I am fairly new to the site, but I am so thankfull to have found it.. Everyone seems like such a nice warm hearted group of people. My story is a lil long but I could use some different opinions.. I know its my decision but it really helps! I am 36, I have two great children 18 &15. I got divorced 8 years ago, So now a single mom I started dating.. before I knew it became pregnant!! At first I was mad, then scared, but then the clouds lifted and well I was on 9!!! I had no symptoms of any issues all looked great.. shortly after 6 months the u/s should my lil girl was gone- I went into a huge depression- but after enough self pitty, I dumped the boyfriend and did major changes(all for the good!!) in my life... 6 years later. I met a wonderful man who is 33 no children.. I have my education now, own my own home and could not ask God for anything more!! Well we decided yes we wanted our first child together..(the fighting has been around WHEN???) he wants next year..Im already feeling too old.. Well God blessed us last month- I was so delighted, he well not so much!! I was shocked at how badly he took the news. But the second I had stomach cramps and low hcgs he and every bit of him changed, he began to hope in both the saftey of me and the baby! We heard the hb.. it was amazing the same day we heard him- I passed tissue and started to bleed well after a week of a uphill battle- and the heart beat stopping I had the dnc this morning, he is in another state and wont be back home for a couple of weeks. I cannot stop crying- he asked if I wanted to try again.(NEXT YEAR) I don't think I do!! I really wanted this so bad, and now I can't see going through this again for a possible 3rd time! Is it normal to be so confused?? any advise?? I don't think not having a child together will end our relationship- and well if it would, would I want it anyway! But I cannot stop thinking about the life changing experience a baby brings!