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Just diagnosed HSV2; husband negative?
I was diagnosed with HSV2 and have had many partners over the past 20 years. When I was 19, I was called and accused of giving a boyfriend herpes which he then passed along to his girlfriend I was not aware of. He'd also been seeing someone else, who I think passed it along to him. I've never had an outbreak that I know of, and was also separated five years ago and had a few partners. I tested negative for HSV1.
My husband was tested for HSV2 two years ago, and was negative. I told him about my positive diagnosis, and he now wants to get tested. Neither of us have ever had an outbreak. I'm concerned that he is going to think that I have cheated on him in the past two years and that I have given him HSV2.
We primarily use condoms, but sometimes will "bareback" until he is close to orgasm and then he puts on a condom. Again, I've been asymptomatic, so I can't tell if I've had an outbreak.
How possible is it for me to have given him HSV2 since his last test two years ago? Am I going to be met with a barrage of questions about me cheating & acquiring the HSV2 in the past two years? I've read before that if you don't transmit the virus in the first two years or so, it's highly unlikely it will be passed after that.
Thank you so much.
My husband was tested for HSV2 two years ago, and was negative. I told him about my positive diagnosis, and he now wants to get tested. Neither of us have ever had an outbreak. I'm concerned that he is going to think that I have cheated on him in the past two years and that I have given him HSV2.
We primarily use condoms, but sometimes will "bareback" until he is close to orgasm and then he puts on a condom. Again, I've been asymptomatic, so I can't tell if I've had an outbreak.
How possible is it for me to have given him HSV2 since his last test two years ago? Am I going to be met with a barrage of questions about me cheating & acquiring the HSV2 in the past two years? I've read before that if you don't transmit the virus in the first two years or so, it's highly unlikely it will be passed after that.
Thank you so much.
Oh, wait! I never said he stepped out. He asked an "interesting" question, which has led me to remember that he could be a possibility. Sorry about that. I just am being realistic in not ruling him out, although I've never seen a bump or sore on him ever.
- L
- L
He accuses you of cheating, and he is the one stepping out on YOU?
Yeesh. Talk about transference.
Yeesh. Talk about transference.
OK - I will get the LabCorp results and post them here. Thanks for the info on the Valtrex study. I'll wait to see what his results are when he tests. It won't be anytime soon, but he's stated at his next physical he will get tested.
We've been together for 13 years, and I did tell him about the phone call with the ex and that I'd always wondered if I had it - obviously, I was exposed. He is VERY insecure and very suspicious, especially sexually. I've had a long and varied sexual history (but with no STDs aside from the HSV2), and he has had very little sexual experience outside of our marriage. In 10/2007, he accused me of putting ads up on CL for sex and even brought one home he thought was me! Of course, the question was "why were you there in the first place?" I have definitely considered the possibility that he gave it to me, too, after cheating in the past two years. He asked a very odd question like, "Can you get herpes from oral sex?" which made me wonder...
As you can see, there are a few more dynamics going on. I truly think that I've had this for 15-16 years, but could have gotten it five years ago during our separation.
Thanks!
- L
We've been together for 13 years, and I did tell him about the phone call with the ex and that I'd always wondered if I had it - obviously, I was exposed. He is VERY insecure and very suspicious, especially sexually. I've had a long and varied sexual history (but with no STDs aside from the HSV2), and he has had very little sexual experience outside of our marriage. In 10/2007, he accused me of putting ads up on CL for sex and even brought one home he thought was me! Of course, the question was "why were you there in the first place?" I have definitely considered the possibility that he gave it to me, too, after cheating in the past two years. He asked a very odd question like, "Can you get herpes from oral sex?" which made me wonder...
As you can see, there are a few more dynamics going on. I truly think that I've had this for 15-16 years, but could have gotten it five years ago during our separation.
Thanks!
- L
I'll gladly look at your hsv2 results for you if you want to make sure you don't need additional confirmatory testing done. Just post the actual results - ie hsv2 igg 2.2 or whatever they are.
So what are the odds of hubby being hsv2+ now? Well you two don't really take any precautions and you aren't having any obvious lesions that you are aware of to avoid sex during them so it's pretty much a coin toss at this point to be honest.
You told your husband up front that you thought you had genital herpes. Why in the world would you think he'd accuse you of cheating at this point if he tested + for hsv2?
grace
So what are the odds of hubby being hsv2+ now? Well you two don't really take any precautions and you aren't having any obvious lesions that you are aware of to avoid sex during them so it's pretty much a coin toss at this point to be honest.
You told your husband up front that you thought you had genital herpes. Why in the world would you think he'd accuse you of cheating at this point if he tested + for hsv2?
grace
The info posted came from the valtrex and transmission study. It showed that most folks transmit during the first 2 years of being infected and/or during the first 2 years of a new relationship. It doesn't mean that you won't transmit after that - just points out that odds are highest during that time. It makes sense too since for most of us, after the 1st 2 years of a relationship either the sex decreases in frequency because of the newness wearing off or kids have come into the picture and you are just far too exhausted to have sex as often as you used to...he he he.
grace
grace
HSV2posOK Wrote:
I've read before that if you don't transmit the virus in the first two years or so, it's highly unlikely it will be passed after that.
Does anyone know the facts on this or if there is any data about this? GRACE??? I'd really like to know.
I've read before that if you don't transmit the virus in the first two years or so, it's highly unlikely it will be passed after that.
Does anyone know the facts on this or if there is any data about this? GRACE??? I'd really like to know.
Yes, I was reading the stats from the CDC that 1 in 4 women has it, and 1 in 8 men. They suspect that the reason less men have it is due to the lower instance of female-to-male transmission.
We were separated five years ago and I had a few sexual partners at that time. Then, with the exception of one partner, I always practiced safe sex. Prior to us getting together (13 years ago), condoms were used off and on. I feel that the chances are fairly low that I got it five years ago when I was separated and it was more likely 13-20 years ago, but who knows? Regardless of when I got during those time spans, I have HSV2.
My question was how likely is he to have gotten it from me in the last 2 years since he's tested negative for it if I've had it for that long? He's VERY insecure, and said he will be tested. Prior to that test, he accused me of being online and looking for men, etc. I have have not been with anyone since our separation five years ago, but if he comes back positive I can see it becoming a major issue!
Thanks.
We were separated five years ago and I had a few sexual partners at that time. Then, with the exception of one partner, I always practiced safe sex. Prior to us getting together (13 years ago), condoms were used off and on. I feel that the chances are fairly low that I got it five years ago when I was separated and it was more likely 13-20 years ago, but who knows? Regardless of when I got during those time spans, I have HSV2.
My question was how likely is he to have gotten it from me in the last 2 years since he's tested negative for it if I've had it for that long? He's VERY insecure, and said he will be tested. Prior to that test, he accused me of being online and looking for men, etc. I have have not been with anyone since our separation five years ago, but if he comes back positive I can see it becoming a major issue!
Thanks.
I'd want to know the results of the testing since you've never had symptoms.
There have to be tons of people bringing HSV2 into marriages thatwas acquired prior to the marriage. This virus is really common and most people don't know they have it.
I'd be curious to know the results of your husband's test if you wouldn't mind posting them here. Do you really think he'll freak out?
There have to be tons of people bringing HSV2 into marriages thatwas acquired prior to the marriage. This virus is really common and most people don't know they have it.
I'd be curious to know the results of your husband's test if you wouldn't mind posting them here. Do you really think he'll freak out?
I took a blood test for HSV1 and HSV2. I came back negative for HSV1, but positive for HSV2.
Thanks.
- L
Thanks.
- L
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
