Need help with general questions/concerns

[steven129]

I really don't know anything about this. Before my wife and I got serious I was tested for everything and came up negative. She gets cold sores sometimes but I have never had one. Just this week I noticed 2 small raised scabs near the tip of my penis. My wife had given me oral about 2 weeks ago but showed no signs of an outbreak. The scabs now look like pimples/blisters that when I bathe, look like wet ulcers. I believe that this must be Herpes. She has never been tested to learn what type she has and I was re-tested today. I am now feeling discomfort around my pubic regiion above my penis and think that this must be spreading because of the ulcers/sores. I don't know if that can happen or not, but it seems pretty suspicious. I don't know if there is any special soaps that I must use while washing myself or a special laundry detergent that I need to use to avoid spreading this. I assume that I must use a separate towel to wash and dry my genitel region and the rest of my body, and not let her use the same towel to dry off as I. Can anyone help with these questions and/or direct me to a resource that answers this type of general questions involving daily activities. I know that we will have to use a condom from here on out to avoid spreading it to her genetile region, and I guess we will have to use fertility methods to concieve. I really don't want to put her through any added stress with a genetile std. I know that it can spread with no signs of an outbreak. I will have the test results in 3 days; this is very stressful especially because we just started trying to concieve. Any help will be geatly appreciated.

[gracefromHHP]

everyone is a household should have their own towel, washcloth, toothbrush and razor. they shouldn't be shared since many common germs are easily transmitted through sharing them!!  herpes isn't likely to be transmitted through sharing them but it's a general good hygiene recommendation.

at this point, you need seen to find out what is going on if you didn't already. Your symptoms might be herpes but typically if you contract hsv1 genitally, you present with very classic and painful symptoms and yours aren't presenting that way. no sex of course until you find out what is going on. meanwhile, be sure to talk to your wife about this too. Being open and honest from the gitgo will keep her from thinking you are hiding this due to another partner being the cause!

if this is herpes, absolutely NOTHING different you need to do. Just dry off your genitals last. no need for different towels though in general you should use a different wash cloth for your face than for the rest of your body.  

grace

[AzaleaSea]

Hi there. I'm not a doctor, but maybe I can offer some insight.

It's probably best to wait for test results to see what's going on.
However, HSV-1 (coldsore type) can be transmitted to the genital regions, if you have never had HSV-1 orally (and most of the population does).

If this is the case with you (and you don't know yet what it is)... but if it is HSV-1 genitally, then you cannot spread HSV-1 to her genitals if she already has HSV-1 orally.
She is immune from getting it again somewhere else on her body. So that's one less concern for you. :)

It's really not that big a deal and I doubt that you have to change anything, or much, at all in this scenario "IF" it is hsv-1.
However, best thing to do, is wait for the test results so that you know whether it is herpes in the first place or not, and if it is, what type it is. I think the type may be important here.
From what I know, IGG type specific testing is what you want and not IgM.

Maybe your wife should get tested too, if she has never been tested for either HSV-1 or 2 previously.
I know that people get "tested for everything", but this is usually not the case. Herpes tests generally need to be requested and are not always included in normal std screening. You're not clear on whether or not this was done.

I don't know of any soap or laundry detergents that are better or worse than any others when it comes to herpes. I have never heard of any that are better/worse for reducing chances of transmission either. I think if people change these types of things at all, it's most likely for comfort reasons during an outbreak more than anything else?

I hope Grace answers this one, she's a fountain of very useful and accurate info.