Has anyone else felt this way?

[huizinga4]

So, last new years eve my husband and I lost our first child, after trying for a year and a half. Now here it is July and im not pregnant and  i still think about it. We are still trying, and it seems like everyone else is getting pregnant and having beautiful babies besides us? My cousin called me yesterday morning and told me she was pregnant and I am absolutely so happy for her. But for some reason i cried after she told me.I didnt let her see that. The first chance i got alone i balled.  I think about getting pregnant all the time.But yet i try to forget about it too. But when its around that time of the month thats all i think about is...could i be?  I just don't understand why my husband and I cant get pregnant? Ive been to the doctors and hes said that i am completely fine.Has anyone else felt this way? I try so hard to deal with it and just move on but it just follows me everywhere. I haven't told anyone how i feel. My husband has no idea that i feel this way. Has Anyone else besides me felt this way? How did you get over it?

[Moonflower09]

I understand completely.  It's so HARD!!

My husband and I have been trying to concieve for a year now.  We had one successful pregnancy a year ago, but lost the baby in October.  Since then, nothing.  It is so hard dealing with everyone else getting pregnant.  Since our loss, two girls in our family have gotten pregnant, one just giving birth August 2nd, and the other is due October 11.  Of course, BOTH their due dates correspond with the date of our conception for the first, and the date of our loss for the second.  Life for me certaintaly has it's way of laughing at me in my face.  I was once very close to the first girl, but her actions through her pregnancy and during my mc have been so hurtful.  She blew my mc off like it was "no big deal", and has been very insensitive during her pregnancy.  She made comments to me that I was resentful of her becuase she was pregnant and I wasn't.  I didn't want to go to thier duel baby showers and she acted like that was completely unacceptable.  I even tried to explain to her that it was hard for me and she just went off to the other girl about me and talked very horriably about me behind my back.  She has no idea as to the pain I'm going through and how hard this has been for me.  I've need support and all I've gotten is the cold sholder and bad mouthed.  

Now the baby is here with the other due shortly after.  It's so hard to go to family events when they are there.  We have one coming up tomorrow.  They will be bringing the new baby for the first time and everyone is SO excited.  I'm really dreading this and thinking of not going.  I can't bear it anymore.  We CAN'T get pregnant.  We have activiely been trying again since December and nothing.  I've had very wierd periods over the last 9 months.  Worse than they ever were before.  My cycles are so out of whack.  I was late by three days this last time and just knew we finally hit it, but nope.  It came on anyway, only lasted for 1 full day, stopped, then started back again and was full of thick, dark clots.  I have no idea what's going on with my body.

We got pregnant the first time so easy.  Only tried for one month, then the next - pregnant.  Then I lost it, and now 9 months, nothing.  I'll be 40 soon and it's so hard to accept that it may (and probably) will never happen now.  Being around these girls, watching them go through thier perfectly healthy pregnancies, and having thier beautiful babies is too much to bear.  I know I should be happy for them, and I truly am, but they are a consitant reminder of my pain.  Especially after the first girl said I was being resentful of her.  It's such a hard situation.  We never announced we were pregant, mainly because the weekend we were going to at a family event, she kept telling me and my husband we really should wait becuase of the risk of mc.  I was 8 weeks along and my husband was so excited and ready to tell everyone.  She kept telling him and me that that was a really bad idea, we should wait until after 12 weeks....  so we didn't...  I wish now we would have because having our families support would have been helpful, and of COURSE when she got pregnant they announced it at 8 weeks on Christmas.  

This has made me so depressed.  I'm sorry what you are going through.  I'm right there with you.  I still cry about it and can't get pass the lost.  Our baby was due in May and that was the hardest month to get through.  I even think now that our baby would have been 3 months old....  Whenever I see new babies at that age, my heart aches.  And I feel like "if I could just get pregant again"... I'd feel better and able to accept it, but every month my monthly cycle comes and it sends me into a deeper depression.

I don't think others realize how hard it is.  This has been the most difficult thing I've had to deal with in my life.  

[Jacksons_mommy]

I think that it is common especially with people who experience miscarriages on how you are feeling right now. I feel the same way. You feel like everyone else is pregnant or getting pregnant but you. I think that is because we want to be pregnant so much that we are happy when we hear of someone else being pregnant but we also which that was us. Sometimes you get pregnant right after having a miscarriage others it takes more time. It depends on how long your body takes to heal & if you are ready for it again. If you all are ready for another child, God will bless you with one. I am sorry for your loss & good luck!