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missed miscarriage
Just need to know if anyone has been through this. I went in to dr end of Oct 08 for u/s (should have been 10wks) found out we miscarried at 6wks. No miscarriage symtoms at all - it was pretty much a punch in the stomach - we had no idea. Dr. didnt want to do a d&c, wanted me to miscarry naturally. about mid nov 08 I started bleeding and passing big clots. bleeding lasted about 3-4 weeks. I've been going back to the doctor every 2 wks to give blood so they can monitor my hcg levels to make sure they are dropping. Theyve been dropping slowing, but have been dropping. end of dec 08 my levels were at 319 (in oct 08 they were 48,000). just got word from doctor this morning that my levels are only at 51. dr now wants to do a d&c. I've been dealing with this whole thing for 4 months!! If I could do it all over I would have had a d&c back in oct. I'm just so frustrated. I would love to hear if anyone has been through similar situation.
The arrogance of the man!! No apology i suppose for keeping you waiting for 1hr?? He's unbelievable. Not all drs will be like this but, with such an upsetting situation anyway, it's so distressing if you have an unsympathetic and unhelpful dr.
I completely understand exactly how upsetting this is for you - another u/s was 'needed' so that could confirm exactly what I knew already - and 2 bloodtests were also 'needed' so that they could confirm whether it was the same pregnancy - or another one - when I already told them it was the same one! I should know! It's so frustrating - and upsetting -like your voice doesn't matter at all and you're only an insignificant part in a procedure. When actually, they only have that job due to the pregnant women!
You're having such a tough time at the moment and my heart goes out to you.
I completely understand exactly how upsetting this is for you - another u/s was 'needed' so that could confirm exactly what I knew already - and 2 bloodtests were also 'needed' so that they could confirm whether it was the same pregnancy - or another one - when I already told them it was the same one! I should know! It's so frustrating - and upsetting -like your voice doesn't matter at all and you're only an insignificant part in a procedure. When actually, they only have that job due to the pregnant women!
You're having such a tough time at the moment and my heart goes out to you.
hi to everyone
i am new at this forum. I have r4ead all the stories and i'm really shoked by every story. I had a misscarriage on jan 09. I was excited about becoming a mother for the first time. When my hcg levels weren't rising as they should doctor told me i should have an ultrasound. In adittionto that, i was having back and abdominal pain, also i started to spot a little. after going to the hospital for my first ultrasound, dr told me that it looked everythin was ok by that time, an that it was too soon to know if the pregnancy was in risk. one week later i started bleeding so bad, so i called the nurse of the place i go. SHe told me to wait 'til the next day, and that if i satrted to bleed more i should call her back. Obviously the pain i was having was insoportable and too bad that i didn't listen, and i went to the emergency room. there they made me an ultrasound. And the dr in a cold voice told me that the baby wasn't there anymore. the sack was empty. I didnt believe the way that he was telling me about the misscarriage. I cried. And 2 and a half weeks later my hcg levels got to 0. I was only 4 weeks, but even with only 4 weeks, i loved my baby and i don't care if people say that with 4 weeks of prenancy is not a baby. well for a mother it is a baby. And has a soul. Everything i lived was traumatazing for me. I have to make clear here that not all doctors i saw were that rude and cold as the one i mentioned before. There are very good drs, that have feelings, care for their patients and know how to treat humans. In conclusion all the stories in this forum have been very hard to go trough. I admire all of you girls. Becuase everyone here has being so brave. God bless everyone here, and your families. And let me tell u that God can heal anything just trust in him.
i am new at this forum. I have r4ead all the stories and i'm really shoked by every story. I had a misscarriage on jan 09. I was excited about becoming a mother for the first time. When my hcg levels weren't rising as they should doctor told me i should have an ultrasound. In adittionto that, i was having back and abdominal pain, also i started to spot a little. after going to the hospital for my first ultrasound, dr told me that it looked everythin was ok by that time, an that it was too soon to know if the pregnancy was in risk. one week later i started bleeding so bad, so i called the nurse of the place i go. SHe told me to wait 'til the next day, and that if i satrted to bleed more i should call her back. Obviously the pain i was having was insoportable and too bad that i didn't listen, and i went to the emergency room. there they made me an ultrasound. And the dr in a cold voice told me that the baby wasn't there anymore. the sack was empty. I didnt believe the way that he was telling me about the misscarriage. I cried. And 2 and a half weeks later my hcg levels got to 0. I was only 4 weeks, but even with only 4 weeks, i loved my baby and i don't care if people say that with 4 weeks of prenancy is not a baby. well for a mother it is a baby. And has a soul. Everything i lived was traumatazing for me. I have to make clear here that not all doctors i saw were that rude and cold as the one i mentioned before. There are very good drs, that have feelings, care for their patients and know how to treat humans. In conclusion all the stories in this forum have been very hard to go trough. I admire all of you girls. Becuase everyone here has being so brave. God bless everyone here, and your families. And let me tell u that God can heal anything just trust in him.
