Why? Thats my question. No one will have the answer but I just need to vent.
I'm 34, hubby is 37. We made 2 amazing, smart, beautiful daughters 5 and 2 years ago. The journey was tough with road bumps galore. First preg was a loss which is kinda common. Second preg gave us our first baby girl. Then came 3 more miscarriages in a row. Had some testing done on myself, no clotting disorders, no abnormal genetic stuff. The babies were early losses, 2 were trisomy chromasomal defects, the others weren't tested. Then because I don't give up, we were blessed with our second baby girl. After much convincing the hubby we decided to go again. Last summer had another miscarriage in august. No genetic or physical defects. What went wrong then??
My husband said I get one more shot right? Did everything we could, ate healthy, took our vitamins, exercise, etc etc. I am currently losing my 6th pregnancy. This is it. No more chances. I have been obsessed with having 3 kids. Is that selfish? I love my kids. Have this need for more. But cannot. It's not happening. I'm crushed. I squeeze my girls every day and tell them how much I appreciate them. This has taught me take nothing for granted. I just don't know how I'm going to get over it. I WILL NOT have another baby. This crushes me.