Just 'diagnosed'

[trev1972]

Hi all

I recently split up with my partner of 5 years (8 days ago).

I didnt know she had coldsores until 6 months into the relationship when she had an outbreak..
at the time i wasnt too happy, since to my knowledge i didnt have the virus

She has had it since a child orally, and said outbreaks used to be terrible but are rare now (based on this it seems certain its hsv 1)

I knew the risks and it was my decision to keep in the relationship and still have oral sex etc- we got tested for all standard std's early on.. so our only precautions were the pill and avoiding intimacy during an outbreak

Anyway the last few days ive had genital irritation so went to my gp today who told me it looks like HSV

Presumably its from asymptomatic shedding as we avoided intimacy

He has given me a lot of acyclovair to take (over 1g a day) and said it may make me feel ill as its a high dose, but that as its a first presentation it may kill it dead.. that goes against everything ive been taught though.

So i have three questions if i may?

My ex has been having gynae issues herself

1) Am i correct in saying that there is zero risk of me somehow being infected by her then re-infecting her genitally? Its the exact same virus but a different location so surely it cant affect her?

If we got back together there would be no risk to her? (this is up in the air)

2) I am unsure how i will handle this when dating again.. on a first date announcing i have genital hsv-1 doesnt appeal but ill have to be honest about it

I THINK that if someone has HSV-1 orally then they cant catch HSV-1 genitally later- am i correct?

It would at least be something reassuring to tell future partners.

3) Is it true that genital hsv-1 tends to be less frequently occuring than genital hsv-2 or is that an old wives tale?

4) I know theoretically i could have had the virus before i met her (over 5 years ago) and its just a coincedence that now at 42 years of age im having my first OB, but this seems unlikely?

Thanks

[Life360_Dave]

Thats good and that what i suspected as well. Just keep an eye out for any new sores as now we have 2 visuals, one says yes and the other says no but only testing would confirm your status.

[trev1972]

well it looks like my doc was wrong

i went to the gum clinic (in the uk its a clinic that specialises in genito urinary issues

and he said its just dry skin, i asked about herpes and he just said it isnt herpes! its dry skin you need aqueous cream

i asked about a swab and he said theres nothing to swab its dry skin...

[Life360_Dave]

The way you would get genital herpes is by her giving you oral sex if she has hsv oral. In regards to shedding, tests show hsv1 oral sheds 9-18% of the days evaluated.

[trev1972]

thanks for the responses

im not even sure he is right...there are no blisters i can see at all (no open sores at all)

he had a student when he examined me.

so i heard their discussion

now... when he did it all he initially said to the student everything looks ok, just a bit red

so i said to him is everything ok and he said 'yes'!!!

it was when he questioned me more about partners etc ..and it came out that partner gets them, he latched onto it and decided that was it and prescribed acyclovir

he told me some rubbish about how that can get rid of it if a primary infection

and when i said it doesnt look like coldsores, he said well theres no chancres but with history i think thats what it is...and got annoyed and basically told me to get onto acyclovir asap

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, visual diagnoses is not the accurate way to determine hereps. You need to have a swab of the sore to determine this. If the sore is not swabbed to verify if this is herpes, a blood test in 3 months will not say if its genital if positive. Talk to your doctor or see a differnt one. Swabbing a newly developed sore is critical.
1. its not zero risk but pretty close to zero that.
2. not completely, its very rare but possible.
3. yes its true
4. oral yes, genital not really.