Aa
does it really ever get better?
My wife has three more weeks to go on her treatment and the mood swings anger and irrational behavior is getting worse. I love my wife very much but I dont know how much more I can take. she is violent rude and tonight she left
with her dogs and said she was getting a motel for the night because I didnt read her mind and make dinner excatly the way she would have done it. I dont mean to sound like I dont have compassion for what she is going thru,but I am just about over the edge. I got laid off from my job on friday and she had some kinda problem at work on thursday and she would not even talk about it. he said she didnt understand it so how could I possibly .I am so tired of being treated like I am nothing. I have tried to be understanding but there seems to be a double standard. she works late that's ok. I finally have someone interested in my music and they want to hear some things from my catolog and I am trying to put it together,I am told they aint gonna listen anyway? I really think maybe Im going crazy, I just want to run away sometimes and I know that is wrong but I thought a marriage was an equal partnership not a dictatorship maybe I am just whining for nothing I dont know
with her dogs and said she was getting a motel for the night because I didnt read her mind and make dinner excatly the way she would have done it. I dont mean to sound like I dont have compassion for what she is going thru,but I am just about over the edge. I got laid off from my job on friday and she had some kinda problem at work on thursday and she would not even talk about it. he said she didnt understand it so how could I possibly .I am so tired of being treated like I am nothing. I have tried to be understanding but there seems to be a double standard. she works late that's ok. I finally have someone interested in my music and they want to hear some things from my catolog and I am trying to put it together,I am told they aint gonna listen anyway? I really think maybe Im going crazy, I just want to run away sometimes and I know that is wrong but I thought a marriage was an equal partnership not a dictatorship maybe I am just whining for nothing I dont know
Hi depressedhusband.
Straight up, it's the drugs talking.
I've written this here before....about 20 weeks into my first tx, one day I became enraged over nothing at my wife and two pre-teen kids. In nice clothes I stomped out to my garden and began weeding it by hand while shouting nasty things. About two hours later I was covered in dirt, exhausted and came in for a shower and apologies. My behavior wasn't anything like that before tx.
Now here's the opposite view of your present situation....My wife didn't want me to start a second tx because of all the crazy mood swings on 1st tx.. Somehow she thought that I should just "suck it up", be a man, take the drugs and behave myself. On 2nd tx (Vertex Prove 3) about half way through I came to this board and asked for help because she showed NO understanding of what I was going through. Something really helpful happened....a guy named Willy50 suggested that I have her read the thread. She did and began to understand what it looks like from my shoes. I'd like to suggest that you have your wife read this thread to see how much you love her and that there are people here who have experienced the same things. BTW; I don't agree with many of the above people who deny that it's the drugs talking. Everyone reacts differently to this poison and it doesn't make sense to make a general statement.
Here's a couple other things that I'd like to suggest for your family:
a. Why don't you do something just for you. My wife took the kids out to dinner & a movie a few times WITHOUT me. I appreciated the quiet house and they appreciated not having my grumpy axx around for a few hours.
b. Will your wife's doctor prescribe something to help calm her down? On my 2nd tx Dr. Paul Kwo at IU Med. Center was very aggressive at treating side effects. He tried different things like Valium which at the end of a long day was a pleasant way to take the edge off. Oh by the way, right after tx stopped, so did the Valium. At the risk of starting a pot thread...that also was helpful to take the edge off. Drugs aren't the only avenue to take the edge off either. I went in for a weekly massage and at the risk of dry skin enjoyed a hot tub 2-3 times per week.
She has 3 weeks to go. About 2-3 weeks after stopping each treatment, I began to feel alive again inside. I love music, especially rock-n-roll, however during tx I just couldn't bear the noise. Each time after stopping tx, about the 2-3 week mark I noticed that the beat inside of me came back and on came the stereo. What I'm saying is that you are almost there and you'll get her back.
Here's something for you to look forward to. I completed my second tx (Prove 3) almost 16 months ago. I found out that I went UND on this tx between week 1-2 and remain UND at my last blood draw which was 12 months post tx. I'm cured and have my life back.
