Genital hsv 1. What am I dealing with?

[concernedbf123]

Hi All,

So my girlfriend just told me she has genital hsv 1. What am I dealing with here? Should I be concerned?

She referred me to this site if I had any questions and I have been reading up on some information and from the looks of it I shouldnt be concerned as it rarely sheds. How accurate it this?

I am a little concerned because the forums also state that there is a risk but its highly unlikely to spread from genital to genital but what about oral? Am I at risk for catching it orally?

I have been tested previously and am negative for both types of hsv. I always make sure I am tested for everything. I really love this girl and have know her since freshman year in college she is 23 and I am 26. I care about her so much but I'm not sure i want to contract this although she definitely defines and has everytihng I want in a woman. Can someone tell me what genital hsv 1 is and what it does to the body? Am I safe to have unprotected sex with her? We have always used condoms but after shes told me I've been a little less spontaneous in fear that I might contract her hsv 1.

I really dont want her to feel like Im pushing her away but its hard not to feel scared about this.

Is it really just a skin condition?
How come I have not acquired this yet? I have dated a handful of women and none have told me about any type of hsv 1. My gf said everyone has it in the form of cold sores on their mouths but to my knowledge I have not seen anyone with cold sores.

Can someone shed some light as I am very concerned and do not want to leave her without knowing the facts or what I will be dealing with.

[catinbarefeet]

Lots of good questions. I'll try to catch everything:

Yes, according to Anna Wald and Terri Warren, there's a good indication that there are "low shedders," but there's no way to guarantee any of us will fall into these categories.

I'm afraid I can't help you with the correlation between the number of visible outbreaks and the shedding rate. I don't recall reading a study that reports an official statistic that connects the two. You are correct - it's the same virus below as above. There is evidence, however, that HSV-1 sheds much less below the waist than it does above, as above is its site of preference. So you'd be at greater risk from contracting the virus genitally via oral sex from someone with oral H1 than you would from intercourse with someone with only genital H1.

In the end, to me, the stats don't matter. All it takes is one time for everything to line up. Asymptomatic shedding is the way the virus is mostly spread.

However! More than half the population has HSV-1. You've certainly kissed lots of girls who have the virus. Unfortunately, according to Terri Warren, up to 90% of people who have either type don't know, because they don't have or don't recognize symptoms.

It's possible your gal has the virus orally, but I suspect that if she does, she acquired it during the same sexual event, or within the 4 months following, before she'd developed enough antibodies to block re-infection in the rest of her body. According to Anna Wald and Terri Warren, once you've achieved "immunity," which occurs sometime after the 4 month mark or so, you are highly unlikely to re-contract the same HSV type anywhere else on your body. We could probably say you definitely won't, but the experts don't like to speak in absolutes.

What this means is that an IgG type-specific blood test for yourself may very well solve everything in one fell swoop. I'd start there. In fact ask your doctor to request they look for both HSV types, just to cover all the bases. If you also have HSV-1, you can just stop worrying.

On top of that, she appears to be taking every step necessary to reduce the risk of transmission to you. In the Valtrex study, the rate of acquisition in couples who were both on suppressive therapy and used a condom faithfully had a zero percent transmission rate. It wasn't the hugest field of enrollees, and we never want to say "zero percent," but in my view this was pretty encouraging result.

You've outlined pretty much every reason to go for it with your gal. Lots of folks are in serodiscordant relationships, happy, healthy, married with kids. I can't see any good reason to let go of a woman who you clearly feel could be worth any risk as miniscule as the one you have. She is far more than her STD status. And finally, you're so much safer with her than with someone else who isn't as aware about these issues as your gal clearly is.

Go get that test and let us know what happens. Best wishes to the both of you!

[AnotherconcBF]

Thank you so much for your reply and information.

If you could just read what is below and offer any insight that may possibly lesson my stress and worries about this, by god you are a saint.

I have been having a real battle trying to figure out what to do about this, as well as putting this situation and virus into perspective.

