Very very weird situation...not sure what to do

[williamcarroll]

I recently started dating this very nice girl and after a while we had sex...both oral and genital...I wore a condom...but did give her oral.

A few weeks after we started sleeping together she got a severe yeast infection...then a few days later she got a few small blisters on her vagina that turned out to be HSV-1...she was tested by her Dr.  It seemed like she had a typical "initial outbreak"...she had body aches...a few small blisters...serious stomach pain...and itching.

I then decided to get tested myself and my results came back negative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2.

I feel really guilty because it appeared like I was the one that infected her because of the timing of everything...she had what appeared to be here "initial outbreak" very soon after being with me...but my results came back negative.  I asked the Dr. was he positive and he said yes.

Is it possible I really didn't give her HSV-1 and that she had it before me?  I feel horrible...but my results came back negative.

Also, since I am negative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2...how should I proceed if I want to continue being intimate with her?  She is a great girl:)

Thank you for your help...I feel very bewildered by the whole thing.

[MarBara]

I had been infected by HSV-1 since I was 7 years old. Nobody else in my household back in Brazil was ever infected. I touched and I squeezed my labial herpes during my life time and none of my sisters and brothers ever got anything. I used to kiss my mom and she never got NOTHING. I had my daughter when I was 18 years old, I kissed her all the time, I breast-fed her for 1 year and 5 months.. MY DAUGHTER today is 22 years old and never had a blister in her beautiful lips.

I had few guys in my life and NONE OF THEM developed anything. I am being honest, I had long time relationships. I still talking to my ALL MY EXs....

I came to the States I met my husband for more than 12 years and IN THE DAY OF OUR WEDDING he told me he had GENITAL HERPES.  I didn't freaky because I had in my lips since childhood and nobody was ever infected or at least never developed the visible breakout.

Well, all 99% of our sex we used condoms, I WAS A BIT AFRAID TO HAVE STD IN MY BEAUTIFUL VAGINA.  But 3 years ago, I wanted to get another baby and I TOLD MY HUSBAND TO TAKE HIS 'VALTREX" 3 PILLS A DAY FOR AT LEAST 3 DAYS AND TAKE LYSINE AND EAT GOOD for the SPECIFIC DAY we could have sex without protection.

I GUESS THE SON OF THE ***** didn't take his pills AND SOME HOW I GOT INFECTED. I USED to look at his penis before the sex and he would swear that he was feeling ANYTHING STRANGE.

This week I got a herpes in my vagina AND THIS HSV-2 ( I believe I have now) IS NOT THE SAME AS THE VIRUS ON THE LIPS.. I saw it different although I saw few blisters and those blisters ONLY LASTED 3 HOURS. I called my doc and next day I went to see it and I am waiting for my testes.

Now I am worrying because I am about to leave my husband since I never could get pregnant and I am HATING HIM SO MUCH.

Since January I am trying to go back with an old bodyfriend that I had before my husband.

I am planing in treat myself well, take lots of anti-viral herbs as decoction, manage my stress, make my immune system strong,  TAKE PRESCRIPTION valtrex or other stronger pills OFTEN , wash my vagina with anti-viral products, really do my best for NEVER INFECT this person who I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

I NEVER INFECTED anybody with my HSV-1, I just hope I am lucky in this new adventure. I am SAD not only for myself BUT AFRAID TO TRANSMIT IT to the man I love.

Good luck to all,

[petal130]

jonasK is correct. It does sound like it very well could be oral to genital transmission of oral herpes (of which I can vouch for from personal experience).

Also, to ladyinwhite, this person has been diagnosed with genital HSV-1. This is transmitted via oral to genital sex, or genital to genital sex, and while it's the same virus as oral HSV-1, it is not transmitted the same. What you wrote is information on oral HSV-1, not genital HSV-1.

Also, saying herpes is really contagious is not true. The chances of transmitting it from sharing a cup or utensils is extremely small. Simple hand-washing kills the virus. Hand washing in general is recommended to protect ourselves from much more than herpes - And saying to be sure and wash hands because someone in your presence has a cold sore is just the social stigma we should all ignore.

Autoinoculation - touching a herpes sore, and then touching/infecting another part of the body, is also very uncommon. Usually a person is infected orally and genitally at the time of infection, not at separate times. It just doesn't spread to other body parts when one has an outbreak.

