can he give me oral sex w/out getting herpes from me?

[scarlett_true]

I found out a alittle over a year ago that I had contracted genital herpes II from having unprotected sex with a partner.  A while after that, I met my current boyfriend with whom I just celebrated a year anniversary with.  I was honest with him up front and it freaked him out a bit at first.   Except for 2 times, he's always used a  condom during sex.  He would rather not, but he does.  I've had very few outbreaks.  Sometimes, I'm even sure it's  a herpes outbreak at all.  I've tried to do research but there's so many different views and opinions.  Basically, I can deal with him using a condom....but I really enjoy oral sex from a guy....I have a difficult time reaching orgasm during vaginal sex.  He wants to but he's afraid to.   How likely is it that he would contract herpes from performing oral sex on me when no symptoms are visible?  How likely is it that he would get it from me during vaginal sex without condom?  I want to discuss it with him, but I'd like to have some info to back me up

[jwls]

My husband and I haven't had sex yet since I found out.  I'm still contagious.  He's very condiscending (however your spell it) and will probably not even touch me with his hands.  
What if he ever got it on his hands?

[waringblender]

If you don't have noticeable symptoms or outbreaks, the risk is low enough for oral sex performed on you  that he doesn't need to worry about it. It's not easy to contract HSV2 genital to orally. Have you thought about suppressive medication to protect him further? This might help put his mind at ease as well.

The risk is about 5% rate of transmission over the course of a year if you don't use condoms and all you do is avoid sex during outbreaks and symptoms. Condoms cut that in half. Suppression medication would cut it in half again. So you can see that the original risk is really low, and anything you do over and above that just adds to his protection.

Here's a comparison that might help you: 90% of people with HSV2 don't even know they have it. How many of those people do you think are having unprotected oral sex? Probably tons. Yet we don't see epidemics of HSV2 outbreaks on the mouths of those performing oral sex on their positive partners.

It's very low risk. Send him over to this forum if he wants to ask his own questions or get more information. Also, I find referring links to negative partners from the doctor side of the forum carries lots of weight. The 2 docs over there are experts and know what they are talking about. I've had more than one negative partner tell me that they had no idea herpes wasn't that easy to contract, especially if somebody is using medication and/or condoms.