Aa
At what point do you consider leaving work?
I had probably the most uncomfortable conversation with my boss this afternoon.
My job is very hectic and stressful and for the last year I have been trying to progress and get a promotion. I am a single, self-supporting 42 year old and do not want to let MS "mess" up my career.
My boss expressed her concern that I am not as productive as I have been and that at least one of my clients finds me unprofessional. She is confident that this client is credible.
She wants me to work with her in any way she can help and wants me to try to be more focused and complete my tasks more regularly (thankfully there are no missed deadlines).
I know my energy is sorely lacking and I am tired all of the time. I am frustrated that I can't seem to focus more and get more accomplished and I have seen an OT to try to help me with enerfy saving tips, etc.
I am also horrified that I could be becoming a poor performer and don't know if I am physically able to do my job anymore. I can no longer multi-task and I have so many appointments, I can't afford a lower stress/paying job but I don't think this qualifies me as disabled.
My MS is mostly cognitive and vision issues so I am fully ambulatory.
I am getting scared that I am doing or saying things that I am not aware of.
Any advice is welcome and thank you for taking the time to read such a lengthy post.
Corrie
My job is very hectic and stressful and for the last year I have been trying to progress and get a promotion. I am a single, self-supporting 42 year old and do not want to let MS "mess" up my career.
My boss expressed her concern that I am not as productive as I have been and that at least one of my clients finds me unprofessional. She is confident that this client is credible.
She wants me to work with her in any way she can help and wants me to try to be more focused and complete my tasks more regularly (thankfully there are no missed deadlines).
I know my energy is sorely lacking and I am tired all of the time. I am frustrated that I can't seem to focus more and get more accomplished and I have seen an OT to try to help me with enerfy saving tips, etc.
I am also horrified that I could be becoming a poor performer and don't know if I am physically able to do my job anymore. I can no longer multi-task and I have so many appointments, I can't afford a lower stress/paying job but I don't think this qualifies me as disabled.
My MS is mostly cognitive and vision issues so I am fully ambulatory.
I am getting scared that I am doing or saying things that I am not aware of.
Any advice is welcome and thank you for taking the time to read such a lengthy post.
Corrie
Corriel, In my opinion, if possible, you should stay at your job as long as possible. If you stay at your job as long as possible, you will have a better chance at getting disability insurance benefits. If you leave early, there is less evidence of your disability. As a disability attorney, I am always concerned about the paper trail. Make sure you are seeing your doctor regularly. Make sure that you talk to your doctor before leaving work. If possible try to get your employer to either accommodate you or to put in writing that due to the MS they are concerned about your ability to work. If you do go on disability, a letter from your employer commenting on the accommodations they made and that although you had a good attitude to work, you simply could not meet the job demands, will help a lot.
Allan from www.disabilitylaw.ca
Allan from www.disabilitylaw.ca
Corrie,
You just had a substantial flare up yourself while on vacation... Do you think maybe it was longer than you thought?
Perhaps it is still ongoing?
Just a thought... Maybe to ask on Monday too!
You just had a substantial flare up yourself while on vacation... Do you think maybe it was longer than you thought?
Perhaps it is still ongoing?
Just a thought... Maybe to ask on Monday too!
I'm so sorry Corrie :( I'm concerned about you and Cann. I wish there was something I could do or say to make it better for both of you. Since there is not, I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts and send good juju up North :)
XOXO
XOXO
Thanks! I do have a lot of sick days accumulated so I have enough to get me to disability (the long term one at work anyway). It just doesn't seem possible that I would need to consider this only 5 months after diagnosis and only a year of major symptoms.
I knew it was very likely in my future but thought it would be years or seceral major relapses away. Ugh, I do not like being unprepared.
I knew it was very likely in my future but thought it would be years or seceral major relapses away. Ugh, I do not like being unprepared.
Do you have STD as well as LTD? Maybe this is a temporary flareup, and after a few months you'll be a little more able to cope.
I'm in an odd place. I can't really get myself to work safely. Some days I trust myself to drive, some day I don't. But I can still function at work. My main prob now is physical disability, rather than mental. I spent three years recovering from cog fog, and working was very difficult. If I had the same level now, I don't think I could continue to work.
Since I'm the one with the straight job, I can't really go on disability. You have to be out of work for a year to qualify. The good news is that with Obamacare, my hubby would have insurance, and so would I.
I'm in an odd place. I can't really get myself to work safely. Some days I trust myself to drive, some day I don't. But I can still function at work. My main prob now is physical disability, rather than mental. I spent three years recovering from cog fog, and working was very difficult. If I had the same level now, I don't think I could continue to work.
Since I'm the one with the straight job, I can't really go on disability. You have to be out of work for a year to qualify. The good news is that with Obamacare, my hubby would have insurance, and so would I.
Thank you for sharing DV, I am hoping that I can figure something out, we are only 2 Advisors in my group so I am hoping I can find a way to do this without overburdening my colleague.
I know my pride factors substantially into this equationand it is way past time to deal with this aspect of my new MS life.
