Aa
Missed miscarriage at 12 weeks
I found out yesterday that despite being 12 weeks pregnant my baby had stopped growing at 7 wks 3 days. Up until Weds I had not had any bleeding or cramps but my pregnancy symptoms had all magically disappeared at about 10 weeks. I'm losing small amounts of blood now and have minor cramping on and off. I'm booked in for removal on Monday. I just find it so distressing that I've been walking around not knowing that my baby had died and that my body hasn't done anything about it.
The hospital weren't at all empathetic, the only person to say sorry for your loss was the radiologist. The early pregnancy nurse did not seem to have a clue about how distressing this kind of news is and spoke to me as if I had just been given the best news ever - .
I've kind of gone in to a state of shock I think, as if it's happening to someone else and not me. Has anyone else felt like that? I think it's all going to hit me like a ton of bricks on Monday.
Another thing that is worrying me is that my step daughter-in-law is due the same time as this one would have been how the hell am I going to cope with that? I haven't told her yet, I want to wait until after she has had her scan as she had a miscarriage in Jan '09 and I know is desperately worried about this pregnancy. My news would just make her panic even more.
Suppose I just feel frustrated, confused, hurt, sad ......
The hospital weren't at all empathetic, the only person to say sorry for your loss was the radiologist. The early pregnancy nurse did not seem to have a clue about how distressing this kind of news is and spoke to me as if I had just been given the best news ever - .
I've kind of gone in to a state of shock I think, as if it's happening to someone else and not me. Has anyone else felt like that? I think it's all going to hit me like a ton of bricks on Monday.
Another thing that is worrying me is that my step daughter-in-law is due the same time as this one would have been how the hell am I going to cope with that? I haven't told her yet, I want to wait until after she has had her scan as she had a miscarriage in Jan '09 and I know is desperately worried about this pregnancy. My news would just make her panic even more.
Suppose I just feel frustrated, confused, hurt, sad ......
i am so sorry. i had one at 14 weeks that showed a baby was only 12 weeks. i had a D&E because of the size of the sack, etc. and to have the baby tested. if you have the choice, get the tissue tested.
i had to host - not just attend - a baby shower like a month after that. then i got preg and miscarried again. while my cousin and another women i know got preg around the same time after their first MC too - but they went the distance. then i got preg again and so did my biz partner. we were 1/2 week apart. she just had hers. and 11 months later i am still trying. but i love her little boy, and he keeps me focused. and you'll be okay.
i know how you feel about sharing the news, i had a ex-coworker tell me she was preg right after my MC. and she was talking about feeling sick and tired. and i realized that if I said "i know it stinks right" that she would wonder how i knew what it felt like unless i was preg (and since she knew darn well i had no kids and no baby or belly that would be awkward). so i kept my mouth shut.
i am soooo sorry. you need to focus on you first. then worry about your step-daughter in-law. it will be shared when it is meant to be shared. if you wait to long she will feel guilty that you suffered to spare her. if you tell her now she will be scared. no way will she just be able to not feel sadness either way because she is a human being :)
you will be very fertile after a MC and you will have better luck the next time. just hang in there and take care of yourself.
i had to host - not just attend - a baby shower like a month after that. then i got preg and miscarried again. while my cousin and another women i know got preg around the same time after their first MC too - but they went the distance. then i got preg again and so did my biz partner. we were 1/2 week apart. she just had hers. and 11 months later i am still trying. but i love her little boy, and he keeps me focused. and you'll be okay.
i know how you feel about sharing the news, i had a ex-coworker tell me she was preg right after my MC. and she was talking about feeling sick and tired. and i realized that if I said "i know it stinks right" that she would wonder how i knew what it felt like unless i was preg (and since she knew darn well i had no kids and no baby or belly that would be awkward). so i kept my mouth shut.
i am soooo sorry. you need to focus on you first. then worry about your step-daughter in-law. it will be shared when it is meant to be shared. if you wait to long she will feel guilty that you suffered to spare her. if you tell her now she will be scared. no way will she just be able to not feel sadness either way because she is a human being :)
you will be very fertile after a MC and you will have better luck the next time. just hang in there and take care of yourself.
I'm SO sorry for your loss! I too had a missed miscarriage and had a D&C done when i was 11 1/2 weeks, the baby stopped at 6 1/2 weeks. It's so hard to understand why my body didn't realize it sooner.
I can't even imagine being due the same time as a family then loose the baby, but stay strong for her. Since she had a miscarriage she will understand. My best advice is to not tell her about the miscarriage (at least not until she's much further along). You don't want to stress her out too much.
I got pregnant after my first cycle after the D&C, it happens, and when you are ready I hope it doesn't take too long to get pregnant again!
Good luck, and happy healing!
I can't even imagine being due the same time as a family then loose the baby, but stay strong for her. Since she had a miscarriage she will understand. My best advice is to not tell her about the miscarriage (at least not until she's much further along). You don't want to stress her out too much.
I got pregnant after my first cycle after the D&C, it happens, and when you are ready I hope it doesn't take too long to get pregnant again!
Good luck, and happy healing!