Update - went to the doctor yesterday - let me first add that I waited ONE HOUR in the room for him to finally show up. I try to have a positive attitude about everything and him and then that happens. He was concerned that after 4 months, my numbers haven't dropped to 0. 3 wks ago I was at 62 and only dropped to 51. He was throwing around the idea that this was a molar pregnancy, which I really just find hard to believe. I have/had absolutely none of the symptoms for molar preg. The only reason he was bringing up that was that my numbers weren't dropping fast enough. My #'s have always dropped - not once have they started to rise. So had to have ANOTHER u/s and there seems to still be some tissue there which is what I suspected. Didn't need an u/s for that. My hope was that I would have a period and anything left might be flushed out and then my #'s would drop, but how long do I wait for a period. He is suggesting a D&C. I guess I am just SO SO frustrated because at the beginning we were never really given any options - he wanted us to miscarry naturally. Well being that this was our first time at all this -we didn't know any better - he's the doctor. Well if I could do it all over - I would have scheduled that D&c right then and this would all be over with. To have this drag on for 4 months is CRAZY!! I'm past having lost the baby - I just want my body back to normal. I told my husband last night that I just want to be normal for a few months. I don't want to talk about babies, having babies or nothing. This has just been the worst experience. I beleive that if it hadn't dragged out for so long that my attitude would have been much different. I blame the doctor on all this in a way. I'm finishing everything with this doctor and then I will be moving on to someone else.
thanks for the vent. :)
thanks for the vent. :)
I'm sorry for your loss. I have not been in your situation but I have been on the other end and have had complications from a d and e and d and c. You just never know with a pg or miscarriage anything can happen. Just make sure your blood is being tested to make sure infections hasn't set in. Best wishes to you and let me know what happens. Take care and stay rested....
AP
AP
hi i'm new on this site and just wanted to say that i'm sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you i can't believe that they made you go through all that heartache and pain i too misscarried in 10/12/08 when i was 20 weeks and 3 days with my little girl. i didn't have to go through all that i did delivered my little girl naturally with a epadural that didn't work at all i felt all the labor pains and felt it when she came out.
No, it seems to be very common the insensitivity....I even asked the nurse if they had some resources I could turn to for information or support and they didn't have such a list. I mean, they give you a whole book on pregnancy and birth when you first go there...and if miscarriage is as common as they say it is, they should have a miscarriage book or at least a list of websites/books/hotlines etc. you can turn to. If I had a nickle for every time my doc said "we aren't surprised...it is very common"....I snapped at him the one time and I said "I know it might be common but to me, it is not common and it's very devestating" and you know what he said "well sometimes life doesn't work out perfectly." Me and my hormones wanted to slap him!!!! I just said...whatever....
riley10-I am so sorry to hear about everything you've been through, it is heart breaking. I also had a missed in Feb m/c at 16.5w and had to deliver my baby naturally, our baby lost life at around 12w. I had a not very good experience with my long time ob/gyn. I have actually switched since then b/c of her insensitivity. I hope everything goes well and all of this can be over for you so that you can start to heal emotionally. Take care hun
i'm sorry you are having such a difficult time.
as if it's not difficult enough - there seems to be at least one doctor who makes it that much worse. why can't they provide some assistance, especially at this sad time?
i was really disillusioned with medical staff after my sad loss - i never believed they could be so unhelpful.
hope a d&c will help.
thinking of you at this extremely sad time.
as if it's not difficult enough - there seems to be at least one doctor who makes it that much worse. why can't they provide some assistance, especially at this sad time?
i was really disillusioned with medical staff after my sad loss - i never believed they could be so unhelpful.
hope a d&c will help.
thinking of you at this extremely sad time.