I know my pride factors substantially into this equationand it is way past time to deal with this aspect of my new MS life.
It is so frightening to think you are doing well only to have something like that hit you. I can absolutely relate to the blow to the self-confidence, it makes me want to run away and hide but since I would still have to go back, it would be worse in the long run.
I hope your latest bout with numbness resolves itself soon,
Corrie
I hope your latest bout with numbness resolves itself soon,
Corrie
Thanks so much everyone. I have an OT session and a counselling session Monday so this weekend I am preparing lists to ask each professional about.
I still don't know the extent of my cognitive issues other than being easily distracted, forgetting my to-do list items and an unbelievably difficult time finishing something I have started without a lot of effort.
I do have good insurance and LTD at work but I am hoping that it is too early for that. Once I can figure out how my employer can best accommodate me that should be enough until I have the cognitive testing done.
Again, thank you so much, I was so discouraged yesterday and your support and advice were soothing and helped me see things in a more positive light.
Since it seems to be only 1 client upset with me and there are no missed deadlines, I have been lucky. I do need to focus less on second guessing myself and learn what my new work "normal" should look like.
I still don't know the extent of my cognitive issues other than being easily distracted, forgetting my to-do list items and an unbelievably difficult time finishing something I have started without a lot of effort.
I do have good insurance and LTD at work but I am hoping that it is too early for that. Once I can figure out how my employer can best accommodate me that should be enough until I have the cognitive testing done.
Again, thank you so much, I was so discouraged yesterday and your support and advice were soothing and helped me see things in a more positive light.
Since it seems to be only 1 client upset with me and there are no missed deadlines, I have been lucky. I do need to focus less on second guessing myself and learn what my new work "normal" should look like.
Corrie,
Your comments about cognitive function reminded me of something else. I think most people do under estimate their own cognitive function. I know I have in the past.
After I went on disability twice I tried to return to work. The first time was just a few years after I developed MS. I tried to do independent consultation in my computer field. I ended up taking a short term contract that was to last 6 weeks designing and programming a card for a business. By the time I finished that contract I was just as bad off with fatigue and cognitive functions as I had been before the disability. So even though the company wanted to hire me for another contract I had to turn it down. I knew at that point I could never have lasted another 6 weeks as I was lucky I had made it through the last contract. I think it took me a good 2 years before I managed to recover from the job.
I again thought I was doing much better in 2003 and decided maybe I could handle some other type of job. So I contacted the State of Florida's rehab program to see if I could get some training for some other type of work. The program starts off with 3 days of testing so they can determine what kind of work they might be able to train you for. Well after only 1.5 days the head in the testing department told me that I was too bad off to train me to do anything. And here I thought I was doing pretty good at the time. That was a major blow to my ego to say the least.
Dennis
Your comments about cognitive function reminded me of something else. I think most people do under estimate their own cognitive function. I know I have in the past.
After I went on disability twice I tried to return to work. The first time was just a few years after I developed MS. I tried to do independent consultation in my computer field. I ended up taking a short term contract that was to last 6 weeks designing and programming a card for a business. By the time I finished that contract I was just as bad off with fatigue and cognitive functions as I had been before the disability. So even though the company wanted to hire me for another contract I had to turn it down. I knew at that point I could never have lasted another 6 weeks as I was lucky I had made it through the last contract. I think it took me a good 2 years before I managed to recover from the job.
I again thought I was doing much better in 2003 and decided maybe I could handle some other type of job. So I contacted the State of Florida's rehab program to see if I could get some training for some other type of work. The program starts off with 3 days of testing so they can determine what kind of work they might be able to train you for. Well after only 1.5 days the head in the testing department told me that I was too bad off to train me to do anything. And here I thought I was doing pretty good at the time. That was a major blow to my ego to say the least.
Dennis
Hey, fellow HR professional :)
I haven't worked since 2011. I'm still very reluctant to say that I've stopped working altogether ..... I'm only 45 and I feel too young to be done. That said, there are no plans for me to return anytime soon.
When I was first dx'ed I was off for a year due to vision impairment, fatigue and chronic pain. I actually started the process of returning six months in, then was hit with another attack. Eventually, I returned part-time at first, gradually working up to my full-time schedule. It was going well, in large part thanks to the accommodations afforded me - flex hours, working from home, longer term assignments that weren't as time sensitive, etc.
In June 2011 I was hit with another attack. My baseline level of fatigue and neuropathic pain went up substantially and never remitted. Some trouble I'd started having with concentration, memory and word finding increased. I kept waiting to feel better and it didn't happen. I've been unable to return to work as I've not felt well enough on a consistent enough basis to hold down any semblance of a regular schedule. My sleep continues to be affected by pain, and it's a struggle. I've tried many different meds and nothing makes a substantial difference including the meds I'm currently on (gabapentin and nortriptyline). My concentration is so poor it's been ages since I've been able to read a book from cover to cover. To add insult to injury I'm currently recovering from another attack, this time involving my right side, and I am concerned about possible lasting effects given I'm right handed. And I really don't need more of the relentless skin pain spreading permanently to other parts of my body.
