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Avatar universal

does it really ever get better?

My wife has three more weeks to go on her treatment and the mood swings anger and irrational behavior is getting worse. I love my wife very much but I dont know how much  more I can take. she is violent rude and tonight she left
with her dogs and said she was getting a motel for the night because I didnt read her mind and make dinner excatly the way she would have done it. I dont mean to sound like I dont have compassion for what she is going thru,but I am just about over the edge. I got laid off from my job on friday and she had some kinda problem at work on thursday and she would not even talk about it. he said she didnt understand it so how could I possibly .I am so tired of being treated like I am nothing. I have tried to be understanding but there seems to be a double standard. she works late that's ok. I finally have someone interested in my music and they want to hear some things from my catolog and I am trying to put it together,I am told they aint gonna listen anyway? I really think maybe Im going crazy, I just want to run away sometimes and I know that is wrong but I thought a marriage was an equal partnership not a dictatorship maybe I am just whining for nothing I dont know
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Avatar universal
I had to tell my gf that i felt terrible and didn't want to talk yesterday. She knows about the irritability and left me alone. I was actually getting very angry just because she said something to me and I felt like it was too much effort to respond to her. So I just wanted and breathed deep and said I need to be quiet for a while.
Helpful - 0
206807 tn?1331936184
This is a copy of the thread when you posted it before. My position remains the same and I am sure everyone else's does to.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/737356
Helpful - 0
9648 tn?1290091207
Wow. I grew up in an emotionally abusive household and I have one bit of advice: you can't let her treat you like that. It just isn't okay.

Sounds to me like you both need to take a step back. She's clearly having lots of trouble with the tx and that doesn't put her in any position to offer you advice or reassurance (which it sounds like you need). With her volatility, you're better off with less interaction. Sometimes on tx people just can't talk about things. It isn't good to try and force it.
Helpful - 0
149675 tn?1416673133
I do not have any idea what your relationship was like prior to her treatment. i had read your previous thread when you posted it and reserved my comment at the time.

I will tell you that what she is experiencing is definitely from these meds. I had some pretty severe anger issues early on and said a lot of mean and hurtful things. This medicine made me not only irritable, but at times full of rage, and even a little aggressive. My doctor put me on AD's and Xanax and the problems cleared up. I resisted taking the meds until it became clear I had no choice. they made a huge difference. i was not like that prior to treatment. I was the eternal optimist in life. This treatment made me cynical and mean. I did not like who it made me. My wife had commented many times she just wanted the old me back again.

There is a lot of research that clearly documents this behavior. My doctor even told my children to understand that this was all from the medicine and it was not daddy.

Like I said I have no idea what you and your wife's relationship was like prior. I also know from what you said that you had been in an abusive relationship earlier in your life.

I will not attempt to tell you what to do but rather to understand this is the meds contributing to her irrational behavior, emotional outbursts, etc. Anyone who tries to tell you differently is mistaken.

This treatment has ruined a few relationships and there has been a few posts over the years about it. It is not only hard for those who treat but can also be really hard for the families that are trying to love and support us.

I really hope this all works out for you and your wife and feel for you. I know this has got to be really hard on you.

It sounds like she should have been treated for these issues a while ago. If she has 3 weeks to go hopefully she will rebound quickly. Just know that some have lingering effects for a while after stopping TX. She needs to discuss these issues with her doctor.   Good luck and may you find the courage and wisdom to do what is best.
Helpful - 0
726434 tn?1302056954
Im sorry to hear your having such a hard time with everything. I am just less than 2 weeks from finishing treatment. As I was reading your post, I thought maybe MY husband found my bookmark and came in here to vent.... ask for advise. Wasnt till you said that your wife left with the dogs that I knew for sure it wasnt me.  In the last month or so I have been very very moody. and in the last couple of weeks Ive had what I can only describe as psychotic episodes. I nearly ran my husband over in the driveway the other day, because he came out to help me clean off the car (snow) after i had already done it. Now that Im not in that moment I know it was absolutely nothing to do with him, but it seems to be like a snowball effect with a definate avalanche at the end of it. My son told me the other day that I needed to be locked up. I told him " thats what Ive been trying to tell you " . I know that these drugs I am taking have changed me from a fairly happy go lucky kinda gal to a total nutbar.  So I guess for you, you'd have to ask yourself honestly... how was she towards you before treatment???  If things were good, then you have no reason to doubt that will be the case once the poison leaves her body.
If nothing else I just wanted you to know that there is another depressed husband out there..... hang in there its almost over!     Anne
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Excuse me for saying this but your wife sounds like a selfish *****.  Its all about her.  I'm not buying into she's doing this because of the medicine.  There's nothing in this world could make be rude or disrespectful to my husband.  Maybe a little quick tempered or short, but never rude or saying hateful things like your wife has done to you.

You deserve better and both of you should see a marriage counselor as Mark1955 suggested.  If she won't go and things don't change you should leave there as fast as you can. Run !  

You need to stand up to her and when she threatens you with leaving tell her 'Don't let the door hit you in the *** "  Don't let yourself become a door mat to her abuse.  Maybe if you stand up to her she may respect you a little more.  Women like Men--not doormats.  She does it because she knows she can get away with it.  You are allowing her to take away your self esteem, your sense of self worth.  That is never okay.  She is degrading you.

You must make a stand or things will never get better.  Good luck!
Helpful - 0
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