A lot of times girls enjoy sex differently than guys. They may want to just jump to having sex but teasing by fondling breasts, butt, thigh can help. A big thing can also be how you approach it. If she likes to be dominated or be the one on top then that would help her get in the right mood to enjoy sex or any substitute. Also for oral or hand stimulation don’t be afraid to kinda test what works. I know fingering superficially once a few inches in and a circulur motion with 2 fingers can do wonders. I have hand trouble with ED for over a year so ive hard to really pay attention to these things cuz it turns me on to hear the moaning so it got me up and hotness her ready for great sex. Good luck man
Since you are a newly married couple, take time getting to know each other's likes and dislikes, both physically and mentally. You cannot do this by living separately. You should be sleeping together, even if you are not having intercourse at this time due to your ED. Kiss and caress her body including breasts and elsewhere. If she enjoys it, orally stimulate her privates. However, you should not be ignored. Allow her to give you a slow lubricated hand job that will hopefully show you both that you can gain an erection and then ejaculate. In time, you will become more at ease within your marriage, but it takes each partner caring about the satisfaction of the other.