Aa
Worried about others finding out
I am a 25 year old male and was recently diagnosed with herpes type 2 about 6 months ago. With regards to dating I am not really worried about disclosing it to any future partners. I think they should know. However, I am more worried that they might consult their close friends about the situation after I tell them. How do you tell someone and not make it sound like a big deal while at the same time conveying how important it is to you that they not discuss the matter with anyone else.
I am a very nice person and want people to get to know me first before they see me as a guy who has herpes. I know several people with herpes who told someone about it, who then told another person about it and so on. Eventually, everyone pretty much knew they had it. I think it is cruel, but it seemed like these people were almost ostracized from the dating community. The stigma surrounding herpes is far worse than the actual disease. Basically, friends of friends would tell other friends to be careful around said person because they had an STD and I am putting this in a much nicer context than others have.
Also, maybe I just notice it more often now, but I constantly hear jokes involving herpes on t.v. They are very hurtful especially when they come from close friends and it makes me afraid to tell anyone. I don't want anyone to look at me in a different light. I don't really know what I hope to get from this post, but I would appreciate anyone who is willing to share their stories of how they got past this issue.
One final thing I recently started seeing a 21 year old girl who is amazing. We are not sexually active as of right now, but I know the subject will come up soon and I don't know what to do. She is very nice and has never made any jokes in references to STD's and I think she is too nice a person to do that. She has been around on multiple occasions though when other people around us or a t.v. show has made open jokes involving herpes. I worry that when I tell her this will be a big deterrent or that she will feel sorry for me whenever jokes like this are made in my presence. I absolutely do not want her to feel sorry for me, but she is a very kind hearted person and I fear she won't be able to help it. She looks at me now like I am the most perfect person she has ever come across and I hate to think of her looking at me any other way.
I hope there is someone that may be feeling the same way or has a similar experience, good or bad, because right now I feel very torn on what to do.
I am a very nice person and want people to get to know me first before they see me as a guy who has herpes. I know several people with herpes who told someone about it, who then told another person about it and so on. Eventually, everyone pretty much knew they had it. I think it is cruel, but it seemed like these people were almost ostracized from the dating community. The stigma surrounding herpes is far worse than the actual disease. Basically, friends of friends would tell other friends to be careful around said person because they had an STD and I am putting this in a much nicer context than others have.
Also, maybe I just notice it more often now, but I constantly hear jokes involving herpes on t.v. They are very hurtful especially when they come from close friends and it makes me afraid to tell anyone. I don't want anyone to look at me in a different light. I don't really know what I hope to get from this post, but I would appreciate anyone who is willing to share their stories of how they got past this issue.
One final thing I recently started seeing a 21 year old girl who is amazing. We are not sexually active as of right now, but I know the subject will come up soon and I don't know what to do. She is very nice and has never made any jokes in references to STD's and I think she is too nice a person to do that. She has been around on multiple occasions though when other people around us or a t.v. show has made open jokes involving herpes. I worry that when I tell her this will be a big deterrent or that she will feel sorry for me whenever jokes like this are made in my presence. I absolutely do not want her to feel sorry for me, but she is a very kind hearted person and I fear she won't be able to help it. She looks at me now like I am the most perfect person she has ever come across and I hate to think of her looking at me any other way.
I hope there is someone that may be feeling the same way or has a similar experience, good or bad, because right now I feel very torn on what to do.
This is a very common concern and yes people can be very cruel about it which is why there is a stigma that unfortunately isn't going to go away anytime soon due to ignorance and lack of education on Herpes and exactly how common the condition is .... many of those making the unkind jokes could possibly be infected themselves and are asymptomatic which is indeed the case for many people they don't discover they have it until they have infected someone else,so although it is cold comfort to you at least you know and have less chance of passing it on ..... I suggest you read the Westoverheights handbook it id full of very reasurring information and also has a part about telling a partner ...... here is the link http://www.westoverheights.com/
Take time to get to know this girl before starting up a sexual relationship many relationships fail for that reason alone ..... but if you chose to have sex soon be sure to use a condom which will significantly reduce the chances of passing it on and don't have sex during an outbreak .....
Also don't read stories Online many are little more than scaremongers .....
Daisy
Take time to get to know this girl before starting up a sexual relationship many relationships fail for that reason alone ..... but if you chose to have sex soon be sure to use a condom which will significantly reduce the chances of passing it on and don't have sex during an outbreak .....
Also don't read stories Online many are little more than scaremongers .....
Daisy
Dude, I know exactly how you feel. Its very tough to figure out when/what to say to someone. I really wish I could give you some advice on that but I'm going thru the same type of thing myself...I'm almost to point where I feel like it would be easier to just deal with people who have it as well.....just wanted to let you know you're not alone on that....
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