I am not afraid of this virus because in the grand scheme of things it is a relatively insignificant infection. i am more so afraid of contracting this virus and then things not working out between the two of us. I am afraid that it will hinder my abilities to find another woman due to the overall social perspective of the virus.

I am guilty of being very ignorant on the subject, because like most of us we are taught to fear STDs in high school/sexED cources etc. I am even guilty of advising a friend to stay away from someone who had openly told him she had HSV... And now for this i feel so terrible and wish i could take back everything i said to him.

If i were to contract this virus from her and we lived happily ever after, then by god i could give two shizz about the virus. Its my fear of contracting it and it not working out that worries me most...

I personally have never seen a cold sore ever in my life, or rather i have never seen anything of sheer significance on someones lip to make me think it was a cold sore. I think my best friend dated a girl who may or may not of had a cold sore every now again, but he doesn't show any signs of cold sores...

If the girl im dating had told me she had a cold sore on her lip at one point in her life say 4 years ago? how would i feel about it? idk what i would think... i would probably be like "cold sore? once? NBD?" and probably would have carried on a relationship with her with no second thoughts...

So should i really look at this any differently from that scenario?

Facts are simple... she has the same exact virus that causes cold sores, only it's in a different region of her body, and it so happens to be her sex organs... She had 1 outbreak... her first and only 4 years ago. Is it really any different than having a coldsore on her lip?

She contracted it from a guy who went down on her with a cold sore... but that tells me she must of kissed him before all this right? so why doesnt she have HSV1 orally as well? (she has never had a cold sore orally)

But then at the same time, i keep telling myself that i could very well have this virus already... I talked to my dad about this. he said he hasnt known of anyone in our family to have a cold sores. but ive kissed a "fair" share of girls in my day... never one with a cold sore i believe.

Any who...

I have not had sex with her yet. I am not that sexually active... never have been because i have always looked for someone to spend the rest of my life with. I have never had sex with anyone i didnt think at one point i would want to spend the rest of my life with. 2 people my whole life and I am 2 years out of college. I really just want to do the right thing here, and i don't want to make any decision i regret...

The most frustrating part about all this is not knowing exactly what i am dealing with. Its the lack of sufficient  information that is bothering the hell out of me. Ive read so much about this and yet nothing is ever set it stone...

So say i don't carry it... that means i can contract it still... She has HSV1 vaginally... She has had ONE initial outbreak 4 years ago, nothing else... The virus supposedly sheds 5% of days roughly 18 days a year. She takes oral meds which supposedly reduces shedding/obs 50%, 18 days now to 9 days... If i use a condom that reduces transmission supposedly by 30% even lessening the likelihood of transmission. 4 years have gone by since her initial and only ob... meaning her body has probably continued to build antibodies which supposedly even more so lessons the likelihood of shedding...

And say we conducted a moderately healthy sexual relationship, sex 1-3 times a week, the odds are pretty damn good that ill never contract the virus wouldn't ya say?

I pretty dag on good immune system should help too wouldnt you say?

Say i carry the virus orally and have never had an OB... the odds of me contracting it genitally decrease even more so...

Also she could very well be one of these "non shedders" and the virus could possibly be dormant for the rest of her life? This possibility has never been ruled out... has there been any indication of the virus doing such a thing above the waste? meaning maybe you had a cold sore when you were a child and then it lay dormant for the rest of life? Has there ever been cases of people contracting the virus and then having no outbreaks or even shed? this has to be a possibility.

I also read something somewhere that the amount of shedding is directly correlated to the amount of OBs a person has...

The frustration with this virus... i tell ya...

I have never been tested for the virus... have never felt the need until now... we have fooled around a couple of times, no oral sex or intercourse... our privates may have briefly brushed together but that's about it.

I apologize for my writing... its more like a series of thoughts than a proper blog post haha.

Thanks again "catinbarefeet" and anyone else who responds...

I feel for all those who carry this virus... live your lives and be happy with who you are. There is someone out there for all of you.

I still dont know what i am going to do about my situation. I could very well continue to see her, who knows maybe i will marry her... But in the end, everything is gonna be alright.

