Miscarriage

[Isabelle_C]

Hi, my name is Isabelle and I'm 25. I knew I was pregnant with my first child before I even did the test. I knew 2 weeks before doing the test on Jan 9, 2015. I was so happy and excited about having a baby and so was my fiancé. We took a picture of my belly everyday and told everyone right away, everyone was so happy and excited for us. I knew it was a girl even though I never saw her on any echo or anything. I could just feel it, if that makes sense to anyone. On Jan 19th, 2015 I had a little bit of blood around 8pm and called the nurses. They said not to worry about it. I went to bed, knowing that something wasn't right. I woke up at 3:00 am and rushed myself to the bathroom. I miscarried on the toilet and flushed my baby. I spent 12 hours at the emergencies trying to "save" my baby. They did pap test, bloodwork, ultrasound and gave me a winroh shot. On Jan 19, I lost my baby girl. I was so looking forward to meet her, carry her, hold her in my arms. Here is my question to you : how can I get over my miscarriage? I'm still crying my soul out on my lost baby. I miss her even though she wasn't mine to have. Thanks

[ribaby15]

So weird! Same thing with me! I found out I lost my son at my 16wk apt last yr. Was induced and had him Sept 12th and my due date with this baby is sept 15th. but im measuring big.
i'm taking it as he wants to make a second appearance. we're not finding out the sex until D day :)
I too was pregnant when my due date passed this February 19th. It was hard. especially because ive had nothing but complications in this pregnancy, but the little bugger is still holding on and ive been feeling flutters for a week and a half now.

[azndoraemon]

I had a mc last feb at 6w and it was my first. I told both of our families and my mgr accidentally told my work. I hated the feeling at work. It is true no one can really tell you have to deal with this except yourself. The hard thing was that no body in my family or husbands had experienced mc so that made me feel like must be my fault.

I eventually didn't grieve that long bc I told myself I have to be strong and do something to get over this. Whining and crying isn't going to help. I said to myself over and over that - I'm grateful and lucky that mc so early rather than later. At least nothing has developed yet and not having to bury the baby. I only cried twice, that really helped me.

I'm now 7.5 weeks. I waited for a year ttc, and only tried two months and got preg.

[DaniJezTyson]

Yeah, a ceremony would be a nice thing to do and a beautiful way to say goodbye. It will be hard, the pain from a loss of a baby is something you'll always have. I miscarried June 17 last year, I fell pregnant 3months later and now my miscarriage anniversary is my new due date June 17 this year. Its a really hard thing to go through. Me and my partner decided we'd start trying and it took us 2months after getting of the pill to fall pregnant. We were so happy, we told everyone. We couldn't hide our joy. I always felt he was a baby boy, just a feeling I had. I called him Jellybean. We went for our first ultrasound at 12weeks and found out our baby hadn't made it past 8weeks, he'd been passed away inside of me for a month and I had no idea. I mean I'd tried a fetal doppler, couldn't find a heart beat but alot of the time you can find one that early anyway so I didn't freak out, I just thought he was making us wait until the ultrasound lol Our joy turned into sorrow and pain so fast. I knew something was wrong as soon as the lady started the ultrasound,  she was going to make me wait for a Doctors Appointment to find out he'd passsed but I am very persistent and was asking so many questions, she told us as nice as she could. So when we fell pregnant again it was hard, always worrying and wondering. My old due date was December 31 last year and it was an awful day for us. Even though I was pregnant again I just couldnt help thinking I should be having my baby. I didn't care to hear people saying "Everything happens for a reason" "Obviously there was something wrong" "He wasn't meant for us" or "atleast you know you can conceive and carry" He was my baby. Me and my partner supported each other through it, he was amazing for me. I miscarried in the shower and he cleaned it all up because he didn't want me to see the clots. The miscarriage brought us so much closer. We didn't tell many people we were pregnant again just incase until 20weeks this time. Now we're 27weeks and 2days along with a baby boy and I get to watch him bounce around in my stomach, which makes the worrying easier. He moved and kicks alot. My partner has a four year old son (my step son) His biological mother isn't in the picture and hasn't been for 3 years. So he is my son, I've been raising him for 3 year, do everything a mother would, I love him more then she could. I like to think our son and this son on the way will have a brother watching over them every step they take in their lives and that brings me some comfort xxx Sorry for your loss.

[newmomma8488]

Most people that say those things to you haven't had to go through something as traumatic as a miscarriage.  Not an excuse at all.  Been through 3 myself and I lose it every time I hear someone say those things.  They're ignorant to the hurt of it.  You won't get over it completely.  Things will bother you more now than before.  I avoided baby showers for years.  Your due date, the date you lost her, every year will probably trigger the same hurt you felt like it just happened.  Don't be shy to talk about her.  Include her in future pregnancies when you announce.  If it makes someone uncomfortable then explain to them why you talk about her.  

[Isabelle_C]

thank you, at first, i told myself that there wasn't an available soul for her, now I see her more like an angel too, i'm still devastated though :(

[diachong]

I hated it when people said things like 'it wasn't meant to be' or 'you're young you can try again'. That wasn't what I wanted to hear. I thank the baby I lost though because I feel like if it wasn't for that baby I wouldn't be pregnant with my baby girl now. My boyfriend and I say the baby we lost is my baby girl's angel:)

[Isabelle_C]

Thank you for your kind words. My fiancé is very supportive. Everyone around me tell me things like "this child wasn't meant for you" , "it's part of life" , "at least you know you can conceive" , "you weren't that far along" .... I just feel like I lost part of me, I don't know how to turn the page. My therapist said that maybe I should do a little ceremony to help saying Goodbye.

[victoriamarie7347]

I had a stillborn little girl four years  and had a miscarriage last year. You won't get over it but it will get easier with time and you won't think about it all the time. Try to get our and do things to get your mind off of it. I'm sorry for your loss.

[diachong]

I had a miscarriage last July. I was 7/8 weeks and was absolutely devastated. It was the worst thing I've ever experienced and I'm still not over it. Even though I'm 26 weeks pregnant again I still cry sometimes when I think about it. Honestly the only thing that helps get over a miscarriage is time. I cried for a week straight and just sat at home miserable. When I went back to work a week later I thought it would help take my mind off it, but it really didn't work for me. Unfortunately miscarriages are something a lot of women have to suffer through. There was really nothing anyone could say to me to make me feel better, for me it was something I had to come to terms with on my own even though I had my boyfriend here with me. You need to grieve and cry your eyes out and feel sorry for yourself and your baby that you lost. You'll never forget your baby, but trust me it gets better.

[mari_83]

I'm sorry about your miscarriage I believe it's really hard to overcome the pain although your baby was in for a short time. I've had 3 miscarriages, currently 37wks and I'm still scared n worry all the time. My personal expierance I don't think u overcome a miscarriage, I still worry and at times I still can't believe it. I wish the best for u , hope the pain heals little by little think positive god will help u get through.

[Cori2]

I had one at 9 weeks. Hardest thing ever. Still haven't got over it. Only time helps for me. I am 15 weeks now and super nervous. It was a traumatic experience for me. I wish I could say something to make u feel better but only you know the bond you held.

[Isabelle_C]

probably 5-7 weeks, I know it's not very far along but I was already deeply attached to her. :(

[Cori2]

How far along were you?