Mental preparation question

[Trish77]

I'm sorry if this is too personal of a question to ask.  I find that the closer I get to doing treatment, the more I begin to grieve all over again.  Perhaps it's because I had treatment rescheduled because of my choice to switch doctors.  I don't know.  I have just found it's like starting all over again.  And now I find I'm going through the grieving process again.  That period of time where you come to grips with what this means for your life and the fact that you may never get what you hope to once treatment is done.  I still don't want to delay treatment.  All my reasons for choosing to proceed at this time are just as valid to me as they were when I made the decision back in the late fall.  I just find...that it's hitting me hard.  And as hard as it's hitting me, I am just as resolved to get this done.  No more talk of sword swinging and warpaint the first day of drugs.  Just this grit my teeth and get it done resolve because I just know this is how it has to be so that I can get to the rest of my life.  I feel like I'm mourning for the next year of my life.  I don't even know what my question is here.  Maybe...it's just too much emotion inside of me and I need to say it to people who I hope will help me deal..or slap me up side the head and tell me to snap out of it.  Whatever works.

[Trish77]

I'm going to go get my hair tinted before I get started too....I go to this woman who has a salon in her home and she's really good.  She does hair for a woman who's going through chemo and has helped her get a good wig.  It'll be nice to have her working on my hair through tx and I'm sure she'll keep me looking decent when and if the hair loss quits.

Yes, hair is important!!!  It's a major accessory!!

[Trish77]

JD, why don't you dare on the pedicure?  I just had the first manicure and pedicure of my entire life, imagine that.  

My son and his g/f gave me a pedicure for Christmas and when one of my girlfriends found out, she gave me a manicure to go with it.  I was so excited...and then  I realized I would have to tell them I have HCV, yadda yadda yadda...and it took all the fun out of it for me.  But when I got there, the woman who worked on me was SO great.  She took necessary precautions, took her gloves off for parts she wasn't concerned about and it was just so pleasant...so nice...and I just remembered, I have to send a note to that spa to tell them how terrific she was.  

So...just wondering why you aren't going?  And hm, if that's a private thing...well, feel free to keep it that way.

[Trish77]

Yep...that's how I feel right now.  Nothing is going to stop me at this point. I took on this special project at work that will put start date at about mid March but I'll drop the project if it means worse than that, I want to get this started that bad.  I just want to get this done.  So yep, my mind is made up, I'm ready and that's all there is to it.  If I have to extend, I'll extend, but whatever it takes, this is it.  Time to get it done.  It is what it is and will be what it will be but time to get 'er done.  Nice nutshell there, Linda. :)

Thanks for the good words.

Trish

[sfbaygirl]

You know when you are ready to do the tx, you just do. I was ready, prepared myself and nothing could have stopped me.  I put my whole into it and don't regret doing so, although I relapsed. Once your mind is made up, that's it!  I couldn't wait for the first drug shipment, I wanted to start.  Of course coming here is difficult hearing all the horror stories about what can happen, but that is someone else's story. You are equiped with knowledge about this disease and know that it isn't easy. Now that you know what you do and are still ready to go on tx,  go for it!!! You have very good chances to succeed if you follow the PCR's and their results closely. If you don't clear by week 12, you have to continue.  Anyway, enough of that, both of you know all that.  I just want to wish you well and as Andiamo says, I will be here for you both too!  

Hugs and wishing you the best!
Linda

[jdwithhcv]

Hair is important!  It helps if you feel SOMETHING is under control.  

4C, you go girl.  I'm about to cave in and color whats left of mine, right in the middle of tx.  Call me defiant, but the gray roots make it appear even thinner than it is.  If its gonna fall out anyhow, at least it will be brown when it does.

What I'd really like is to have a pedicure, but I don't quite dare.

[Forseegood]

okay, so I'm a silly broad sometimes....how many women with Albert Einstein hair have YOU dated:))