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sex/hiv/hypc help
When I married my husband I knew he had hiv although I didnt know about the hyp c either did he until we went to the doc here in the USA. Since we finally started living together we have not had sexual intercourse since 2sept 2010. I am not infected I have given him some oral sex a couple of times but we didn;t let the seman go int my mouth. I am dying here. My husband says he has no desire for making love. I cant control what my hormones do when they are going insane. I love him and would give my ife for him, but I feel like I am ugly and unatractive to him. Also he has been with out meds for 2 months and i do not were to go anymore. I cant afford 2000.00 for meds. He has had a fever for 8 days now and I am afraid his anitbodies are down. Anyone out there that can answer some of my quetions?? About sex and medcines?? thanks
Anyone out there that can answer some of my quetions?? About sex and medcines?? thanks
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He has had a fever for eight days...
He has been without his HIV meds for two months
How is he managing is viral load? Is he asymptomatic? With HCV viral load is not nearly as important as it with HIV.
You probably know this already but:
There is no cure for HIV infection or AIDS nor is there a vaccine to prevent HIV infection. However, new medications not only can slow the progression of the infection, but can also markedly suppress the virus, thereby restoring the body’s immune function and permitting many HIV-infected individuals to lead a normal, disease-free life.
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I figure enough folks tried to address the sexual part of your question. So I guess I will take a stop at the other part of your question. Honestly I know be married to someone with a disease can be incredibly strenuous and a even a disappointment at times to say the least.
As a spouse it helps to become involved in treatment. It is doing neither of you any good letting disease hang over your heads like a dark cloud. Not having the resources to treat might mean finding funding to supplement the cost of his meds and/or medical cost. I know the first step has to come from your husband so sorry if it sounds in any way if I am coming down on you.
Trust me I can attest to how other things can slide when intimacy of any kind falls by the way side and I realise how incredibly lonely you must be. As a woman it is difficult to not personalise indifference even if it is not about you. I hope you figure out a way to pleasure yourself and I hope you two can work through this.
Best of luck to you
Be sure to keep in touch
____________________
He has had a fever for eight days...
He has been without his HIV meds for two months
How is he managing is viral load? Is he asymptomatic? With HCV viral load is not nearly as important as it with HIV.
You probably know this already but:
There is no cure for HIV infection or AIDS nor is there a vaccine to prevent HIV infection. However, new medications not only can slow the progression of the infection, but can also markedly suppress the virus, thereby restoring the body’s immune function and permitting many HIV-infected individuals to lead a normal, disease-free life.
_________________
I figure enough folks tried to address the sexual part of your question. So I guess I will take a stop at the other part of your question. Honestly I know be married to someone with a disease can be incredibly strenuous and a even a disappointment at times to say the least.
As a spouse it helps to become involved in treatment. It is doing neither of you any good letting disease hang over your heads like a dark cloud. Not having the resources to treat might mean finding funding to supplement the cost of his meds and/or medical cost. I know the first step has to come from your husband so sorry if it sounds in any way if I am coming down on you.
Trust me I can attest to how other things can slide when intimacy of any kind falls by the way side and I realise how incredibly lonely you must be. As a woman it is difficult to not personalise indifference even if it is not about you. I hope you figure out a way to pleasure yourself and I hope you two can work through this.
Best of luck to you
Be sure to keep in touch
Oh God, here we go again. :-)))
Shellyo- I don't mean to reduce your thread with adolescent giggling...we have all been through this sort of thing TOO LONG!
However Coraggio made some very good points (I think he needs to start a new group called hope for the aging)
Take your needs seriously. Being sexual is part of being alive and you are right to want fulfillment.
However, getting your fiance back on meds should be the priority for him. Without his health, the libido is buried. You love him, help him get through this. With his health will return his passion.
All the best
Shellyo- I don't mean to reduce your thread with adolescent giggling...we have all been through this sort of thing TOO LONG!
However Coraggio made some very good points (I think he needs to start a new group called hope for the aging)
Take your needs seriously. Being sexual is part of being alive and you are right to want fulfillment.
However, getting your fiance back on meds should be the priority for him. Without his health, the libido is buried. You love him, help him get through this. With his health will return his passion.
All the best
"If your sexual arousal is heightend to the point where orgasm is possible then incorporate the use of sex toys. They have some pretty nifty ones out there. :) "
Please don't leave us "hanging" here, do tell more!
Please don't leave us "hanging" here, do tell more!
We have a store here in the Bay Area, called Good Vibrations. I went in the other day, ans was amazed at the toy and condom selection. They have a new kind of non-latex one, since I last shopped around (years ago, hah)
That being said, your husband may have lost his sex drive, from the Hep C. That is exactly what happened to me. Our sex hormones can be affected by the Hep C virus, so to the original poster: it's not that he doesn't love you, or that you arent attractive, it has to do with lack of sex drive, on his part, perhaps~
Get your husband back on his HIV meds right away, This is the first
and foremost important thing. We have clinics for low income people.
