can I contract herpes when no cold sores are present?

[mendoj]

I've been talking to someone via email for a while, and things are heating up a little, and the possibility of being intimate with this person is there, and the subject of stds came up, and they were honest and told me this:
"I have had cold sores for 31 years. They appeared when I was around 26 yo.
I take Lysine every day to help prevent them, and I'm usually able to. But sometimes I get so stressed that they make an appearance. Usually losing money. But with a combo of Abreva, and Peroxide I can usually have it(them)under control within 4-5 days. I am proactive in destroying the weeping, and then I usually rip the skin off. The healing begins.
I stay sexually inactive for 2 weeks. It would devastate me if I infected anyone by carelessness. Because this happened by a significant other, I have been vigilant.
So lets say I had one. I would write you, and say I am unavailable. That is how I have dealt with this for the last thirty years."


O.k I know the risk is lower, but couldn't I still contract herpes from simply kissing this person, even with out cold sores being present? I know for a fcat that I don't have any std's right now.....did a full panel a while back and came back negative.

[mendoj]

Thanks for the reply! Yes, it did include HSV 1 & 2. Still seems wrong to engage in sex with someone who I know has herpes, even though they seem careful, like you said. No risk is better than some risk, but it's a tough call for me, because I want to have sex with this person.

[NewAtThis984]

You can contract without an obvious cold sore.  While it is most likely to transmit with an obvious sore present it is also very contagious right before and after they appear, durring the shedding stage.  I would assume that if this person has been dealing with this for so long though he/she would know the warning signs though.  While much less likely it is possible to pick up the virus at any point though.  To help put it in perspective I have been with the same person for over three years who occasionly deals with cold sores and we are careful and I never (to my knowledge) dealt with an oral sore.  So don't let this discourage you too much, it sounds like this person is very careful.  I am assuming your full panel did include a blood test for HSV-1 and HSV-2?  I just ask since these are often not included in standard screenings.  Hope this helps!