My son of 24 years old

[silxman]

My son, Charlie, has been suffering with symptoms of what the Doctors initially thought were viral.  He had a cold about 2 months ago and then went away for a weekend and was fine. Went to work ok. Then about a couple of weeks later he was struck down with bad pains in both legs, which then travelled up to both his arms.  He felt completely shattered and eventually after fighting it for a couple of weeks, had to stop working as he couldn't raise his arms to use his screwdriver. He was then off work for 2 weeks. The pains gradually got better in his legs, but he was still experiencing pain in his arms, which moved around from one to the other. He said the pain felt deep in his arms. He is now back to work and says his arms are much better but that he is now getting pins and needles down one leg and buttock and it feels 'weired' and irritating.
Charlie loves going to the gym and lifting weights etc. He is fit and active normally, but is frightened to do any exercise because the pains may return.
I thought his arm pains were due to lifting too heavier weights but this didn't explain his leg pains.  He is being referred to a neurologist, as his GP suspects MS, which I am terrified of. Charlie doesn't know that this is being thought of as he is a worrier and I have asked his GP not to say anything. This appointment could take months for his appointment to come through. Any help from anyone would be welcome. Thanks

[supermum_ms]

Hi,

I dont actually think from what you've described that MS is the likely dx, pain that moves from one limb to the other is a bit odd for MS, i'm not sure how the GP made a connection but it's possible.  You haven't provided information on what tests he's had to rule out things like viral etc. The weight lifting and manual labor are still possible culprit, pinching a nerve, pulling his back, incorrectly lifting etc all possibles.

Please do not be offended but as a 'fellow' parent of a 24 year old (with mental health and medical issues) you must understand that your son is an adult who doesn't need you like he once did, no matter how close the relationship. It was not wise to interfere with your adult son's relationship with his doctor! If your son has 'special needs' as my child, I can understand the need for your (peripheral) involvement but if that is not the case, then your place with anything medical was (years and years ago) just sitting in the waiting room.

Please dont misinterpret the message, i am not saying you should not support your son, but what I am saying is that you over stepped. I am sure that your intent is to protect, understandable but he is a 24 year old man, an adult and your worry, would be viewed by most other adults as being highly inappropriate.

As I said in the begining, i dont think MS is the likely dx from what you've described though if Charlie was describing his own sx, maybe it would sound more like MS, that I can't say. I would think whilst your son is waiting for a neuro appointment, it wouldn't hurt to see a chiropractor or someone similar to see if thats not the problem.

Good luck......JJ  

[Sumanadevii]

I am shocked that the doctor went along with NOT telling the patient.  It seems there could be room for a lawsuit by Charlie.  I have never heard of a physician withholding information from an adult and telling their parents.

[Lulu54]

Hi and welcome,
I agree that Charlie needs to be a part of these discussions rather than keeping him in the dark.  

The description you give of his pains moving around from one side of the body to the other doesn't quite fit the profile of MS - though sometimes it presents in an atypical way.  

good luck with the follow through with the doctor - let us know if you have any other questions that we can help with.

best, Lulu

[COBOB]

I've got to agree with wiggles94.  If you hold off telling him, this could get to be very big and when he does find out, it is going to be a crushing amount of information.  He may also resent that things were withheld from him.  He is after all 24.  I know parents think they know their  children, but I'll bet he is much stronger than you think.

Bob

[wiggles94]

hi silxman,

I am So sorry to hear about what your son is going through and as a parent (not of a child with MS) I understand your feelings!  No matter how old our kids are, we always want to protect them.

It sounds like the docs are taking this seriously  by sending him to the neurologist.  You said his appointment may take months but I wonder if there is a neuro he could see sooner?

Also, can the GP order MRI of Charlie's brain and spine to get the ball rolling sooner.  

MS is a diagnosie of exclusion, so there may be a long period of testing with multiple docs before a dx can be made.

One thing I have learned through all of my testing to see if I have MS is that patience is a virture, and try to carry on as normally as possible in the midst of it all.  It's easy to become overwhelmed.

I'm not really sure how you can protect Charlie from the anxiety of what this may be.  If the docs are suspecting MS, I would want to know all I can about this disease, because I believe knowledge is power.  I also think that sometimes fear of the unknown is worse
than the reality. One thing to think about- if Charlie finds out that the doc told you possible MS and you didn't share that with him, how is he going to feel about that.  I think honesty and openness is so important in dealing with tough things like this.  But you know your son best, and if the anxiety of this would make it worse for him, then it does become a bit more problematic.  

If someone has MS or is possible MS, docs often treat with drugs that can stave off future attacks, and lessen disability.  So MS doesn't necessarily mean ending up in a wheelchair.  Each person has their own MS.  The sooner it is diagnosed and treated, the better the outcome can be.

  But just take one day at a time, and if you are there to follow Charlie's lead in all of this, you can be a great support for him.  

Encouage Charlie  to write down all  his symptoms.  Keeping a journal of what's going on would help when he sees the neuro.

Best of luck to you and Charlie!  Take one day at a time and good for you for reaching out and getting some support!