Oh yeah, my wife and are are back to our normal issues (nothing's perfect, right?), my kid's are now teenagers which create so many active discussions in the house. It's back to normal in my house...you'll get there too.
Think about having her read this thread.
Take care.
miked
Straight up, it's the drugs talking.
I've written this here before....about 20 weeks into my first tx, one day I became enraged over nothing at my wife and two pre-teen kids. In nice clothes I stomped out to my garden and began weeding it by hand while shouting nasty things. About two hours later I was covered in dirt, exhausted and came in for a shower and apologies. My behavior wasn't anything like that before tx.
Now here's the opposite view of your present situation....My wife didn't want me to start a second tx because of all the crazy mood swings on 1st tx.. Somehow she thought that I should just "suck it up", be a man, take the drugs and behave myself. On 2nd tx (Vertex Prove 3) about half way through I came to this board and asked for help because she showed NO understanding of what I was going through. Something really helpful happened....a guy named Willy50 suggested that I have her read the thread. She did and began to understand what it looks like from my shoes. I'd like to suggest that you have your wife read this thread to see how much you love her and that there are people here who have experienced the same things. BTW; I don't agree with many of the above people who deny that it's the drugs talking. Everyone reacts differently to this poison and it doesn't make sense to make a general statement.
Here's a couple other things that I'd like to suggest for your family:
a. Why don't you do something just for you. My wife took the kids out to dinner & a movie a few times WITHOUT me. I appreciated the quiet house and they appreciated not having my grumpy axx around for a few hours.
b. Will your wife's doctor prescribe something to help calm her down? On my 2nd tx Dr. Paul Kwo at IU Med. Center was very aggressive at treating side effects. He tried different things like Valium which at the end of a long day was a pleasant way to take the edge off. Oh by the way, right after tx stopped, so did the Valium. At the risk of starting a pot thread...that also was helpful to take the edge off. Drugs aren't the only avenue to take the edge off either. I went in for a weekly massage and at the risk of dry skin enjoyed a hot tub 2-3 times per week.
She has 3 weeks to go. About 2-3 weeks after stopping each treatment, I began to feel alive again inside. I love music, especially rock-n-roll, however during tx I just couldn't bear the noise. Each time after stopping tx, about the 2-3 week mark I noticed that the beat inside of me came back and on came the stereo. What I'm saying is that you are almost there and you'll get her back.
Here's something for you to look forward to. I completed my second tx (Prove 3) almost 16 months ago. I found out that I went UND on this tx between week 1-2 and remain UND at my last blood draw which was 12 months post tx. I'm cured and have my life back.
Oh yeah, my wife and are are back to our normal issues (nothing's perfect, right?), my kid's are now teenagers which create so many active discussions in the house. It's back to normal in my house...you'll get there too.
Think about having her read this thread.
Take care.
miked
"I think we pretty much covered it from every angle"
Look at depressed husbands profile and I think we may have another angle to look at..I'm sorry if I'm wrong.
Tammy
Look at depressed husbands profile and I think we may have another angle to look at..I'm sorry if I'm wrong.
Tammy
Your welcome. Hopefully this thread will be put to rest. I think we pretty much covered it from every angle.
funny!!! Thanks for injecting a little humor into this.
The bottom line is no one knows what the relationship is really like. Everyone is speculating. I just presented facts that the medicine does indeed do this to some people and some relationships.
If there was a problem before this will only make it worse. My wife is close with me and supportive and was ready to head for the hills at one point. She said I do not think this treatment is worth it.
thanks again for the joke. Old classic but a good one!
The bottom line is no one knows what the relationship is really like. Everyone is speculating. I just presented facts that the medicine does indeed do this to some people and some relationships.
If there was a problem before this will only make it worse. My wife is close with me and supportive and was ready to head for the hills at one point. She said I do not think this treatment is worth it.
thanks again for the joke. Old classic but a good one!
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