Aa
Stop Masturbating.
I haven't masturbated ever since new years,so yeah one of my new years resolution is to not masturbated for a whole year(also not to look at porn,but I kinda screwed that up.Almost masturbated at that time,but stop myself).So yeah ever since new years,I notice I've been alot cranky in the mornings,then there were sometimes I was really horny but I was able to ignore the urges.The reason why I want to do this because part of me feels disgusted of myself after I masturbate.Now the other part of me really wants to masturbate but I refuse to give in,but I really want to.I can't make up my mind!I feel like I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other,not saying masturbating is bad or anything,just can't help but feel that way.So should I just give in or continue on not masturbating?
Hi, I'm 17 and I actaually began masturbation 'very late' - it was around oct/nov 2009, so when I was stilö 16. Before then, I was actually only looking at innocent and very very soft porn (just pics and no videos and no extreme obscenities). It was hard for me b4 I masturbated as I hadn't really been with a girl - and going to a boys school for many years didn't help either. So due to this I had issues,with sexuality (and still do!). So due to this, I looked at both straight porn and gay too - whilst going to a boys school. Thus, whilst going to the school, I used to have intense sexual imaginations (no wanking) about loads of boys in different years and I mean so intense, that I precummed on many occassions without even touching myself. The imaginations weren't just sexual, but full blown and indepth films played in my head from my own imagination! How I would do it - any boy that was good looking, I would take a mental picture (crazily, this was how I seemingly developped a photographic memory!), and then replay him in my own brain movie. There were never any girls in my brain movies (except for when they were going out with the boy I liked!) - but this was mostly due to the fact that most, if not all, of my friends were boys.
But, anyway, one night in 2009, I woke up feeling wet (obviously had a wet dream). - Prior to this, I was having the most intense dream that I've never had before - I was engaging in full 'sexual activity' with a boy that I liked from school and I ejaculated in the dream whilst doing this. But midway through this, I woke up to find myself still ejaculating! It was the greatest feeling - and I'm not just saying that! Because it felt so good, my hand suddenly went to my penis and I started masturbating as if I had before but I had never masturbated ever. (In my years at school - people always used to talk about masturbating and I totally got the wrong impression - I thought that when you masturbated, liquid secretes from the skin of your penis, not shoots from the hole!! Silly, I know but I only knew about,masturbation from my friends - and all they ever used to do was say 'wanker' and do the hand motion!
But after that intense night, I began to do it just a bit - as I was still innocent and didn't know what I was doing! (Whilst this was going on, I was going to a crazy church which was bent on youth staying away from 'sexual immorality' and boy did they scream - literally, they're pentecostal!)
But due to going to this church, I began to do it more frequently because the church was really stressing me out and my parents were to in relation with the church. I just didn't agree with what they were preaching and their violent way of soing it too. So masturbation became a stress-releasing thing. After church. After arguing with parents etc. Then came porn. I recently, late last year, began to masturbate to porn. (by this time, straight porn grossed me out and didn't interest me - this was due to the fact that when I was younger, my older brother kept on bringing girls home and sleeping with them. So one time, I went into his room after he had left and finished with her and I found a plastic bag where he had deposited condoms, tissues etc - and the smell totally grossed me out - I was even in the middle of eating my favourite food at the time! But after smelling it, I just couldn't eat anything anymore and thus I wasn't much attracted to girls anymore because of that. ***** simply grossed me out due to that seemingly childhood trauma. Then came the boys school, which didn't help things much!)
So, recently, I masturbated to clean gay porn, but I began to do it too often. Mental issues came after ejaculating and muscle tiredness and headaches the morning after - same with anyone else?
The mental issues were similar to schizophrenia (but just voices from memory - related to arguments with parents and horrible screaming voice of crazy church minister!)
But luckily I have started to solve that with instrumental music and loads of reading etc to refine my brain.
The issue now is that I began to do it often and the most time I've stopped in less than two weeks! Masturbation really makes me tired and look like I'm hung over or tired. My muscles feel tired and my leg muscle aren't as muscly as before starting masturbation - I used to swim and run track regularly at school. Just swim and do pushups now.
Now, I've decided, because I want to improve and enter elite level sport and excel in my school work, that I've got stop for a very long period of time! Masturbation actually makes me exhausted and drastically lowers my attention span - for example the day after doing it, I can't read a book properly, whereas I'm an excellent reader and in some cases read a page a minute and understand everything! - does anyone else have these side effects?
I really want to stop and restore my life energy. And it doesn't help that I haven't gone out with anyone or had real sexual experiences with someone else, despite not being a loner and having loads of friends, who are mostly boys.
I would rather be with a boy than a girl, but for obvious reasons it's harder to hook up witj a boy for some innocent experience.
Any advice on my whole situation?
