How do you not lose it on the phone

[HVAC]

Long story short. I have a chemotherapy drug which has one pharmacy dispenses. I run out of my drug which I get every two weeks on Wednesday. Today they said they were not going to refill it.

I blew up at the lady on the phone. I got pretty nasty. I used to get so mad at shared solutions I quit Copaxone for good.

My problem is blowing up. It helps no one. There system is flawed but that really is not my problem. How do people keep their cool.

Alex

[HVAC]

I went to my regular pharmacy turns out the chemo script was sent to them. No way I would have guessed that. I still think Biologics should have called me when they usually fill my two weeks supply. I run out today and do not have the script yet. It might still come.

Alex

[SarahL2491]

Oh that so sounds like dealing with the  specialty pharmacy for Tecfidera which was one of the reasons I gave up on them and the drug.

I have a pharmacy that I won't mention that is just as incompetent but they know me and anytime its a drug over $30, they approach me with kid gloves!  Usually I will refuse to buy it but there is one I must have so I don't complain.

I have one that I have to have the neuro send me on paper and I have to walk it personally to the pharmacy EVERY month!  It's a pain but……when isn't MS a pain.  It's like my cardio visit yesterday, every time I would voice a complaint, his answer would be like "well do you think its cardio or MS related?"  (ah, I'm just the patient here)….

Don't beat yourself up over it; you have been thru sooooo much, they will just have to get over it.  It happens to all of us at one time or another and probably more to people without MS

Hugs
Sarah

[slaytheday]

Hi.

  As blowups go yours sounds pretty mild.  But I don't do mild well so I keep away from people as much as I can.

  I don't understand why you have been burdened with being placed between your dr. and your pharmacy.  Perhaps your dr. can give them an actual phone call.  Or perhaps your dr. has an Office Manager with whom you can speak.  They can be helpful.  You need a Manager to Manager talk for Them to get this resolved for you.

  Quit beating yourself up over this.  You're only human and we humans sometimes go automatically into attack mode instead of assertiveness mode.

  But since your reaction is bothering you so much work on assertiveness.

  Shame on your doc and shame on the pharmacy.

Blessings,

  Melinda

[jensequitur]

I really hate the system right now, because the onus is upon you to fix whatever problem there is. If you're sick and barely able to function, too bad - you should have filed that paperwork last week.

I don't blame you at all for blowing up. MAybe it'll open doors, when a polite knock won't work.

[HVAC]

They send the doctor all this paper work. She faxes it back. They say they did not get the fax. She does it again the same thing. She is only allowed to fill for two months. They do this every time. She had just told me that day she had filled out and sent in all the paper work.They expect me to fix it. How can I fix it? "What I said was do you even care if I die of cancer. All you are in it for is the money". This is chemo we are talking about and they waited for me to call.

Anyway I need to not blow up.

Alex

[jensequitur]

Why in the hell aren't they refilling your medication? Insurance companies are no longer allowed to write off customers.

[Corriel]

Oh Alex, what an awful thing to go through.

I hope you aren't beating yourself up over losing your cool. When it comes to our health, snafus like what you are experiencing (to put it nicely) are personal and whether or not being nasty is appropriate (sometimes the person on the other end goads us into it by not fully comprehending the severity of the situation) it is more than understandable.

I acted in a similar way last fall when I went to put away my 3 month old a/c unit and found that it was rusting. The horrific customer service was completely foreign to me. This machine is vital to my health and to be bounced around, have entire calls not recorded on my file, never getting phone calls when they said they would call, etc....wore me down.

I started apologizing at the beginning of each phone call to this company because I just knew that one more person was going to lie or promise something with no follow through.

Your medication is critical and it doesn't get any more personal than that. We all make mistakes in the heat of the moment and hopefully the next time you have to deal with them, you will have someone on the other end who is more helpful/sympathetic to the needs of their client. If that person can't do what is required then ask to speak to their supervisor, that focuses people nicely on the task at hand or you get to speak to someone who CAN help.

Hugs,
Corrie

[supermum_ms]

Generally, if you were regularly and easily loosing your cool, no matter if it was big or a little thing, I'd be recommending you consider seeing a psych or counsellor to help you control your stress levels, learn coping skills, writing or talk therapy to relieve the pressure etc

BUT your talking about holding onto your self control, when ever your blind sided by mind boggling incompetent bureaucracy that causes serious repercussions......which is not the same thing as having self control issues!

It's not easy to learn how to prepare your self on how to handle them, the type of situations your talking about would topple anyone's self control! Sometimes anger and frustration is the understandable reaction, but it's perfectly okay to end the phone call whilst you take a moment to process the unexpected upsetting information. Call back when your more in control or get someone else to speak to them on your behalf, if dealing with these types of situations are too big a trigger...

Toxic words spoken in the heat of the moment though are within everyone's control, sometimes I think you can get a lot more self control with understanding that your language and mannerisms are what will either increase someone's motivation to be involved with you or do the opposite and erode their motivation completely.

When you unleash your frustration and hurt at customer service personnel, either in person or over the phone, your also unwittingly creating a situation where the receiving person, is incapable of focusing on working out a solution to fix your problem whilst they are feeling attacked. You inadvertently get them focusing on handling your aggressive behaviour and trigger their coping self preservation skills, than focusing on the main problem of resolving the impact towards your serious medical issue.

Customer service people are typically trained and encouraged to try to calm aggressive situations but if their attempts fail, there's usually a policy in place for staff to pass the customer onto a supervisor or to end contact as politely as possible. One of the basic conflict resolution rules taught, is to NEVER loose your temper.......customer service personal are repeatedly told a customer is always right but the reality is that no company condones abusive behaviour, the aggressor is held accountable and the why behind it is lost...    

When all is said and done, if you basically need a resolution for a known or unexpected problem, I highly recommend keeping firmly in your mind, the understanding that it is always 100% in your best interest to keep customer service personal focused on finding a solution to your problem and positively motivated in helping you, so never loose your temper cause it doesn't help YOU!

HUGS............JJ