I think that's what made my sad loss soooooooo difficult. not only was i trying to 'cope' with the loss of my much-wanted baby - but i had to 'cope' with the unacceptable attitude of medical staff.
it was extremely distressing to be told that 'products of conception' were still present at my 4th scan 1) it was already distressing to have learnt that my baby had no heartbeat at the 2nd scan 2) the consultant's offensive terminology about my baby added to my distress - my baby wasn't some kind of 'waste product' - he was referring to my 'baby' 3) to learn there were still 'pieces' of my baby 'present' in feb 07 - despite the scan in sept 06 identifying that my baby had no heart-beat was extremely traumatic 4) to tell me this and then leave me to continue to bleed added to the distress.
medical personnel - especially those who deal with miscarriage - should have SOME personal skills that they can use to provide 'care'. in my situation, their lack of any personal skills added to my distress.
it's really sad to know that other babies are also referred to in this way as well - i felt at that time that it was only mine
it was extremely distressing to be told that 'products of conception' were still present at my 4th scan 1) it was already distressing to have learnt that my baby had no heartbeat at the 2nd scan 2) the consultant's offensive terminology about my baby added to my distress - my baby wasn't some kind of 'waste product' - he was referring to my 'baby' 3) to learn there were still 'pieces' of my baby 'present' in feb 07 - despite the scan in sept 06 identifying that my baby had no heart-beat was extremely traumatic 4) to tell me this and then leave me to continue to bleed added to the distress.
medical personnel - especially those who deal with miscarriage - should have SOME personal skills that they can use to provide 'care'. in my situation, their lack of any personal skills added to my distress.
it's really sad to know that other babies are also referred to in this way as well - i felt at that time that it was only mine
I hate that term too sue14!!! That's what is on the pathology study when they get it back after the d&c.....mine was over 7 weeks and I don't care it is still a baby in my eyes...I sometimes detest the "scientific" manner in which doctors handle these situations. I'm sure it's just part of the job but a little sensitivity goes a long way....i didn't get much from mine either and I am also considering changing drs. Anyway, riley...I also had a missed miscarriage with no symptoms whatsoever (found out by u/s on 2/13) and the doctor gave me an option of natural m/c or d&c and I had to think about it over the weekend and I dedided I just couldn't handle it emotionally to wait it out. A week later I had the d&c. At my followup the dr. said my cervix was still closed and soft so apparently my body wasn't ready to let go of the pregnancy. I'm pretty sure I would have had a long go of it if I had tried. I can't believe you have been dealing with this so long....that must be awful. Emotionally I think I will be better sooner because when the physical aspect of things is better I think I am better prepared to move on...to have intermittent bleeding for that many months would have put me in a depressive state! I think your dr. wants to do the d&c because if your blood levels are still showing something then there may be some placental material still left in there. Have they done another ultrasound to see what is going on???
uuugghh I absolutely hate the term "products of conception". From the moment I found out that my baby had passed the dr's started using that term. I was almost 18 wks pregnant & I am pretty positive it was my baby NOT products of conception!!!!!
I'm so sorry for your loss and I completely understand. You are exactly right when you mentioned that dr's have no clue on how to help. When we found out we miscarried (1) we were obviously upset (2) dr gave us no insight as to our options (3) mentioned he didn't want to do a d&c, wanted me to miscarry naturally and to give blood if I can before I leave and then he left the room. Well at the time I was no expert on miscarriages (not that I am now, but I surely know much more) and figured he was the doctor and knew what was best. I've been very displeased with this doctor and if my husband and I decide to try again - we will not be returning to him. I'm staying with him just till all this is done and then moving on.
I was saddened to hear what you're going through, I understand how difficult it is to loose a baby and how unhelpful medical people are at this extremely sad time.
I was advised at my 2nd scan (in Sept 05 - when I was 3 mths pregnant) that my much-wanted baby had no heart-beat and was told to wait for a miscarriage that could happen at any time in the future and that it would be like a 'heavy period'. Despite asking for medical assistance many times, i was left to miscarry 4 mths later (in Jan 06) - and this frightening event wasn't anything like a heavy period at all! I continued to bleed.
In Feb 06 the hospital offered me a 'simple operation that uses a local anasthetic, a D&C' - but I was advised by a miscarriage charity to request another ultrasound scan first - especially as they informed me it was not a 'local anesthetic proceedure but, rather, was major surgery using general anesthetic'!! After my 4th scan, afew days later in Feb 06, it was extremely distressing to be advised that, although 'products of conception' were still present, there was no apparent 'need' for a D&C at all!! I still continued to bleed.
With hindsight, I would have demanded a D&D after my 2nd scan - as the mental and physical trauma to this situation was extremely difficult to deal at the time - and is still difficult to deal with today.
Drs have no clue at all how to help - or how upsetting they make this - already distressing - situation!
I really hope you can some medical assistance - especially at this extremely sad time.
