How do I deal with this?

[shanniree]

My friend and I were tring to get pregnant at the same time. I found out I was pregnant December 4, 2010  had a miscarage january 13th and a d&c the next day. She told my yesterday that she is pregnant. Im happy for her but at the same time I'm so upset. I lost my baby the same time she conceved hers :o( how do I deal with this?  

[ShazzieA]

I'm at your stage as well. I have one little boy (2.5 yrs). I've now had 4 miscarriages in a row. Each time it feels like there has always been a good friend preg at about the same time I was and due when I would have been. It hurts a lot to watch them just breeze through.....I feel happy for them but it is a reminder to me of what I've lost and the sadness I feel. With time it gets a bit easier for me...seeing them for the first time after I've miscarried is always the hardest. I'm pregnant again now.....but my HCG levels aren't rising as they should be.....so it's very unknown what will happen. I have a friend about 1 week pregnant in front of me and her pregnancy is going well. I know that my sister in law will try for a baby in a  few months as well. It's very hard....I'm just trying to be busy and keep moving forward

[frank_noahsmommy]

I have been there as well. I have been trying for #3 for 2 years and last June I became pg as well as my sister n law who had only been trying for 2 months! I ended up having a m/c (my 5th) and she continued on with her pregnancy. At first it hurt like he!!. I did not want to be around her or be happy for her! But in time I got over it, and my niece was born 3 days ago and I could not be happier!!! I am in love with her already. I know my time will come, but we just got to be patient. Don't let this get in the way of your relationship, be happy for her. It is hard and it might take time.

[gromit68]

again like the other 2 ladies really feel for you. i lost my baby 2 weeks ago at 10 weeks was my 3rd miscarriage and my sister called today to tell me she was pregnant and has known 2 weeks so like you ladies am really pleased for her but god so sad for me, really would have loved to share the experience of having a baby together and now i will have to sit back and watch. my husband is really not keen to try again as he does not want to see me in this pain again but the pain hurts more knowing i might not have a baby, good luck and i really hope your time comes soon and you will enjoy your new baby x

[CarlaLP]

I know exactly how you feel. I am in the process of losing twins and BOTH my sisters in law just gave birth to healthy wonderful babies, so while I am struggling with my loss I am being forced to attend baby showers and christenings.. it's borderline cruel.

I try to think that this is just their time and that my time will come eventually. There is no logic to this and it is just plain awful, but try to put the good karma out there and be supportive of her and happy for her.

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but things will work out for you. Also, you don't have to be around her all the time if it is hard. Focus on yourself and getting pregnant again. She should understand how you feel because it could have just as easily been her.


Good Luck!!

[jenkaye21]

That's tough.  I understand how you feel.  My sister and I were pregnant and due a day apart (unplanned!)  Then I lost my baby.  It is tough to see her getting her baby bump and buying baby things, etc, but of course I am also really happy for her.  It's her first, and would've been my 5th.  
You'll get your baby in time.  Hang in there!