FED UP

[Barb79]

My bf is so into M+P so bad, that we don't have a sex life. He is 66 years old. I have tried to talk to him about it, but it does not good. He doesn't think that's a problem. He has tons of it on his computer and the computer has been giving him problems and he thinks it's just bad. I have tried telling him it's all the sites he goes on for the porn, he doesn't think so. He has been doing M+P for a long time. His x-wife left him because of it. I do care about him, but it is causing problems between us. I'm at the end of my rope and don't know what to do. I hope you or someone can help me with this.

[Peter479]

Hi Barb,

I recently put a question on here that was similar to your boyfriends problem. I'm 61 and addicted to masturbating and watching women masturbate on my computer.   I wasn't always like this.  I was perfectly normal until one day I decide to watch a video of a woman masturbating, as my wife refuses to do it for me in any way, shape or form.  For me, I'd love her to do it as I know I'd get seriously turned on by it.  Anyway, back to what's happened.  After viewing one woman I realised of course that if I could view one I could view two and so on. After a few months of this, I noticed that I needed to view them, as all I could think of was the state of euphoria  I was getting from masturbating and the wonderful feeling I was getting having erections all the time.  Trouble was, when it came time to have the weekly sex with my wife, I was either not in the mood or drained from an earlier session.  This caused hardness problem with my penis.  Naturally,  I then started worrying about not going hard which didn't help matters at all.  I then started masturbating more to prove to myself that my penis was still okay causing this vicious cycle that I'm now locked into to.  That's where  I'm at right now.  Last Saturday I decided to stop watching porn and masturbating by going cold turkey so to speak.  All I can think of day and night at the moment is whipping out my penis and making it hard.  I can only imagine its like someone stopping smoking which I've never had to do thankfully.  I'm hoping by not masturbating or viewing porn that my desire for my wife will come back and the previous hardness will return as normal.   Weekly sex sessions with her are a little far apart I'd have to say and the lack of showing me her sexual side, frustrating.    

Seeing your boyfriend is similar age to me, maybe he has got himself addicted as well, due to things that happened in his previous marriage. Its going to take sometime I think, judging by how I feel at the moment to come right, but maybe hiding his computer and you doing some sexy things will end his need to masturbate alone.  Join him for a few sessions.  You never know where it might go.   Good Luck

Peter 479

[remar]

It's obvious that you care for this man, but remember that he is 66 years old and has lost a marriage over this. If he would get counseling that would probably really help. There's a reason he is doing this and ignoring a physical relationship with you. Don't think this has anything to do with you. He was doing this long before you came into the picture. Also, if he's going to unprotected sites then yes, his computer could be infected with viruses. My advice to you is to ask him to see a counselor and if he refuses then maybe it's time for you to move on.