Friends Invitations

[April2]

What do you guys do when someone sends you a friends invitation and you aren't sure who they are? Do you just accept it, ignore it or investigate who the person is?
I kind of wish people wouldn't do that. I wish they'd send you a message or note first saying how they know you and asking if they can send an invitation. If I don't know who the person is, I wind up investigating and trying to figure out who they are and how they know me! I'm left wondering if they maybe saw me answer a post they agreed with and that's why they sent me an invitation? Or did they actually speak with me and I don't remember? Then I go back and look at all the posts to try and figure it out.

I kind of like to get to know the person first before I put them on my friend's list. I don't want to offend people but I just like to get to know them a little bit first. Anybody else out there feel like that too? What do you guys do? Just curious!
April

[Me967]

Just a short comment to clarify what I meant by being rude.  I go threw and read their comments.  I understand that everyone has a bad time every now and then.  If you go threw them and see more rude ones than decent ones then I ignore them.  That has only happened once though.  

The inactive one I was talking about I found out she no longer has a computer.  Yet she may get on someday and if she does then I'm afraid then she would feel forgotten.  I'm just a sentimental idiot I guess.  LOL

TO EVERYONE:  My computer is giving me ALL kinds of GRIEF.  If I don't get to send a Thanksgiving wish to my friends and/or everyone.  Please forgive me.  So I thought I would let everyone know now that I hope and pray all is well with your loved ones and Happy Thanksgiving....

[MJIthewriter]

No one gets a notice if you remove them from your list.  But if they can look at their friendlist and notice their number went down. If so they can look up their friend list to see who got dropped.  There was a time in frustration, anger, and impulsiveness I did remove a bunch of people from my list. I feel bad about it. :(  If they want to go ahead and resend an invite, they can, but I'm not going to force it.

About rudeness: We all have bad days, weeks, etc where things may not work out right, so I don't really want to hold that against any person, as long as they are willing to discuss whatever is the problem and be willing to resolve it together with me. If it's not someone going out of their way to be rude, chances are, there may be a reason they are angry. In that case I want to work with those people, find out where I messed up, admit where I was wrong, ask for forgiveness and hope they do the same.

I've also had people of conflicting interests send me invites. I kind of hesitate on those but I eventually I tend to accept them.

Btw, Me967, I feel the same way about inactive accounts.  I have a number of people who have created accounts, maybe posted once or twice and then seem to have dissappeared. I'm tempted to remove them, but I keep them in hopes they will come back some time to the website.  I sometimes send them notes or pms once and a while asking how they are doing. I typically save that for around some kind of holiday, so I can send them a "special" note.  If I get no response, then I ignore the person. Sometimes I'll get a response and that is encouraging.

[suzi-q]

I usually say yes and then go and investigate.

[Me967]

I usually go and see who the person is and what interest we have first and what kind of person they are.

1.)  If they have no information I will leave the invite sit for a week or two and watch.  If they still have no information, post or anything I hit ignore.  
2.)  Also if they seem rude to people I will hit ignore, because most people on here are either reaching for help for physical issues, trying to help others out (or both) or just would like a friend and do not need to be treated rudely.  In other words treat people the way you would want to be treated.  If your rude to others then yes I will ignore it.  Sorry for sounding harsh, but this site is for people to be there for each other and not to cause pain.

Agiesmom---I'm not sure if you delete a friend if they get notice of it or not.  I don't think so though.  Maybe someone else can chime in on that.  
Concerning the ignore button though, it is the same as rejecting them.  They don't get added to your list; but, they do not get notice of this.  They just assume that there not invited after a while.  :-(  for them.

Generally I will accept most all of the invites though.  As MJIthewriter said it is a way of book marking.  I have never deleted anyone, though I have the one that I have considered because they have not been on for over 8 months now.  I'm afraid if I do though that's when they will come back.  LOL  
I personally don't send many invites out anymore unless I'm truly interested in that person or the persons interest.  So sorry for making this so long.  

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanks Giving.  Happy Thanksgiving to all.  ;-)



  

[Agiesmom]

I have two questions about this:  if you delete someone from your friends list, do they get a message letting them know they've been axed by you?  Also, if you reject an invitation, do they get a rejection notice?  (Or is rejecting an invitation more like ignoring it?)

[MJIthewriter]

As far as I see it, an invite is a way of "bookmarking" me. When I was writing different articles related to autism, I figured those people wanted some way to find my profile to read those resources. That's mainly why I accept invites.

But as far as being considered a friend, it doesn't really matter if they are on my list or not.  Being a friend on my list does not equal that person having a friendship with me.  But it is a way they can keep up with my writings and activity on medhelp. It shows me that those people are interested in some way.