Why do I look sick?

[Sidesteps]

I hear that MS is the invisible disease but... I look sick. Mostly, I look tired I think. Of course, I feel tired. I look like I have aged 10 years in 2.

I sometimes notice my eyes look uneven probably because they are uneven now that I have visual dimming in my right eye from ON. My eye is working harder. I have had TN or facial nerve issues since it's numb near that same eye it's not that the eye droops, no, it looks bigger and uneven.

I thought this was the invisible disease, if that's the case, why do I look sick?

I am a bit bummed tonight. I am tired of not feeling well.

[Lulu54]

The San Juans?  You make me so envious that you are in that glorious part of the Pacific Northwest.  I have visited  twice and love every moment when  I am there.

As for appearances, you have been hit so many times over and over with problems, so of course it is going to reflect in your outward appearance.  Think about people with newborn babies and how they drag around because of lack of sleep.  Those new moms often have trouble even having the time and energy to shower, and put on new clothes.  But it gets better for them.  I think you will find as your MS is stabilized through treatment, you wll see a change in the mirror.

New hair color?  Love the idea- a makeover always does wonders to lift our spirits.

Go enjoy the ferry ride - I hope it is a beautiful day on the Sound.
hugs,
L

[SarahL2491]

I feel I've aged 20 years also and I certainly don't want to be THAT age feeling like this at my age.  Not sure I follow that sentence but I too feel like I look like crap.  

[Sidesteps]

Awww, thank you. It makes me feel better to know others noticed the same. I am going to find a way to adjust to the ups and downs this disease brings. Thank you all again!

[sllowe]

Hi SS,

I think you are beautiful :)
I remember looking back at pics from 07 and 08 and early 09 and man did I look rough - tired eyes, too thin, sickly for sure to those who know me. Those who didn't were none-the-wiser (from my guess).

At the time, I did not realize just how invisible the disease really was because my mirror, body and mind said completely the opposite too. The invisible  people struggle with came later for me as I stabilized and adjusted.

Your in the thick of it girl, and it rots, and I believe also the battle ages us. Put something on that makes you feel comfortable, and find those simple pleasures that don't take too much energy out of you. This can't be forced, but better days can come.
((((Hugs)))
shell

[Guitar_grrrl]

Aww, SS, sorry you're feeling bad.  I often look in the mirror and see myself as looking "tired".  I haven't felt "normal" in 3 years.  So I guess this is my new normal.  I take the time to put on clean clothes, a little mascara and lip gloss, and, well, life goes on.

It's really fun to see what a new 'do and brightly colored piggies do for your outlook.  That, and being outside in some fresh air.  

Feel Good...

[debgen]

You go girl! Glam your self up and go have some fun!
(((hugs)))
Deb

[Sidesteps]

Thank you guys.

I have looked so tired and sick at times I've been worried there was an underlying condition. I just look and feel sick when I am flared...which has been a lot. I am now on flare number 8 or 9 but it seems like I have never been really well. Hopefully this medicine will kick in along with some lifestyle changes. I hope.

Alex, I gotta get that book. I am laying in bed too (with my iPad) and trying to rest up as I have a long day. I have to take my son to his game on one of the beautiful Puget Sound islands. If you haven't looked up this area it's so beautiful. Check out San Juan Islands. Ferry ride for us and hopefully some nice scenery.

I decided to make an appointment to get my hair, toes and nails done. I may do something drastic like dye my hair dark. I think that will cover my tired eyes and bags. ;) I might buy a nice outfit for the new job I landed. A girls gotta do what she's gotta do....lol. :)

[Sailorsong]

if you think you look sick then I must really be bad off in the looks department. The bags under my eyes have bags..I think they want to go away on vacation from my body. LOL

I have made it a rule for me to not look into any mirrors when I am feeling really bad as I don't want to see just how bad I look on those days. I figure why let myself get even more down by seeing just how bad I look. But of course living alone gives me that option since I don't have to look good for the family around.

I hope you get to feeling and looking non-sick soon.

Dennis

[tingletingle]

Ditto about the beautiful comment and I'd even add caring, sensitive, and sublime to the list. Ok, ok

Poor SS, it is just awful this stage isn't it? I used to have family and friends say I looked 'different'. I was a funny yellow color at times and also looked strange around the creases of my eyes.

All that has changed for me in the last couple of months. My Mum saw me recently and commented that I looked like my old self again. So I think it must just a stage that we go through when our bodies are inflamed and trying to cope with the disease.

I'm in bed right now, the slacker that I am, on a bright beautiful Saturday arvo but my body says sleep and nowadays I try to listen to it within reason.

So dear SS please be gentle on yourself. Rest up sleeping beauty and I am confident that one day soon your face will return to its former glory.

Blessings
Alex

[supermum_ms]

um how would you know cause your eyes are so wonkie weird lol kidding but i am saying your probably not the best judge of self, um but when are we ever? Though when your feeling "bummed and tired" is soooooo not the time to self analyse how you look, now is it?!

I do think its subjective, if your wearing your happy face and dolled up with a bit of lippy, and wearing matching clothes (lol) then you can still be in your worst moments but your outward apearance doesn't show it. People also tell others, they look great when they dont really, lol it takes gutts to actually tell someone to their face that they look like cr@p.

And then there's perception, non MSers often think worst case senario so they are more surprised that the pwMS isn't on their last legs (lol you get the point) Lay peoples expectations of diseases like MS are at odds with the reality, so they express their surprise by saying "you look so good" or words to that affect. But do we really?

Well sometimes we do and somtimes we look as cr@ppy as we feel, but how many people are really going to tell you that. Whats a white lie between friends, "no you bum doesnt look big in that" um yeah right lol Believe me its not just you, it might feel like it at the moment but its not just you, we really do look like cr@p sometimes!!

Hugs..........JJ

[Kurt25]

You actually look beautiful ;)
(meant as a compliment).
It must be fatigue and stress. I feel I aged 20 years in the last 2 months.