[catinbarefeet]

Hi AnotherconcBF -

1. No, not definitely. However there is still a risk, however small. The condoms only provide about 30% protection. If she knows she's having symptoms, you should both abstain from sexual contact. But the most important thing is that she since is on suppressive therapy, which has been found by research to reduce the risk of transmission 50%, she's doing pretty much everything she can to reduce the risk to you. At least one expert believes that these protections are additive, though it's also possible they overlap somewhat.

2. Yes, you can receive the virus orally if you go down on her without using a barrier. However, genital HSV-1 does not shed as much as genital HSV-2. Nonetheless, all it takes is one time for the virus to possibly transmit. The bigger caveat is this: according to Anna Wald at the University of Washington, about 65% of the population has HSV-1, either above or below (or both). Are you sure you don't already have HSV-1 - have you ever been tested for the antibodies?

3. I have not found any hard research that reports that shedding reduces over time (this is not to say there isn't any). What we know is that for most of us, active outbreaks (lesions) do decrease as the body generates more antibodies and learns to fight the virus better. It isn't possible to know whether we are shedding or not, when there are no symptoms to guide us.

It is also not possible to know whether we have or have not passed it on to a non-H partner who has exhibited no symptoms, unless they get tested 4 months or so after the relationship ends. However, another caveat: based on the official studies, Dr. Wald hypothesizes that there are indeed "low shedders" who may unwittingly enjoy a very low incidence of viral activity that helps prevent transmission. However, there is no way to guarantee that any of us fall into that category, or that any "low shedders" are actually "non-shedders."

4. The virus does not discriminate between the genders. Even if it were true that women have a higher incidence of contracting gHSV1 through intercourse, there is no research that indicates men never contract it that way.

In conclusion, my friend, if your gal is worth the risk, I say take it. The two of you appear to have made all the right decisions with regard to reducing the risk of transmission. Suppressive (daily) antiviral therapy, barrier/condom use, abstention from sexual contact during symptoms, and full disclosure are the steps that encompass the best risk reduction we have available. According to Dr. Wald, about 75% of the population has either or both types of herpes simplex, and about 65% have what your gal has. You might too - go get an IgG type-specific blood test (or better yet, ask for the Western Blot - 99% accuracy) and find out!

[AnotherconcBF]

Hi everyone, thank you all for such an informative thread. After reading this and others, as well as talking to a urologist about HSV1, I am feeling much better about pursuing a relationship with this girl I really like who has told me she had gentialhsv1. I do have a few questions that I think some of you could help answer and that I don't think have been covered in this thread.

1. If I do have sex with her and she is shedding, does that mean I will definitely contract it even with a condom?

2. What are my risks if I were to go down on her?

3. She claims she has never given it to anyone, she is on oral medication, and has not had an out break since the initial. My question is, do these shedding instances decrease over time? Can these shedding instances eventually stop? She contracted it 4-5 years ago.

4. What are the risks of passing HSV1 genital to genital, more specifically from female to male? Has any guy out there contracted hsv1 genitally from having intercourse? I've only read stories in here about females getting it from both oral sex and intercourse.

[catinbarefeet]

The original posted that his girlfriend has GENITAL HSV-1, not oral HSV-1, so yes, there is a possibility of transmission during sexual intercourse, and even during oral sex. Both Type 1 and Type 2 can live above or below the waist.

[juzWhyAmerica]

oh my freaking God is just a freakin cold sore if she had the ringworm you wouldn't rub up against her skin.... if she had a cold you wouldn't drink after her and if she had psoriasis dandruff you wouldnt to be licking her scalp! it's all about being aware of your bodies. .. HSV 1 yes its highly contagious if you do dumb s*** like when she has a cold sore you use her toothbrush or kiss her  
hell if she had the pink eye would you share pillows with her would you allow her to touch her eye and then touch you or your eye without washing her hands no its about using universal precautions just get educated
hsv-1 isn't that serious unless your not attentive unaware uneducated and reckless but that's everything in life