Had sex and didn't realize the outbreak was present

[emilyv1]

Really worried here. Last night had sex with my BF (knows my status) with a condom. Prior to that there was some finer play, and I felt a little pain, but thought it was just an irritation from the eve before. During sex (which didn't last long), there was some minor pain and then we stopped because the condom was bothering him. We continued to masturbate (separately) and he had the condom on at first then took it off. When I went to the bathroom after, I noticed red irritation and then about an hour and 1/2 a blister came out inside (almost hidden area) of labia/fourchet. Of course I went into a panic mode instantly. I'm terrified that a) the condom didn't cover him completely and somehow exposed him to the area b) perhaps some of it got on his hands and then he rub it in on himself after and off the condom. If someone had a similar experience, could you please let me know what happened? Did you partner get infected? What do you think the chances are? The blister didn't look erupted and is gone today (almost). Thank you. Appreciate any thoughts. I would be totally heartbroken if I gave it to him.  

[emilyv1]

Feelingundone, that was my thinking as well re: the medication. I've read enough materials to gather that there is absolutely no prove of Valtrex working to stop the virus on uninfected people. Sad that some doctors pass wrong information around. Thank you. I guess right now it's the waiting game (ie, torture). I hope you are so right!

[feelingundone]

The waiting game is a bummer but in all honesty I really believe he is fine. Condoms offer great protection. Knowing what I know, if i were your partner I wouldn't be concerned.

[emilyv1]

Thank you again!
I have a question about Valtrex. I'm on suppressive therapy (which clearly is not working 100% for me) and wanted to know if the medicine while not protecting from all outbreaks might potentially lower the strength of the virus? Meaning that even when it does break free, is it as potent as it would be without the meds? I can't find any studies on it. Thank you

[feelingundone]

Valtrex does decrease the amount of outbreaks. Usually doesn't eliminate them altogether. It does decrease shedding by more than 30%. It also can make the shedding less potent as there is less of it.
Try not to over think it. The risk was extremely low. I know how the mind plays tricks and worry and anxiety kick in. Medically the odds are OVERWHELMINGLY in his favor.

[emilyv1]

Hi, @feelingundone. Wanted to check back in. It's day 10 since the "accident" and no issues at all so far. He is not even worried and I am still a stressed mess! What's the time frame for the initial OB? I know everyone is so different, but on the average, is it around 1-3 weeks? Thank you for your help. I've read a few of your other posts, and I think it's really helpful for people to have someone like you bringing some rationale during their most confusing times.

[WellinformedPerson]

Assuming that was/is indeed a herpes blister, you may or may not realize it, but in order to infect someone the virus needs to be massaged into the skin, not merely placed on the skin. Sexual intercourse with its vigorous rubbing and friction helps massage the virus into the other person's skin. This is why it is called a sexually transmitted disease and not a casual-contact transmitted disease. The fact that your boyfriend wore a condom significantly lowers the odds he would have been infected. Also, transmission from masturbation using the infected persons fluids if it happens is uncommon. The odds are in your favor that you  did not infect him. But, if he knows your status, he must also know that he has a chance of catching hsv2. So, I am not sure why you are so distressed. You have done the morally responsible and ethically upstanding thing by telling him you have genital herpes. No matter what happens, he made the decision to have sex with you with full knowledge. You have done the right thing. Do not beat yourself up over this.

[emilyv1]

Thank you for responding! And I truly hope you are right about the odds. I've had HSV2 for 12 years now and they haven't been easy on me. So the thought of passing this "experience" to someone I care so much for is hurting me...probably more than him.

[emilyv1]

I meant "it hasn't been easy"

[emilyv1]

My doctor just recommended for him to take valtrex in hopes to prevent him from getting the virus. I thought Valtrex doesn't work on uninfected people?

[feelingundone]

It doesn't. It can make a primary less severe and prolong a positive test but that's it. That was bad advice from your dr and I do not recommend he take tbe meds. His chances of contraction are extremely low. New studies suggest condoms are 95% effective. I honestly wouldn't be overly concerned.