CAN DR'S REALLY UNDERSTAND.

[richsticks2000]

Why am I going through depression & pain? Nobody not even the Dr's can assure me that things may get better. Everytime I go there is another test then meds are given...THEN I'm told that things will be ok soon. I don't believe they understand the pain which I go through. I simply say that the pain is here and smetimes there. My arm or leg even feels like I broke it! Swelling just happens sometimes along with anxiety attacks! I've done it all & now I have this DCS in my back. I can't explain what the pain fels like cuz its like all of the above. I'm really OMG...I really believe someone understands me. Is there a open door at the end of this tunnel? Pls help me

[HVAC]

My Neurologist and PCP pretty much tell me the truth is this  is what I have to deal with and I just have to live with it. It comes out wrong, they care there is just little they can do with their crazy busy schedules. I have a Psychologist who specializes in Chronic Diseases.

For me depression is a funny thing. I have had MS since childhood ( I just learned a few years ago ) and depression. I can not point to when I cross the line in to a bout of  severe depression. I am there now. For awhile I try to ignore it and hope it will go away and then I just can't.

There are complicating factors. Lots of pain which I can't get good sleep with and I just get tired of. I am in pain all the time. Anger and fear at not being able to simple things I used to. Fear of the future.

Fear I am going to need help. I am not built that way. My life has been if I did not do it for myself it did not get done. Going to work, puking with a migraine.

Depression because I really can't afford my medical expenses. I am there now and still functioning with the MS. I surely can't afford any more medical care than monitoring. What am I supposed to do as things get worse, just do with out. That is what I do now.

Guilt for putting these costs on my family.

Then the stress causes more symptoms which need more care than I can't afford. It sometimes seems hopeless.

It is not. I have a lot of people who love me. I have to take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour.

I have rarely had a day in my life that was all bad. There are moments of levity. There are distractions from pain and depression. I have to seek out as many distracting good minutes I can. Yesterday I had a humming bird fly right up and hover at face level, how cool is that.

I used to add up every, bad, painful, irritating moment and say see this is the sum of my life. Now I try to do the opposite. It is not easy.

Life is complicated. I have more than I ever dreamed of a husband, a modest home, I am riding a nice lady's horses, I am an artist, lots of animals, and many friends. On the other side I had a crappy childhood, inherited many diseases possibly because all the substances my mother surrounded herself with. I was finally free when of the madness when my mother, my last crazy family member died. I thought I have been through the ringer for my first 44 years God will give me a break, right.  God laughed at my arrogance.Then I have my physical and the Doctor decides I have MS . I did not go in and say I have this bothering me. Not just MS but a progressive form I had had my whole life and not known it. The testing ate up all my rainy day savings from my inheritance.

I am learning to regroup. It is like a teeter totter I never keep it balanced. I go a little one way or the other. Then I realize I am out of balance and try to get back to the middle.

Depression is my most dangerous symptom. I get real logical and think up some dumb solutions. I have to once I am there reach out. I call my Psychiatrist and tell him the truth. I tell my psychologist the truth. These folks know me really well. I do not tell friends what I am thinking because I do not need to worry them but I do tell them I am depressed.

My friends help distract me when I am depressed or in pain. They know I am out for a pity party.

It used to be when I was depressed I thought I had always been depressed and would always be depressed. This time, I said to my Doctor I know I will be okay, I have not been here in awhile and I now know I will go back up.

I have also written tools. When I am depressed I forget all about them. I know so much about all kinds of therapy models, etc. but when it is me depressed common sense goes out the window.

Alex

[richsticks2000]

I've been diag with MS then Fibro for about a year. Prior to that I've had multiple surgeries to assist me with the multiple issues to a broken done spine. Its been 17yrs in the works and there will be no further surgeries. The surgeries assisted me with my pain for a moment then you guest it...it hame back. This all began with a severe car accident 17yrs ago. As you all may know this depression started when I lost control of this pain then apply the first time you explained to a Dr of your issue ...what does he/she d next....gives you the face that has (HUH WHAT) written all over it.
Its been yrs of the same old thing to being given a diag that seems like OK WHATEVER. I believe part of me can't deal with the fact that there isn't a cure. The other part is...Why did it take so long to diag what I have! I have a pain mang Dr but there is so much anyone may do after all of this time. MY JOB IS TO HELP PPL THAT MAYNOT HELP THEMSELVES IN A CRISIS. I have degrees upon degrees for this! Now I'm having problems helping myself and I can't keep a job long due to the severity of ..OH BOY ...MY BODY & MEDS. I am so upset that I cannot give ppl what they deserve. That is a huge part of my depression. I didn't keep a med journal until today so thankyou all for this push. I'm also upset because I've been told by the Dr's that it is unfortunate that I MUST take meds for the rest of my life. That is what I. Don't want to do. However, the truth is as simple as that. Why don't I wish to listen? I'm a man of control yet I don't believe I have it. You never know what your going to wake up with nor do you know when you will fall asleep...I believe I added a lot to work with now but if I didn't pls ask. ALL of this help is great! I went to the Dr's today & he just shook his head and simply said, this is what you have and I'll see you next month.

[Sumanadevii]

Unfortunately meds to control pain can cause depression...Talk about the dog chasing his tail.  If you have depression, doctors are less apt to prescribe pain meds.  I guess you can understand why>  Many with depression will try treating their depression with pain meds.  Doctors aren't too keen on that.

Maybe going to a pain clinic?  They may have some ideas to treat both.

[HVAC]

Unfortunately Doctors can not feel our pain or Depression. The good ones listen and try to help. They need as specific information as possible. Have you thought of keeping a symptoms journal? Then there is the issue that there is no one drug that fits all. I have dealt with bad depression and pain all my life. I also keep a journal of the drugs I have been on and why each did not work so I do not need to keep trying the same ones. On the other hand our medical system is designed to work on one issue at a time and when you have multiple symptoms or problems like I do that makes it hard. My Family Doctor tells me only one problem per appointment, as does my Neurologist. It is hard when like me you have so many.

Alex

[doublevision1]

Can you elaborate on your situation?  It's not clear to me whether you are diagnosed with MS or currently being evaluated for it.  You mention multiple tests and meds...can you be more specific?  
Depression and pain are symptoms of MS; depression is also a potential side effect of some MS drugs.  Both depression and pain are treatable; patients respond to treatment differently for a variety of reasons.  
If you can provide some detail and context it would help me and others here to provide some advice and/or support to you.