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Wife of 10+ years has herpes. I tested negative
As the title says, my wife tested positive for herpes in the vaginal area. She had pain, felt tired, and was found to be having an outbreak. She got tested at a clinic, and they verified it as herpes. I then had a blood test done at a local clinic to check for STDs and herpes, (I am in Korea) and I was negative.
So much is going through my mind, and I am confused. Does this mean she had to have contracted it elsewhere, other than from me? Was it recently, or did it lay dormant for years? We have an 11 yr old child, and I would have thought this had come up then, as a potential birth issue, or shown up on a blood test many years ago? FYI, we rarely (as in maybe 1 time in the past 2 years) have intercourse, so it is plausible that I do not and never had it.
She seems completely disinterested in sex, and honestly I don't have much interest, either -- especially now that I am unsure of her. But all of that aside -- and please just stick to the herpes issue -- can I be 100% assured that she cheated? Or that I certainly do not have this, and didn't pass it to her at some point (when I was single, I had several other partners)? Could it have laid dormant for years? I am just looking for honest thoughts about herpes and if it is common to just "show up" over a decade later, or if the more likely scenario is that she cheated recently? Thanks.
So much is going through my mind, and I am confused. Does this mean she had to have contracted it elsewhere, other than from me? Was it recently, or did it lay dormant for years? We have an 11 yr old child, and I would have thought this had come up then, as a potential birth issue, or shown up on a blood test many years ago? FYI, we rarely (as in maybe 1 time in the past 2 years) have intercourse, so it is plausible that I do not and never had it.
She seems completely disinterested in sex, and honestly I don't have much interest, either -- especially now that I am unsure of her. But all of that aside -- and please just stick to the herpes issue -- can I be 100% assured that she cheated? Or that I certainly do not have this, and didn't pass it to her at some point (when I was single, I had several other partners)? Could it have laid dormant for years? I am just looking for honest thoughts about herpes and if it is common to just "show up" over a decade later, or if the more likely scenario is that she cheated recently? Thanks.
COMMUNITY LEADER
No, it doesn't mean she cheated, based on this alone. Many people have it for years and never know, and suddenly get an outbreak. Did she recently - as in within the last couple of weeks - get the covid vaccine? There are a lot of people who suddenly get outbreaks after getting the vaccine, especially the second dose.
We can't say if she cheated, but this alone isn't enough proof that she did.
We can't say if she cheated, but this alone isn't enough proof that she did.
Did y’all get checked before you got married. It doesn’t mean she cheated. She may have just never had a symptom until now. Not everyone know that they have herpes, because they do not show symptoms . It may show and it may not. So I wouldn’t automatically assume she cheated. She probably never knew. You two would need to communicate.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
