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Avatar universal

Questions about dubious HSV info from former dating partner

I have learned a lot lately about HSV and I"m still confused. I had sex with someone who I had forgotten was a boyfriend of one of my roommates about 11 years ago. I didn't forget that, but forgot that she came down with a genital herpes infection after dating just him for two years.

One night I did not have protected sex with this man and about two days later I had some burning sense of irritation. I went to the doctor and they could find no sores and no other infections. I got a blood test anyway and tested positive for HSV1, which I knew I had, but negative for HSV2.

I was told by someone who has done a lot of research that if you had HSV1 mouth sores s a kid, your chance of getting type 2 is lowered as well as getting genital HSV1.

Anyway, when I brought it up to this man, he became very belligerent and defensive after I asked him about his STD status and told me to contact his ex already, which I did. She was pissed of that he had told me she did not have herpes for sure when the doctor told her she tested positive for HSV1 and taht her sores were HSV related. As well, he told her that that type can transfer to the genital area. She never had cold sores on her mouth though, and this man said he never got those either.

So how did she get it only sleeping with him? Was he most likely lying? did she get it years before and the OB was happening years later?

His beligerence towards me and dishonesty about what his ex had didn't go over well with me and I stopped dating him. He went on and on about he gets tested every six months but said he couldn't find the results he had somewhere around there.  

Then he tells me every now and again he gets some pimple-like bumps on his penis but a dermatologist told him it was not an STD.

I found out from a mutual friend that he had heard unconfirmed rumors that this man does have an STD and is not very forthcoming about it. However, I don't know if that is true, being that this person has an ax to grind with him.

With all the confusion and how long this virus can live in the body before manifesting on the surface, I don't know what to believe. But I am staying away from this man after how he handled things and the dubious info he tried to give me, along with the denial and anger he was in from over ten years ago until now.

I tried to explain how HSV works and he acted like I was insulting his intelligence.

Is it most likely that his ex with HSV-1 genitally got it from him after dating just him for two years? She said she has had only three outbreaks since the first one and a doctor told her there is a blurring of distinction between the types anymore.

Please let me know what you think of this case I went through. As far as my irritation, I think I was just irritation from sex. I have chronic pain issues and bladder pain on and off but who knows. I was proactive and went to the doctor. I figured if I was having an outbreak with no sores, the blood test would be positive for HSV-2.

Thank you.
2 Responses
101028 tn?1419606604
I removed your other post that you posted in the wrong post accidentally for you.

your friend needs to be pursuing repeat herpes igg blood testing to see what her status is if she's never repeated it from her initial infection. she very well could've tested too early. if she's still only hsv1+, if she had a lesion culture that was + for herpes but not typed, she can assume it was hsv1 genitally. If she never had a lesion culture come back positive either, she should be seen promptly next time she has symptoms for a culture to confirm indeed it is hsv1 genitally.

as for yourself, if your testing wasn't done at least 3 months after you last had any sexual contact with this person, you need to repeat your herpes igg blood testing at that time to err on the side of caution. be sure to cover all other std testing bases too - chlamydia, gonorrhea, trich any time after 1 week after you last had sex. syphilis after 6 weeks. hiv, herpes and hepatitis after 3 months.

hsv1 genitally is typically transmitted from oral to genital contact. most people who have hsv1 orally, don't get obvious cold sores to know their status. you can transmit hsv1 even when obvious cold sores aren't present.  

sounds like you made the right call about this guy. sure it's a nuisance to deal with std testing but it shows that you care about someone when you take the time to test and/or show test results when asked about them.  It's important to protect your own health and your partners in a relationship :)

Avatar universal
Thank you, Grace. I've been meaning to log back in for quite a while and thank you for your response and information. I have chronic fatigue and put things off for a while or run out of energy to complete conversations sometimes.....so sorry for late response.

I will go ahead and get tested again then. I have printed out what you told me so I don't forget.

I realized this person was a narcissist and possibly even a sociopath and that nothing he said could be trusted really. I'm back to celibacy until I can have an adult relationships again. That was too scary.

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