Oh please someone with wisdom help this increasingly bad tempered lassy. I am getting worse and worse in how I talk to medics, and the more they withdraw the more I get angry. It's become something of a 'conditioned response' with me. I am amazed anyone is helping me, I really do not care any more what names I call them.
My GP is my last shot at staying in the system, and he is proving to be the kind that annoys me most. Big ego, always knows better than the patient, won't make referrals at my request just to show me who's boss. I never, ever, wanted a GP. It's just the stupid system in this country now, you can't get referred by anyone else.
Whenever I pick up on a doctor being lazy, incompetent, disrespectful, anything these days, I just let rip. They all know I am in a lot of pain which is why I maybe haven't (yet), been carted off in a straightjacket, but I need to get a grip. Seriously, I am losing it with these people.
There are so many fights going on about old issues to be resolved, so much irritation with any procrastination towards a diagnosis (it was the dam GP who suggested SLE, and now he isn't doing the referral until he's ready!!!!!), like I have all the time in the world. I am actually scared I'm going to slap someone one day.
Should I check myself into a mental unit? Is this a side effect of my pills? Or am I just a grumpy old git?
I need time out away from hospitals. But there's work starting next month and the referrals I do have and I am absolutely dependant on this doctor prescribing my A word pills, of which he is not increasing what needs to be increased.
Eyes still hurt. Think the drops every hour etc is helping a little but really don't trust myself to go back as they said if I am still in pain.
WHY am I working in medicine? Apart from all that is going on and my feelings about the whole profession. Really, i need some behavioural techniques like they do with dogs to stop me biting doctors and now nurses too. Maybe they think I'm senile or something...
Anyone else here with a temper? How do you deal with it? I am even on high dose valium for muscle problems and it just makes me angrier I think!
Used the term on another post I think 'bear with a sore head' - that's me right now.