Too Quiet!

[michelleric]

I am waiting and waiting for my voice to return.  (I am still on "mouth lock-down!) per ENT, and am not allowed to even try to speak for a few more days.

Been extremely hard and frustrating for my family and myself.  I walk around with a dry erase board and a cloth. I am on steroids, which only enhances my crabbiness and frustration.

I went to see Barry Manilow last night, 3rd row center to him.  It was a great evening with friends. Very enjoyable, except I couldn't speak. I always knew I was a talker, but honestly it is truly awful to have no voice. I hope and pray it will return. A man in the row behind me starting doing sign language to me. (I think he thought i was reading lips with my friends...). It was a wonderful concert, brought tears to my eyes over and over.  Really makes me miss my mom, that Manilow and his music.

They goodness for texting.  I had 2 friends come over this week, to make calls for me.  I need some more made tomorrow. Pediatrician, docs, vet, bills, etc..

The rest of the week is full of the usual, open houses for the kids at the new schools, soccer practice , all the usual activities.

I don't mean to keep harping on the voice, but it is DRIVING ME CRAZY!  At first everywhere I went with my clip board, people were laughing, men wanting to ask my hubby how can their wives "catch" this...on and on with the jokes.  I continue to see the same people, and now I see they are looking very serious now.  Good lord.

I know I am rambling, I just NEED to be heard!  Can you all hear me?!  See here I CAN talk!  ;)  Ok, feeling better now, thanks.

Michelle

[rendean]

Dear Michelle,

I am so sorry to hear of your extended loss of voice. I lose my voice often but usually it's only for a day or two. That is terribly frustrating to me and now I only have my DH to talk to.

You do indeed have a beautiful singing voice and I know you are right about being chosen as a backup singer! But, still if you take Alex's angle on things, look how close you were and what a great concert it was. And I have to agree with Alex again on still missing a parent. My Dad has been gone 8 years as of this past Saturday and it still hurts since I was "Daddy's girl".

As for the boys , when you are in the van make them play the "Silent game" along with you. Two things might be accomplished. One the van won't be noisy and two perhaps it will give them a sense of what it feels like to be unable to speak.

Sending huge hugs your way!!!!!!!!!!!

Ren

[HVAC]

I am sorry being sick and not having a voice is hard. It is funny how the human animal no matter how old misses a parent more when we are sick. I guess that was the person who comforted us the most. I still think of my Dad even though he has been dead 15 years. I thought about him during the Hurricane. How he would have been calling me. How we had a good laugh over the last thing he said as the phone line went dead was Hurricanes inland do no damage during Fran.

We take our speaking for granted. I broke my jaw in a construction accident and then had surgery on it later and lost my voice for two months with Mono.  I lost my ability to sing for two years from the Mono, I thought I would never sing again and then it was just there one day. Both times were hard and I did not have all the family stuff. Except when you live alone you can't call people. I did not have a cell phone or computer in those days. I have also lost my hearing and when I had surgery to restore that that was a magical moment. May be your family will take you a little less for granted. What works for me is when I concentrate what I can and not what I can't. I get myself so frustrated and then I realize I use too much energy thinking about what I can't do that I am working against myself. Every time some part of me does not work I start out frustrated then I realize I am making it worse.

Diane Rheim has a great book called Finding My Voice about her struggle. I am hopeful yours will resolve. She has a constant battle which is ironic for a Radio Host. I went to her reading. She was not signing personal autograph's just generic but when she saw Polly she said what is your dog's name and what is your name, So I got her personal autograph. Service Dogs can be very helpful.

Hey I have an Idea how about a "Service Parrot"  for you.

Glad you enjoyed the concert. I am so glad you were so close.

Alex

[twopack]

Hey Michelle, you got all the grannies attention with your talk of Manilow love!  (Imagine you are watching your military hubby disappear into the airport as he leaves for a tour in Korea.  As you drive away the radio starts to play Barry's 'Weekend In New England'.  It goes like this....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMnncX0xbAU .... Okay, he's been back almost 35 years now.  Why do I still cry buckets when I hear that song intro?)

Hang in there Michelle.  I can't igmaine how hard this is.  I wondered how you would handle four boys a husband and no voice.  It seems a very crewel joke.  I'm pretty sure you have suggested that more than one of those household males "get lost" fror time to time.  Hows come the voice ends up being the one to flee?  It's just not right!!

As I remember, your eyes can get a kid message across pretty well.  I figured you used those and had picked up a REALLY big stick by now.

We hear you.  What's the doc plan from here?

Mary

[michelleric]

Carol, that is a most excellent idea with white boards for all.  It actually is helping my 9 year old with his reading.  He is dyslexic and it is always a struggle to  get him to try to read.  This has made it into a bit of a game.  I am going to get more today, Thanks for that great advice.

Lu, yep, I feel the frustration for your friend. Is she doing ok?  Did she get her voice back, and did they find anything cancerous?  I sure hope not.  Yea, the steroids are to get the swelling down for mine as well.  There was so many ulcers and lesions back there, he couldn't tell what was what.  Hopefully when I go  back next week, I will have  "happier" vocal cords, instead of the "angry" ones ENT told me where there now.

Yes, Barry is indeed a sing along concert.  I just had to lip sync it!  Worked out ok, but I was only about 20 feet from him, and I know if he would have heard my beautiful voice, he would have quick picked me to be one of his back up singers.  Opportunity missed!!!  :)

Thanks for listening all....Michelle

[Lulu54]

I hear you loud and clear, Michelle.  A dear friend had a scare with her vocal cords earlier this year and had a 6 week moratorium on talking.  That white board took a beating.... She had growths on her cords that they suspected were cancer and had to reduce the swelling before they could do surgery/biopsy.  It was a horrible time for her and her family.

Barry Manilow screams for a sing-along.  I'm so sorry you couldn't at least hum along with his tunes.

hugs,
L

[grannyhotwheels]

Hi Michelle,

This is just awful... I personally love talking so I can't imagine how hard this is on you... I'll have spells where I get really horse but I've never lost it all the way, well except when as a child I did for a couple of days with laryngitis... This would just drive me crazy...

Tell your family to play along and to make you feel more comfortable everyone has to use a dry/erase board... That should be interesting... I hope you get your voice back soon...

I'll be praying,
Carol