Aa
A
A
A
Close
Herpes Community
27.4k Members
Avatar universal

hurting physically and emotionally

Hi, I have been married for 4 years now, few days ago I started experiencing an itching in my vagina, naturally I thought it was a yeast infection which I stArted to treat with over the counter ointment. Within 2 days I realized along with the iching, I started to have a discharge I have never experienced before and 2 very painful bumps on the inner lips of my vagina. I became curious and told my hubby about my findings for, him to then confessed that he have some bumps that have developed on his penis which is very similAr to mine and that he had oral sex and brief intercourse with a female. We both saw our GP who confirmed that we have genital herpes. Anyhow my main concerns r we have 2 kids and know that this STD is very contagious, I have become very paranoid my kids r 2years and 9 months, I am very scared to kiss them bathe, I do not even allow my 2 year old to use our washroom any more in fear of passing on this nastyness. Can they become infected that easily, and I have heard that in most herpes cases the person usually is HIV positive I can't eat or sleep waiting on these results and is it a norm to have sore throat and do women have mÓre severes symptoms than men cause he only have like 3 leisions that are not painful and I have about 10 very painful ones. Oh we r both being treated
16 Responses
Avatar universal
How long does it take for me to get a reply
Avatar universal
Have you both been tested for hsv typing? Your children are at not risk since this is only sexually transmitted.
Avatar universal
I am very new to this we both had a blood test done and awaiting results. Was only diagnosed on wednesday,and I feel as though my whole life  has come to a halt
Avatar universal
By the way thanks concernedbf123
Avatar universal
Can anyone give me some good relief remedies for the leisions tried the warm salt water bAth and thought my vagina was on fire, the pain have me can't sit is it suppose to be this bad
Avatar universal
Were you given valtrex for the lesions? Doctors usually prescribe this while you wait for the results. were you also tested for hiv? If it was negative then you dont have it. Doctors tell you when is a good time to test for that.
Avatar universal
Was given valtrex and a cream acivir but I am actually thinking of going back to the dr cause its sooooo paiNful I am also using cataflam. We also gave blood for Hiv test and other STds
Avatar universal
I've been reading other posts and ppl seems to live a normal life but how can u possibly do that if u get it recurring as I see on other that it happens, I don't think I can do this a 2nd time to be honest
Avatar universal
Yes this is just a nuisance. Think about it as a second period. My gf has it type 1 and i dont. Its so minimal, the common cold. If you want more info read the doctor forums until one of the.expert posters come in..
Avatar universal
Ok thank you so very much concernedbf123. Where I live these things are not talked about much, the dr told me what I have and that was it no info nothing, I had to go online and try to educate myself about the disease. Once again thanks and I hope all goes well with u  
101028 tn?1419606604
definitely you and your husband finding out what type you have is going to be helpful for deciding how to treat this. If you both have hsv2, it's going to be a non-issue in your relationship other than avoiding sex whenever you have an ob that would make having sex during it too painful.  You won't ping pong it back and forth or make things worse for each other or anything like that. should you find that over time you are having ob's frequently or you just don't want to have to deal with them very often, you can consider daily suppressive therapy to help make recurrences few and far between.

the cataflam will help with pain but I also recommend picking up a topical pain reliever too. If you are in the US, you can pick up dermoplast spray ( the blue can for the genital area, not the red can ) for under $10 at most drug stores.  You spray it on the lesions periodically during the day for pain relief.  

The first ob is usually the worst and hopefully future recurrences will be much milder for you. Did you also get tested for yeast and bacterial infections vaginally when you were seen?  did they also swab for chlamydia, gonorrhea and trich?

just because you have herpes doesn't mean you have hiv. thankfully in most countries, hiv infection rates are very low. You are far more likely to have herpes than you are hiv!!

as for your kids, you can all share the same bathroom - not an issue!!  We call herpes a sexually transmitted infection because that's the way it's transmitted, not through routine day to day contact.  I would err on the side of caution and not have a tubby bath with them right now but once your sores have all healed, you can even do that too if you liked to do that before this.  you can still kiss them, hug them and share a bed with them - none of that is the type of contact it takes to transmit genital herpes.

have you and your husband considered talking to a counselor too? Dealing with infidelity and a std can be too much stress for a couple to handle and often having an outside person helping you is very useful.

keep asking questions!
grace
Avatar universal
Thank u very much for the reply. As I mentioned earlier the dr just told us whAt we have by looking @ the leision on my husband gave us a blood test and that was it no info nothing had to educate myself by researching online. Its been a week now and I'm anxiously awaiting the HIV results. The pain is there but more tolerable than the past few days. Is there a difference in Hsv1 and 2 I tHought hsv1 was the 1 which gave cold sores and 2 was the genital herpes. Can u plz explain the differnce, we have started counselling but I'm hurting so bad emotionally and physically its hard to forgive him, cheating is 1 thing but to be so stupid not to protect urself and put ur family @ risk that's a no no And I ask before r women symptom worse than the male cause he have 3 small painless leisions and I'm here with about 15 very painful 1's can t even sit properly  
101028 tn?1419606604
symptoms vary from person to person, not really by gender.  

the free herpes handbook that we recommend in our read before posting post has lots of good info - have you read it yet?

you can get either type of herpes in either location.  
Avatar universal
We have 6 children, 2 are toddlers and my wife felt the same as you at first. This infection is not like the flu, as long as you are not rubbing your vagina on your kids you have nothing to worry about. Don't freak, get on the valtrex...the symtoms become less frequent over time.
Avatar universal
Hi just letting u know the hiv results came back n its negative. The leisions started to heal but I have another flare up its not as bad as before, just trying to come to grips with it all. Thanks for the info, can't seem to find the book ur talking about though
Avatar universal
have you gotten the results for hsv1 and hsv2 back?
Have an Answer?
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Here are 16 facts you need to know to protect yourself from contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease.
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A breakthrough study discovers how to reduce risk of HIV transmission by 95 percent.
Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia provides insight to the most commonly asked question about the transfer of HIV between partners.
The warning signs of HIV may not be what you think. Our HIV and STD expert Sean Cummings reports in-depth on the HIV "Triad" and other early symptoms of this disease.