I am happy to report that we now have many, many great HIV meds available now, and people with HIV can now
live out long and healthy lives because of it.
But if they are coinfected with Hep C, this can accelerate the Hep C damage, and cirrhosis may occur in as little as 3 years. So your husband also needs to treat his Hep C, to get rid of it. There are some Clinical trials involving coinfected people (HCV + HIV) and since it is a Research Trial, your husbands Hep C Treatmebt would be free.
But he needs to get back on the HIV neds first
That being said, your husband may have lost his sex drive, from the Hep C. That is exactly what happened to me. Our sex hormones can be affected by the Hep C virus, so to the original poster: it's not that he doesn't love you, or that you arent attractive, it has to do with lack of sex drive, on his part, perhaps~
Get your husband back on his HIV meds right away, This is the first
and foremost important thing. We have clinics for low income people.
I am happy to report that we now have many, many great HIV meds available now, and people with HIV can now
live out long and healthy lives because of it.
But if they are coinfected with Hep C, this can accelerate the Hep C damage, and cirrhosis may occur in as little as 3 years. So your husband also needs to treat his Hep C, to get rid of it. There are some Clinical trials involving coinfected people (HCV + HIV) and since it is a Research Trial, your husbands Hep C Treatmebt would be free.
But he needs to get back on the HIV neds first
. If your sexual arousal is heightend to the point where orgasm is possible then incorporate the use of sex toys. They have some pretty nifty ones out there. :)
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I find this interesting.....and somewhat stimulating.... but that is just me
Will
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I find this interesting.....and somewhat stimulating.... but that is just me
Will
"Since we finally started living together we have not had sexual intercourse since 2sept 2010. I am not infected I have given him some oral sex a couple of times but we didn;t let the seman go int my mouth. I am dying here. My husband says he has no desire for making love. I cant control what my hormones do when they are going insane."
Let's address your sexual needs here. Intercourse in one of the most gratifying ways to achieve sexual satisfaction but there are other ways to make love that can provide you with gratification and quench those raging hormones. You and your husband are partners and if he is a willing participant you can lay next to each other and incorporate techniques such as scented message oils, tenderly stroking each other, conversing intimately, just to name a few. Touching plays is a very big part in sexual arousal, penetration or fellacio are not the only games in town. If your sexual arousal is heightend to the point where orgasm is possible then incorporate the use of sex toys. They have some pretty nifty ones out there. :) Perhaps all this can provide you with some closeness and a sense of sexual satisfaction. I'll shut up now for fear of sounding like Dr. Ruth. :)
Let's address your sexual needs here. Intercourse in one of the most gratifying ways to achieve sexual satisfaction but there are other ways to make love that can provide you with gratification and quench those raging hormones. You and your husband are partners and if he is a willing participant you can lay next to each other and incorporate techniques such as scented message oils, tenderly stroking each other, conversing intimately, just to name a few. Touching plays is a very big part in sexual arousal, penetration or fellacio are not the only games in town. If your sexual arousal is heightend to the point where orgasm is possible then incorporate the use of sex toys. They have some pretty nifty ones out there. :) Perhaps all this can provide you with some closeness and a sense of sexual satisfaction. I'll shut up now for fear of sounding like Dr. Ruth. :)
HCV is not a sexually transmitted disease although it can be transmitted through rough sex where bleeding and skin tearing is involved or anal sex where the membranes are more likely to tear.
I think the primary focus for now should be on securing the medications for the HIV through a drug company compassionate use program or HIV organizations who focus on getting medications to those who can't afford them. You may want to post on the HIV forum, I'm sure you will get some good direction regarding safe sex practices for those infected with HIV and also some insight as to why your husband doesn't any sexual desire at this time. Quite sure it's not that he doesn't find you attractive, he's just go a lot going on with his body right now.
Those that are co-infected (HIV and HCV) can be treated for HCV but the HIV has to under control before that can happen, otherwise the blood values can drop to dangerous levels. If your husband can't afford to be under the care of good infectious disease doctor the HIV forum may also be able to provide names of organizations that can help with his care at little or no cost.
Good luck and never think for one minute you aren't beautiful because every human being is in their own way.
I think the primary focus for now should be on securing the medications for the HIV through a drug company compassionate use program or HIV organizations who focus on getting medications to those who can't afford them. You may want to post on the HIV forum, I'm sure you will get some good direction regarding safe sex practices for those infected with HIV and also some insight as to why your husband doesn't any sexual desire at this time. Quite sure it's not that he doesn't find you attractive, he's just go a lot going on with his body right now.
Those that are co-infected (HIV and HCV) can be treated for HCV but the HIV has to under control before that can happen, otherwise the blood values can drop to dangerous levels. If your husband can't afford to be under the care of good infectious disease doctor the HIV forum may also be able to provide names of organizations that can help with his care at little or no cost.
Good luck and never think for one minute you aren't beautiful because every human being is in their own way.
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