I too...just went through the same situation. Last friday,2/5/10, I went for a regular checkup and u/s...I was suppose to be 13w5d...there was no heartbeat and the baby only measured to be 11w5d. The doc immediately urged that I should get a D&C the next day to avoid infection. I was devastated...i cried my eyes out in the office so I know what you are feeling. So the next day I had a D&C done. The doc was very sympathetic for me and kept informing me that it wasnt my fault, that it happens but honestly that whole day I kept thinking what did i do wrong...was i stressing too much...is something wrong with me. This was the first pregnancy for both me and my bf and we were so excited. Now I feel anxious to get pregnant again but Im scared out of my mind because I dont want to go through this again. Ive heard so many stories on women getting preg right after natural miscarriages and D&C's so hopefully God blesses you with another pregnancy that will go full term and I have faith that the same will happen to me
Have Faith & Goodluck
Have Faith & Goodluck
I know that you will have a healthy baby when you are ready to try again. This happens to so many women so often. More than likely they go on to have healthy babies the next try. My mom has had one miscarriage right before me... then had me and my 2 sisters. My grandma has 6 kids in between had 3 losses. My sister had one loss 2 healthy babies, then just had another loss. I think the moment we concieve we already feel and behave like a mother. So, regardless of if your baby is 7 weeks or already here it's still going to be very hard to go through.
I have heard of the procedure you are going through just coming accross it by doing research, but never heard of anyone having it. I am sure others have but just thought it was a d&c maybe? Hopefully, it means faster recovery because you will still have a thick lining in your uterus.
Good luck Monday you will be in my thoughts!
I have heard of the procedure you are going through just coming accross it by doing research, but never heard of anyone having it. I am sure others have but just thought it was a d&c maybe? Hopefully, it means faster recovery because you will still have a thick lining in your uterus.
Good luck Monday you will be in my thoughts!
Hi Heather, thanks so much. I shall hold on to the fact that I will feel happiness for my stepson and step daughter-in-law and I won't let any sadness on my part show in front of them. I am keeping my fingers crossed that her scan on Monday is all good.
I'm having something called EARP (Evacuation and Removal of Products of conception), they apparently use suction, so there is no scraping of the uterus like a D&C. I don't know if this means a quicker recovery time or not, not knowing anyone else who has had this procedure. It all just seems so cold and clinical :( as if the fact that the pregnancy had only got to 7wks means I shouldn't be upset!!! Coming and talking to others who are going through or have been through the same thing is a real life support to me at the moment.
The fact that you are now pregnant again and doing well gives me hope, and I really hope that I will be given another chance. I suppose it will take time to heal both physically and emotionally and i must not rush myself or expect too much too soon.
Thank you again :)
I'm having something called EARP (Evacuation and Removal of Products of conception), they apparently use suction, so there is no scraping of the uterus like a D&C. I don't know if this means a quicker recovery time or not, not knowing anyone else who has had this procedure. It all just seems so cold and clinical :( as if the fact that the pregnancy had only got to 7wks means I shouldn't be upset!!! Coming and talking to others who are going through or have been through the same thing is a real life support to me at the moment.
The fact that you are now pregnant again and doing well gives me hope, and I really hope that I will be given another chance. I suppose it will take time to heal both physically and emotionally and i must not rush myself or expect too much too soon.
Thank you again :)
Bernie-
Oh my goodness I am so sorry for your loss :( I have not talked to you directly, but I see you in the August 2010 forum all the time.
Just wanted to tell you had a similar experience my first pregnancy back in June of 2009. Even though I am pregnant now I still stay on this forum to help others going through miscarriage when I can.
I went in for a routine appointment at 11 weeks and found my baby had died at 7 weeks right after I saw the heart beat. I felt lost and empty for a long time and waited 4 months to try for this baby to heal after my d&c. I still think about it and get sad. I kept going over and over in my mind what I did to cause it. But, in realty it just happens and it's nothing you did or didn't do.
My due date just passed on January 13th and I still think about it. My younger sister was pregnant at the same time and had her healthy baby right around Christmas. I thought it would be hard to handle, but I ended up very happy for her and thankful that I have a healthy little niece.
Please let me know if you need someone to talk to I am here. Again, I am very sorry you are going through this.
Oh my goodness I am so sorry for your loss :( I have not talked to you directly, but I see you in the August 2010 forum all the time.
Just wanted to tell you had a similar experience my first pregnancy back in June of 2009. Even though I am pregnant now I still stay on this forum to help others going through miscarriage when I can.
I went in for a routine appointment at 11 weeks and found my baby had died at 7 weeks right after I saw the heart beat. I felt lost and empty for a long time and waited 4 months to try for this baby to heal after my d&c. I still think about it and get sad. I kept going over and over in my mind what I did to cause it. But, in realty it just happens and it's nothing you did or didn't do.
My due date just passed on January 13th and I still think about it. My younger sister was pregnant at the same time and had her healthy baby right around Christmas. I thought it would be hard to handle, but I ended up very happy for her and thankful that I have a healthy little niece.
Please let me know if you need someone to talk to I am here. Again, I am very sorry you are going through this.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Miscarriages Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
