My archives.....

[Lulu54]

Hi all,
I was looking for something else and was checking my WATCH LIST (its under your shortcuts)
and came to the end of the list and my very first post here at medhelp - it's at
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/581550?personal_page_id=5829
if you are intersted in the details. I didn't want to bring that discussion up to page 1 because it really is old news.

However, I did want to talk about finding this original post.  I read it all with interest, and have to honestly say it brought out some emotions about having MS that I thought I had reconciled a while ago.  It has left me again with that unsettled, uneasy, I got the blues feeling,  but this time I know I'll get over it.

Reading this also reminded me of all the kind people here who took me in under their care when I was beginning this journey.  My task now is to continue to pass this on to the next lost and questioning souls  who may find MedHelp.

Finally, the big point that I want to make is it reinforced to me how far I have come - and that is a positive thing.  I know so much more about MS, I have become friends and co-conspirator with all of you, I have a place where I don't have to guard my emotions or check my words.  MS may be in control of my body, but I am in control of my life and my spirit.  

If you feel up to the emotional trip, I would heartily recommend you go back into your archive of posts and read your first post here.    It is quite the therapy session.  

Lots of love to all of you,
Laura/Lulu

[Lulu54]

DV,that looks like my kind of makes no sense typo... when I read it in your post I did have to go "huh?" LOL

So did you go back and read your own early post?  

just wondering,
Lu

[doublevision1]

"We've proI'm sure"  ???

There's some good cog fog for you.

[doublevision1]

Your first thread brought me back to the early days of my diagnosis.  I can relate to the Kleenex reference.  Just like you, I was tearful in those days, as I awaited and then received my diagnosis.   One of the many reasons I initially wanted to keep my MS a secret was that I couldn't even say the words without breaking down and crying, and I didn't want people seeing me like that.  

As I reflect, I realize one of my biggest hurdles that I eventually overcame was the decision not to keep my MS a secret.  The encouragement and feedback from this group really helped me to do that.  I can talk easily about my MS now, when the time, place and context is appropriate.  Keeping a secret like that is a real burden, and I'm
glad I no longer feel I have to hold it in, yet also very glad I'm no longer a basket case every time the words come out of my mouth.

I agree with you that it is healthy to reflect back on the stages of one's illness and acknowledge how far you've come.  I also think it's great that you shared your thoughts on this, because there are many members here, both active and lurkers, who may be in limbo or newly diagnosed, who are very frightened by what lies ahead.  We've proI'm sure we've all had those periods early on, and again each time we relapse.  It is reassuring to realize that one can have MS and still do the things that are may be important to you: maintain close relationships, work, travel, exercise, have a social life (both online and otherwise), etc.  For a lot of us adjustments are necessary, but life can still be wonderful, although at the time of diagnosis it may be impossible to believe this to be true.  Hopefully those who are still at that stage will read this thread, and it will give them some hope and reassurance as they face the difficult days ahead.

[Lulu54]

I knew it could be quite the emotional trip, but it is so healthy to recognize the changes we have all experienced.  

Sunny, julie, and everyone else who has made this trip, I am so glad it was helpful to you.

be healthy, if only mentally!:-)
Lulu

[uk2]

i must do that its been 2 yrs and 3 mths since i joined and i have on a rollar coaster of a ride.

thanks for sharing lulu

sam x

[Sarahsmom46]

What a walk down memory lane that was for me too.  I joined the forum last summer (July) just one month after spending 22 days in the hospital and MS being put on my differential diagnosis list.  I went back through my early posts as well and WOW,  I mean double Wow!!  What an eye opener it was to read those old posts. They were both sad and hopeful.  I still  don't remember exactly how I even found this forum.  Maybe it was providence or lucky Googling, but whatever it was I am so happy I found this group and the ability to put my fears and concerns in a journal or in a post and actually have caring people come to my rescue with empathy and compassion AND information that helped me understand MS so much better

Thanks for sharing your experience of looking back to your old posts. This is a helpful tool for each us. Whatever may happen in our future will happen, but looking back will help us realize that we can get through it.  We did before and we will again.

Julie

[dcgallegos]

i am really new here so i don't have any old entries to read, but i do remember what it was like to start this MS journey.  i remember being called back to my ortho. surgeon's office after having my first MRI less than a week earlier.  going i knew there was a problem.  when does a doctor EVER ask you to come to their office that quickly after test.  he showed me the MRI techs notes and the only thing i saw in the mist of all those words was right there in the middle of the page "probable multiple sclerosis".

after that 5 minute talk i was on my way to a neuro in the same building with a good history of treating MS patients.  i am luckier than most that i didn't have to wait years, not even monthes with probable living over my head and was able to move to definite in a matter of weeks.  but even still that uncertainty of the future is a personal issolation that i hope no one will ever have to have.  

family and friends are great, but no one really understands like those who have this
flowing through their veins.  after one forum that offered little in the way of support i really feel that i have found a place of like souls as well as the information that we all so desperately crave.

[PastorDan]

Very interesting indeed.  Thank you for sharing.  Just last night I happened to read one of my "old" e-mails to family & friends, from late January or early February, right around the time I joined here.  Very interesting how our understanding and knowledge can mushroom in such a short time.

Question: Must one have one of those lovely little purple flowers next to one's name in order to post an active hyperlink in this forum?  I've copied and pasted a slew of addresses since coming here, but have never successfully created a link, as far as I know.  Maybe this old dog needs to learn a new trick.

[Sunnytoday]

I did just that... figured I was up to it as I am in a good mood today. I read your post and remembered it too, and then went back through my post looking for my first one.

To be honest, digging back through my 130 pages of posts left me rather meloncholy (sp?) but happy at the same time. As I was flipping through headed for that first post I saw the titles of my other posts and it brough back so many memories... and I realized just how much this forum has carried me through.

When I got back to that first post, I found that I arrived at this forum quite lonely, with MS not an option, with no neurologist or PCP, and with only a handful of the symptoms that I have today, and walking just fine.

What a ride.
Thanks Lulu for the trip down memory lane
~Sunnytoday~