herpes

[ezperanza]

iv been with this woman fr 9 yrs she went to the dr. blood came back positive for herpes. to my knowledge iv never had it 1 cold sore yrs ago but i can almost guarantee no oral sex during that time any wy if weve been together 9 yrs shouldnt she have had some kind of breakout? why all of asudden and i told her i would like to discuss this with the dr. and she had ashit fit and got defensive. what do you think? i know what i think but its hard to believe..

[gracefromHHP]

If you are having a difficult time dealing with it just being known it's a part of your relationship now, imagine what she is feeling?  Work thru this together, not separately.

grace

[ezperanza]

HELLO GRACE, YES YOUR RIGHT THE NEXT STEP WOULD BE FOR ME TO GET TESTED. AND EVEN IF MY TEST COMES BACK NEG THERES STILL NO WAY TO PROVE HER CHEATING. RIGHT? IT JUST SEEMS TO ME THAT IN ALL THESE YEARS HERPES FACTOR HAS NEVER BEEN BROUGHT UP AND PLUS I HAVE TRUST ISSUES WITH HER SO IT MAKES IT  DIFFICULT TO ABSORB.

[gracefromHHP]

No reason to suspect infidelity now just because it's coming up 9 years into your relationship.  At this point you need tested to know your own status and then go from there.  

grace

[ezperanza]

Hello again, finaly someone is seeing my point i feel in my heart that she may have some thing else why else would she flip out? I DONT EVEN NEED TO GO DIRECTLY IN TO THE DR. ALL IM ASKING FOR IS A DR. REPORT I DNT FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS WHOLE SITUATION. STUCK DNT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHAT TO BELIEVE BUT AS THE SAYING GOES FOOLOW YR HEART.... THANK YOU I DNT EVEN KNOW YOU BUT JUST TAKJING MAKES ME FEEL A BIT BETTER.

[gracefromHHP]

Why not ask her if you two can go to the doctor together to discuss her results and for you to get tested? Perhaps she is just afraid that you are angry about the herpes and is afraid to talk openly about it all and deal with it?  

grace

[Bliarg]

Ahh, I see.  Not helpful that she wont face the issue as a couple...and yes, seems strange..but maybe she is embarrassed?  But...yeah, you should try to get her to be more open about the results.  Are you wondering if she has something other than herpes, or that she might have been unfaithful or something?  Definately need to convince her that your health is potentially affected by this, but if she's freaking out that much, softly softly tread.  Best of luck!

[ezperanza]

Fist thank you for your input. The Thing that really has me thinking is i asked her for a copy of the results or we could even go to the dr. together when i mention this she has a fit and the second thing is she isnt saying that i could of givin it to her. which leads me to believe it either came from someone else or shes had it for a wile way be for we even met. im going to the dr. as soon as i can get in.  something doesnt seem right why not let me see the test results unless there is more to it. right? does this make sence?

[Bliarg]

Hi,  

Once you get herpes, you carry it for life.  Periodically the virus will be infectious to others, evn if there is no visible cold sore present.  This is at a stage in the virus's life cycle known as 'viral shedding'.  So, if your partner is saying that you gave her herpes...it is possible.  She may have had a breakout that went unnoticed.  I think you guys better find a way to talk it through without having s hit fits!