Hello, I need help, I just don't' know what to do now, um, I meet my finance at our a.a. meetings for alcoholics, and we are both happy being sober and helping others out to get sober and we have some great points in our relationship and we are having a baby and we don't have many financial problems we should be happy and people generally imagine we are happy together, but i'm hiding alot,
Some times i'm scared of him and i have to leave him alone to do what he wants, now he's addicted to the internet and for a long time i've been jealous of the computer, His job is online and so he has to work online so i accept that, but he plays online games while he works and he makes his own hours, and he is bipolar and a compulsive behaviour to make online post on face book and other news websites for hours on end, we have had arguments about how much time he should spend playing a game online when we have so much to do with a new baby coming, but he has made it clear to me he is'nt going to stop and he feels as though he needs those games and post to get relif from work, but they cause him to not take care of himself, I find that i do all the house chores and all the whole thing alone, i stare at the back of his head every night hoping tonight he might come to bed eventually,
Today is, Friday and he has'nt changed his clothes since Monday morning, it's past midnight on Friday, i ask him when last did you take a shower, he says Tuesday but i don't know if he really did why not did he put the clothes i wash and hang on a hanger and fold for him on.
He has gengervitus so bad i can not receive oral sex from him, because he has not brushed his teeth and he says he forgets to. he becomes so into his work and playing games and being social on face book along at the same time that he cant focus on eating if i'm not around,
I used to get more upset that i do now, but i cant live with us having ridiculous arguing, so i try to treat him like a 10 yr old child, and make things fun for him at home that he might want to do something besides the computer, but nothing i have tried has worked for the last 8 months,
I am now searching self help books for myself on how to accept the way he is, I love him and i don't want to leave even if i'm tempted to, I try to stay off line of the internet because i don't feel right always trying to find out why he cant stop any more, I have even deleted my face book page only to find that i have to keep up with what he's doing somehow and i fall back into going on the site, I know i can look at that stuff, but i can walk away from it, but he cant,
What possibly else can i do? He's made the choice he wants to live this way and if I try to hard he wont' change at all he'll think he should stay on there longer if i try to talk about it, so how can i not talk about it but coax him into at least a daily routine of hygiene? It's hard to love someone who is dirty alot, and you cant even kiss him.