Thanks, and sorry for being so long - it is therapy after all! ;)
But, anyway, one night in 2009, I woke up feeling wet (obviously had a wet dream). - Prior to this, I was having the most intense dream that I've never had before - I was engaging in full 'sexual activity' with a boy that I liked from school and I ejaculated in the dream whilst doing this. But midway through this, I woke up to find myself still ejaculating! It was the greatest feeling - and I'm not just saying that! Because it felt so good, my hand suddenly went to my penis and I started masturbating as if I had before but I had never masturbated ever. (In my years at school - people always used to talk about masturbating and I totally got the wrong impression - I thought that when you masturbated, liquid secretes from the skin of your penis, not shoots from the hole!! Silly, I know but I only knew about,masturbation from my friends - and all they ever used to do was say 'wanker' and do the hand motion!
But after that intense night, I began to do it just a bit - as I was still innocent and didn't know what I was doing! (Whilst this was going on, I was going to a crazy church which was bent on youth staying away from 'sexual immorality' and boy did they scream - literally, they're pentecostal!)
But due to going to this church, I began to do it more frequently because the church was really stressing me out and my parents were to in relation with the church. I just didn't agree with what they were preaching and their violent way of soing it too. So masturbation became a stress-releasing thing. After church. After arguing with parents etc. Then came porn. I recently, late last year, began to masturbate to porn. (by this time, straight porn grossed me out and didn't interest me - this was due to the fact that when I was younger, my older brother kept on bringing girls home and sleeping with them. So one time, I went into his room after he had left and finished with her and I found a plastic bag where he had deposited condoms, tissues etc - and the smell totally grossed me out - I was even in the middle of eating my favourite food at the time! But after smelling it, I just couldn't eat anything anymore and thus I wasn't much attracted to girls anymore because of that. ***** simply grossed me out due to that seemingly childhood trauma. Then came the boys school, which didn't help things much!)
So, recently, I masturbated to clean gay porn, but I began to do it too often. Mental issues came after ejaculating and muscle tiredness and headaches the morning after - same with anyone else?
The mental issues were similar to schizophrenia (but just voices from memory - related to arguments with parents and horrible screaming voice of crazy church minister!)
But luckily I have started to solve that with instrumental music and loads of reading etc to refine my brain.
The issue now is that I began to do it often and the most time I've stopped in less than two weeks! Masturbation really makes me tired and look like I'm hung over or tired. My muscles feel tired and my leg muscle aren't as muscly as before starting masturbation - I used to swim and run track regularly at school. Just swim and do pushups now.
Now, I've decided, because I want to improve and enter elite level sport and excel in my school work, that I've got stop for a very long period of time! Masturbation actually makes me exhausted and drastically lowers my attention span - for example the day after doing it, I can't read a book properly, whereas I'm an excellent reader and in some cases read a page a minute and understand everything! - does anyone else have these side effects?
I really want to stop and restore my life energy. And it doesn't help that I haven't gone out with anyone or had real sexual experiences with someone else, despite not being a loner and having loads of friends, who are mostly boys.
I would rather be with a boy than a girl, but for obvious reasons it's harder to hook up witj a boy for some innocent experience.
Any advice on my whole situation?
Thanks, and sorry for being so long - it is therapy after all! ;)
I've taken this resolution since 25 years ago and now I'm 37 years old and I'm still masturbating. It was really one of the key loosing battles in my life. I only managed to stop for 2 months since a long time ago but when one of my knowledgeable friends told me it is medically and religiously accepted I decided to resume it again.
I decided to stop it now and this time will be the final and serious resolution for the following reasons.
My sexual life with my wife really deteriorated because my mind is totally occupied with another virtual image and pleasure about sex which is not achievable in the reality. This is direct outcome from the masturbation and recall of the porno materials. In addition to that I'm so sensitive person in general and in sex particularly.
Secondly; I was masturbating since I was 12 years old after reading the Thousands nights and one night and it inspired me with the masturbation and I found it gives me a pleasure. This fantasy has awaken all my sexual world. Gradually I became addictive to this habit and I was trying to leave this sexual dream without orgasm and that has caused sort of back pressure and inflammations and this has caused a level of varicocele.
As you see complications of the addiction and the over doing of masturbation were so many.
I mentioned about the deterioration of my emotional and sexual life with my wife which I was substitute by the masturbation as my only alternative!!.
The last consequence I found recently which drove me totally to total stopping of it was the following. I had recently some of the out of marriage sexual relationship which was so stressful on my mind and consciousness since they are against my background and the feeling of sin was deep but the desire was stronger. I was rapidly ejaculating in the beginning of this relationship and that happened in very handful number of times where I was prohibiting myself from going to the full intercourse in the majority of the times.
Recently I went through very occasional and situational intercourse and shockingly I couldn't ejaculate!!!!!. There were signs before for that where when the other "temporarily" partners were giving me oral or hand job I wouldn't ejaculate as well. the feeling was different from my hand.