I was advised at my 2nd scan (in Sept 05 - when I was 3 mths pregnant) that my much-wanted baby had no heart-beat and was told to wait for a miscarriage that could happen at any time in the future and that it would be like a 'heavy period'. Despite asking for medical assistance many times, i was left to miscarry 4 mths later (in Jan 06) - and this frightening event wasn't anything like a heavy period at all! I continued to bleed.
In Feb 06 the hospital offered me a 'simple operation that uses a local anasthetic, a D&C' - but I was advised by a miscarriage charity to request another ultrasound scan first - especially as they informed me it was not a 'local anesthetic proceedure but, rather, was major surgery using general anesthetic'!! After my 4th scan, afew days later in Feb 06, it was extremely distressing to be advised that, although 'products of conception' were still present, there was no apparent 'need' for a D&C at all!! I still continued to bleed.
With hindsight, I would have demanded a D&D after my 2nd scan - as the mental and physical trauma to this situation was extremely difficult to deal at the time - and is still difficult to deal with today.
Drs have no clue at all how to help - or how upsetting they make this - already distressing - situation!
I really hope you can some medical assistance - especially at this extremely sad time.
My hcg levels have been dropping every time I go give blood. In Dec they were at 319. In Jan they had dropped to 119. On 2/10 I dropped to 62 (finally under 100). I just went and gave blood Monday and my results were only 51. so in 3 weeks I had only dropped 11. Dr wants me to come in tomorrow to discuss. I believe he wants to do a d&c since this has dragged on since end of Oct. I was really hoping to avoid it since I'm so close to zero. I haven't had a period since I miscarried. I was hoping I would have a period and that would flush out anything that was left. this has just been the most miserable experience. This would have been the 1st child for my husband and I (he's 41 and I'm 39). We were SO SO excited when we went to the doctor at the end of Oct for the U/s. We wanted to see how much the baby had grown since beginning of Oct. I had all the pregnancy symtoms and absolutley no miscarriage symptoms, so it was quite a shocker. It has been horrible having to go to the doctor every few weeks and do this. I really just want to "be normal". My husband and I aren't even sure we want to try again after this experience. its just been very very sad and we so want to move on from it.
I am so sorry for your loss, and there is nothing one can say to a mother who has lost a child. I had a missed m/c june 08. I woke up one mourning and new somethiing was wrong, i was 10w3d, 3 days after my 32nd birthday. i went to er to find out baby had no heart beat and was measuring 10w1d. I waited a week to see if heartbeat could be seen then and nothing, so i had a d&c. It took 4 weeks for my levels to get to zero. And 5 months to get preggo again.
I think her Dr wants to do a D&C bcuz its a possiblity that some tissue could be stuck to the uterus still, making hcg levels rise slowly, or decrease very slowly. And by now her hcg levels shouldve been at zero. Thats just what i assume, bcuz its march already, and normally Doctors give you 6-8weeks for levels to drop then want to see you after that if its taking longer.
Again i am so sorry for your loss and that it is taking all these months to go threw that, that has to be very painful and hard to move on.
I will keep you in my prayers
I think her Dr wants to do a D&C bcuz its a possiblity that some tissue could be stuck to the uterus still, making hcg levels rise slowly, or decrease very slowly. And by now her hcg levels shouldve been at zero. Thats just what i assume, bcuz its march already, and normally Doctors give you 6-8weeks for levels to drop then want to see you after that if its taking longer.
Again i am so sorry for your loss and that it is taking all these months to go threw that, that has to be very painful and hard to move on.
I will keep you in my prayers
I'm sorry you're going through this ordeal. I feel your pain, but in a different way. I had a natural miscarry of twins over labor day weekend last year. It took almost 8 wks for AF to show up. Finally Halloween week I started. Unfortunately it was not a normal cycle & was painful. I found out I was preg again... My hcg level was ok, but my ultrasound showed an empty sac on halloween. I went in the next monday & it was gone so dr assumed it was another miscarry. @ days later I was crampy pretty bad & got a surprise call from the dr. telling me to get in asap for blood work because my hcg levels were rising...actually more than doubling. Come to find out it was a tubal pregnancy & I had to have a methotrexate injection to terminate it. This process took about 2 weeks to get to the point where I got the shot. It was almost New Years before my hcg went down to normal. I know it seems like cruel & unusual punishment to go in & sit w/all those pregnant women while you're trying to "get back to normal". I'm SO SO SO sorry for your situation. Has your dr said why he wants to do a D & C now after waiting 4 months??? Do you have signs of infection or something that makes him want to do it now after all this time?
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