actually you just don't seem to understand oral herpes from the sounds of things. when you were infected with hsv1 orally, it infected the entire trigeminal nerve in the facial area. It's completely normal to have cold sores anywhere from the cheek area down on your face. The virus can even migrate up your facial nerves into the eye area. It's not you spreading the virus around, it's the way the virus normally behaves. you touching a cold sore and then another spot, isn't going to spread the virus or cause another cold sore to pop out there. You spread bacterial infections like that on the face, not herpes. same as once you have hsv1 orally, it's highly unlikely that you'd contract it genitally. It's not 100% protection from genital hsv1 but pretty darn close. same as if you both have hsv1 orally, you won't trigger recurrences in him or vice versa. plenty of posts on this from Terri warren , medhelp's herpes expert as well as Dr's handsfield and Hook, medhelps std experts , if you want to search the archives on their forums to confirm what I've told you.
if neither of you have ever been screened for hsv2 and have had partners prior to each other, still a good idea to screen for it , especially if you plan on having a family at some point. you would be together for a lifetime and not have hsv2 transmitted if one of you has it but the odds of that are best if the infected partner is aware of their infection. It's not always something transmitted early in a relationship.
keep asking questions!
Thanks again for the advice about the pink spot. I disagree with you on some other topics, though.
I know if he has HSV1, I can't give it to him again. However, even if we both have HSV1, we still need to worry. If one of us touches our cold sore to the other, it could cause the other to get a cold sore there (including genitals - you CAN get HSV1 cold sores on your genitals). Just like you can spread cold sores to other parts of your own body (I've only had them on my chin and lip, but if I touched a cold sore and then picked my nose, you can bet I'd get one in my nose some day). That's why I wouldn't risk kissing him with a cold sore even if he had HSV1.
As for HSV2, we have been together for 10 years and neither one of us has ever had an outbreak.
you and your bf can't make educated decisions about precautions until you know who has what. if he has hsv1, you don't need to be worrying about transmission to him - either orally or genitally. If he has hsv2 and doesn't know it ( like 90% of folks with hsv2 don't ), you need to be taking precautions to protect yourself! even though you've had few cold sores in your life, you still shed the virus periodically so you should be discussing together what precautions to take based on both of your statuses. if you've never been tested for hsv2, you should get a hsv2 igg yourself too.
once the scab falls off, the virus isn't likely to be active any more. the older you get, the longer it will take for those lingering discolored areas to fade :(
Thanks for responding so fast! No, my bf hasn't been tested. I've kissed him before when I didn't realize I was in prodrome (not counting this latest unknown thing, I've only had 3 sores in 35 years, so I'm not very good at recognizing the signs of one coming on). So, I have a feeling he has it and is just one of those lucky people to not ever get cold sores. I just don't want to risk it, and especially don't want to engage in oral sex when I am contagious.
I thought that the pink spot means it's still contagious b/c the cells are still regenerating/replacing the herpes cells. But I've never had the pink spot last so long, so you're probably right that I'm safe now.
no way now to know if this was herpes or something else.
the remaining pink mark, if this was herpes, isn't a sign that you are still contagious.
has your bf been tested to know his own herpes status?
grace