You may want to become better informed about herpes. Here is a link to the Herpes Handbook. http://www.westoverheights.com/genital_herpes/handbook/view_the_chapters.html

Be sure you are posting accurate/factual information to others here, or if you aren't sure, just leave the post for someone else who does know.

[jonasK]

Also, the only way to know for sure if she has recently been infected, or if this is a reactivation of an earlier infection is for her to take an HSV blood test.  HSV-1 negative blood test result combined with HSV-1 swab/culture indicates new infection.  Possibly a low positive blood test result along with HSV-1 swab/culture would also indicate the same (the difference being by the time she gets the blood test, her body has already started making antibodies, but not a whole lot have been made yet), but you better get the resident expert's opinion on that one.

[jonasK]

Which test did you take?  HerpeSelect IgG?  The false negative rate on that is ~10%, if I recall correctly, meaning it falsely identifies as negative 1 in 10 HSV-1 infected people.  So it is possible that you have HSV-1.

Did the doctor use a swab/culture to determine that your gf has HSV-1 genitally?

[ladyinwhite]

i don't think you might gave the herpes to her, i think she already have the herpes before you to got together, 'coz your test turned out negative. read this:

HSV-1 is very common — if you have it, chances are you picked it up when you were a kid. Most people who are infected with the herpes simplex virus got it during their preschool years, most likely from close contact with someone who has it or getting kissed by an adult with the virus.

Although a person who has HSV-1 doesn't always have sores, the virus stays in the body and there's no permanent cure.

When someone gets infected with HSV-1, the virus makes its way through the skin and into a group of nerve cells called a ganglion (pronounced: gang-glee-in). The virus moves in here, takes a long snooze, and every now and then decides to wake up and cause a cold sore. But not everyone who gets the herpes simplex virus develops cold sores. In some people, the virus stays dormant (asleep) permanently.

What causes the virus to "wake up" or reactivate? The truth is, no one knows for sure. A person doesn't necessarily have to have a cold to get a cold sore — they can be brought on by other infections, fever, stress, sunlight, cold weather, hormone changes in menstruation or pregnancy, tooth extractions, and certain foods and drugs. In a lot of people, the cause is unpredictable.

Here's how a cold sore develops:

The herpes simplex virus-1, which has been lying dormant in the body, reactivates or "wakes up."
The virus travels toward the area where the cold sore decides to show up (like a person's lip) via the nerve endings.
The area below the skin's surface, where the cold sore is going to appear, starts to tingle, itch, or burn.
A red bump appears in the area about a day or so after the tingling.
The bump blisters and turns into a cold sore.
After a few days, the cold sore dries up and a yellow crust appears in its place.
The scab-like yellow crust falls off and leaves behind a pinkish area where it once was.
The redness fades away as the body heals and sends the herpes simplex virus back to "sleep."
Cold sores are really contagious. If you have a cold sore, it's very easy to infect another person with HSV-1. The virus spreads through direct contact — through skin contact or contact with oral or genital secretions (like through kissing). Although the virus is most contagious when a sore is present, it can still be passed on even if you can't see a sore. HSV-1 can also be spread by sharing a cup, eating utensils, or lip balm or lipstick with someone who has it.

In addition, if you or your partner gets cold sores on the mouth, the herpes simplex virus-1 can be transmitted during oral sex and cause herpes in the genital area.

Herpes simplex virus-1 also can spread if a person touches the cold sore and then touches a mucous membrane or an area of the skin with a cut on it. Mucous membranes are the moist, protective linings made of tissue that are found in certain areas of your body like your nose, eyes, mouth, and vagina. So it's best to not mess with a cold sore — don't pick, pinch, or squeeze it.

Actually, it's a good idea to not even touch active cold sores. If you do touch an active cold sore, don't touch other parts of your body. Be especially careful about touching your eyes — if it gets into the eyes, HSV-1 can cause a lot of damage. Wash your hands as soon as possible. In fact, if you have a cold sore or you're around someone with a cold sore, try to wash your hands frequently.

hope this helps. make sure to see a doctor after a month ok, to clear things out  if you got it or not, keep safe!