How Much Of A Risk?

[veryworried420]

7 weeks into a torrid relationship with someone I really like, she tells me that in 2001 she was diagnosed with genital herpes. Has not had a positive test result since then and was tested negative 2 months ago. Her doctor said she is inactive now but will always have it. So she says its OK if I wanted to stop seeing her.  Why she didn't tell me before we become intimate is unclear. Fear of rejection probably. I'm hooked like a fish and can't move on. So my questions are:

1. How much of a risk am I taking continuing to date her?  Her ex-husband tested negative a few months ago.
2. Is it dumb to stop dating her considering I've already been exposed? i.e. the deed is done

[gracefromHHP]

at this point, no easy way to know if her original lesion culture was typed or not to double check . she can consider pursing a herpes WB blood test to confirm her status. a small percentage of folks will not test accurately on the blood tests we currently offer and we rely on lesion cultures and typing to confirm their status.  odds are the records aren't around now to know if her lesion culture was typed for hsv2 or just + for herpes and assumed hsv2 since genital.  at this point you should proceed as if she does have hsv2 an discuss what precautions you want to take together.  odds are you always in your favor that you won't contract hsv2 from her but the more precautions you take, the more likely you are to stay negative.  

[veryworried420]

She had a lesion culture and tested positive for HSV-2. As I said, she was recently blood tested for it and was negative. The 1 lesion she had was removed 12 years ago. She has not been on any drugs to fight it. But her ex-husband and his wife are on drugs for it.

I did the full panel test in Feb 2013 and was negative for everything. I know I have to wait 3 months from exposure to get tested for herpes.

So my question remains: Is it too late? We had un-safe sex after trying safe sex and not enjoying it. Should we go back to safe sex to prevent exposure or am I already probably infected?  I have to admit that I got the leg tingling recently which some guys mentioned here. Was wondering what it was. No rash or sores yet.

[gracefromHHP]

unfortunately it appears that her provider has given her some rather erroneous information :(  I encourage you both to read the free herpes handbook that we recommend in our read before posting post. it will answer a lot of both of your questions.  herpes is never really inactive - it reactivates periodically whether you notice obvious symptoms or not.

questions to ask her are :
- how was she originally diagnosed? if it was a lesion culture, was it hsv1 or hsv2+?  
-what testing was recently negative?
-how does she treat her herpes?

have you been tested yet to know your own status?  you two can't make educated decisions about what precautions to take until you know who has what.

grace