey.
Trinty

[nygirl7]

Starting off on a lie can't be a good thing - if you do develop real feelings for each other in the future will she be able to trust you again?

I had just started a relationship with a man when I was diagnosed and I told him the truth. Fortunately for me, he knew enough about the disease to know that it's not a sexually communicated type thing generally and it was not a problem to him.

The best advice I can give to you is to educate her and dispel the stigma and false ideals attached to the disease THAT YOU HAVE.  It won't just go away and you have to learn how to live with it with dignity.

[Marcia2202]

Just on a note, this treatment is chemo and it is drastic... I tell ppl that I am on chemo for hepatitis c.

I agree with Marc, that it would be better to tell the truth.

[Marc1955]

That's a tough question. There are a whole bunch of issues wrapped up in it: do you really want to be lying to someone you are in love with? You can easily imagine a slippery slope: you make up some illness, she researches the illness out of concern for you, you're caught in more lies, and so it goes.

The reason we all find it hard to give advice regarding treatment is that side effects vary from person to person. However, certainly the majority of people on this board find that the treatment strains relationships. It makes you very inward and sometime volatile. It can be very difficult for those around you. And these are existing relationships where there are often long abiding bonds.  It really is not a good time to get into a new relationship. You actually wouldn't want a new lover to think of you the way you may be some of the time.

So I think you need to tell her the truth. Don't worry about the stigma. People have very differing views of HCV.  If you love her, I think you should also tell her that and consider cooling things and picking them up a year from now. You're not going to want to start off a new relationship while undergoing treatment. At least not a hot and heavy relationship. You may not be available for that no matter how hard you try.

The basic tips for starting treatment are drink a ton of water and try to maintain an exercise program, modest though it be. Good luck. For many this is a hard thing, but it is doable.