Meaning it has definitely affected my sexual feelings either by accelerating the ejaculation or delaying it severely.
that's why I decided to stop it after 25 years!!!!!.
I decided to stop it now and this time will be the final and serious resolution for the following reasons.
My sexual life with my wife really deteriorated because my mind is totally occupied with another virtual image and pleasure about sex which is not achievable in the reality. This is direct outcome from the masturbation and recall of the porno materials. In addition to that I'm so sensitive person in general and in sex particularly.
Secondly; I was masturbating since I was 12 years old after reading the Thousands nights and one night and it inspired me with the masturbation and I found it gives me a pleasure. This fantasy has awaken all my sexual world. Gradually I became addictive to this habit and I was trying to leave this sexual dream without orgasm and that has caused sort of back pressure and inflammations and this has caused a level of varicocele.
As you see complications of the addiction and the over doing of masturbation were so many.
I mentioned about the deterioration of my emotional and sexual life with my wife which I was substitute by the masturbation as my only alternative!!.
The last consequence I found recently which drove me totally to total stopping of it was the following. I had recently some of the out of marriage sexual relationship which was so stressful on my mind and consciousness since they are against my background and the feeling of sin was deep but the desire was stronger. I was rapidly ejaculating in the beginning of this relationship and that happened in very handful number of times where I was prohibiting myself from going to the full intercourse in the majority of the times.
Recently I went through very occasional and situational intercourse and shockingly I couldn't ejaculate!!!!!. There were signs before for that where when the other "temporarily" partners were giving me oral or hand job I wouldn't ejaculate as well. the feeling was different from my hand.
Meaning it has definitely affected my sexual feelings either by accelerating the ejaculation or delaying it severely.
that's why I decided to stop it after 25 years!!!!!.
Wow. I've never seen so many men talk openly about this and so vulnerably. I also didn't know the male penis had so many complications. I'm a female and I started masturbating when I was 20 and just like pringles once you pop the fun don't stop lol. I feel addicted to it and I don't like the fact that It has some control over me. I've actually been late to work/school because of it. I used to be addicted to porn but that doesn't turn me on anymore. It's so fake and there's no passion. I wish I could stop but it's like I can't go longer than a couple of days.
Everyone, I am 19 years old and it has now been exactly 6 months (1/1/2010 - 7/1/2010) since i have masturbated. I feel so so accomplished and a heck of a lot better about myself. I was masturbating for 4 years a couple times a day, with only a wk-2wks at most being clean here and there. I always felt I had to stop since i am Orthodox Jewish and it is strictly forbidden to masturbate. At the same time, all my Jewish friends from high school and on have admitted to me that they masturbate, which makes it harder to stop.
I woke up at the end of 2009, I said there's a new year coming, a new decade, and I'm gonna know that from the turn of 2010 i never masturbated. I doubted myself, and went through bitter hell stopping. But now, it is already 6 months and I never caved.
I have never felt this more accomplished. If I wasn't religious I would probably not stop. But I see from this forum that the desire to stop is not only a religious thing. So for all, I used to do it a couple times a day for 4 years!!!!! And it has been 6 months totally clean now!!!!
It is hard at first, but what kind of accomplishment in life is not hard to accomplish at first? True, this is an ongoing battle, but you can be the victorious one unlike your friends!!
I am the victorious one and i feel great!!!
I woke up at the end of 2009, I said there's a new year coming, a new decade, and I'm gonna know that from the turn of 2010 i never masturbated. I doubted myself, and went through bitter hell stopping. But now, it is already 6 months and I never caved.
I have never felt this more accomplished. If I wasn't religious I would probably not stop. But I see from this forum that the desire to stop is not only a religious thing. So for all, I used to do it a couple times a day for 4 years!!!!! And it has been 6 months totally clean now!!!!
It is hard at first, but what kind of accomplishment in life is not hard to accomplish at first? True, this is an ongoing battle, but you can be the victorious one unlike your friends!!
I am the victorious one and i feel great!!!
Use it or lose it! I found that I needed time to myself. To find myself. Justifying yourself with sexuality isn't always a smart thing to do! That's me, though I could be wrong. Gay life and religion are currently arguing with my already dilapidated mind. Off a number of medications for some months now, and I find that It's better to stay convicted. I choose celibacy. Not much of a choice, considering I live in a house not under my rule.
I feel like I am 17 again. It's embarrassing - But! Regardless of the dispositions, never hide your anger in the case of masking your impotence, though (Gandhi remark). Sometimes you don't always have a good hand. Fold with dignity.
I feel like I am 17 again. It's embarrassing - But! Regardless of the dispositions, never hide your anger in the case of masking your impotence, though (Gandhi remark). Sometimes you don't always have a good hand. Fold with dignity.
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