Anyway, that's the gist of why I'm not working now. The financial impact is dramatic - making 2/3 of my pre-disability income, not indexed to CofL so if i don't return to work, fixed till age 65, and a big kiss goodbye to performance bonuses and retention incentives. However, I don't take for granted that I'm lucky to be in a two income household (spouse works for same employer) and that that has made the decision not to attempt (yet) a second return to work much more palatable. And my employer waives all premiums on benefits for employees on LTD, so my supplemental medical, dental, AD&D etc is free. That offsets some of the financial loss.
If you're considering going in disability, is not an easy decision. I think you are in your early 40s? And I'm sure never imagined leaving the workforce early. If you're like me, you love your work and find it challenging, in a good way. It sounds like you too work for a good company and have a good boss. It's especially difficult to leave under these kind of circumstances. I really understand your feeling horrified at the possibility of becoming and/or being viewed as a poor performer. That was my biggest concern, as I just didn't have the capacity to keep up with the standard I'd set for myself, and others came to expect, when I was younger and healthier and had boundless energy.
I agree with the others to have a candid discussion with your boss since you do require some accommodation. They could look at re-allocating the work on the team, allow you to work partially from home if the position is conducive to that, allow you to work flex hours to start later or leave earlier depending on when your energy waxes and wanes, etc. It's safe to assume you're intimately familiar with your provincial human rights statute and that you understand your rights and obligations under the law so no need to get into that.
As far as going off ill, know that LTD need not be a permanent decision should you be forced by your health to go off at some point, then recover to the point of being able to resume your position. Also, I really caution against going part-time on an ongoing basis, as this of course reduces your wages, and should you subsequently go on LTD, you'll only receive 2/3 (I assume) of your part-time pre-disability income.
Good luck with this tough situation, and keep us posted. As you can see, many of us here truly understand what you're going through.
I haven't worked since 2011. I'm still very reluctant to say that I've stopped working altogether ..... I'm only 45 and I feel too young to be done. That said, there are no plans for me to return anytime soon.
When I was first dx'ed I was off for a year due to vision impairment, fatigue and chronic pain. I actually started the process of returning six months in, then was hit with another attack. Eventually, I returned part-time at first, gradually working up to my full-time schedule. It was going well, in large part thanks to the accommodations afforded me - flex hours, working from home, longer term assignments that weren't as time sensitive, etc.
In June 2011 I was hit with another attack. My baseline level of fatigue and neuropathic pain went up substantially and never remitted. Some trouble I'd started having with concentration, memory and word finding increased. I kept waiting to feel better and it didn't happen. I've been unable to return to work as I've not felt well enough on a consistent enough basis to hold down any semblance of a regular schedule. My sleep continues to be affected by pain, and it's a struggle. I've tried many different meds and nothing makes a substantial difference including the meds I'm currently on (gabapentin and nortriptyline). My concentration is so poor it's been ages since I've been able to read a book from cover to cover. To add insult to injury I'm currently recovering from another attack, this time involving my right side, and I am concerned about possible lasting effects given I'm right handed. And I really don't need more of the relentless skin pain spreading permanently to other parts of my body.
Anyway, that's the gist of why I'm not working now. The financial impact is dramatic - making 2/3 of my pre-disability income, not indexed to CofL so if i don't return to work, fixed till age 65, and a big kiss goodbye to performance bonuses and retention incentives. However, I don't take for granted that I'm lucky to be in a two income household (spouse works for same employer) and that that has made the decision not to attempt (yet) a second return to work much more palatable. And my employer waives all premiums on benefits for employees on LTD, so my supplemental medical, dental, AD&D etc is free. That offsets some of the financial loss.
If you're considering going in disability, is not an easy decision. I think you are in your early 40s? And I'm sure never imagined leaving the workforce early. If you're like me, you love your work and find it challenging, in a good way. It sounds like you too work for a good company and have a good boss. It's especially difficult to leave under these kind of circumstances. I really understand your feeling horrified at the possibility of becoming and/or being viewed as a poor performer. That was my biggest concern, as I just didn't have the capacity to keep up with the standard I'd set for myself, and others came to expect, when I was younger and healthier and had boundless energy.
I agree with the others to have a candid discussion with your boss since you do require some accommodation. They could look at re-allocating the work on the team, allow you to work partially from home if the position is conducive to that, allow you to work flex hours to start later or leave earlier depending on when your energy waxes and wanes, etc. It's safe to assume you're intimately familiar with your provincial human rights statute and that you understand your rights and obligations under the law so no need to get into that.
As far as going off ill, know that LTD need not be a permanent decision should you be forced by your health to go off at some point, then recover to the point of being able to resume your position. Also, I really caution against going part-time on an ongoing basis, as this of course reduces your wages, and should you subsequently go on LTD, you'll only receive 2/3 (I assume) of your part-time pre-disability income.
Good luck with this tough situation, and keep us posted. As you can see, many of us here truly understand what you're going through.
Thank you for sharing Dennis, it seems that I have some major decisions still to come.
I know that my cognitive issues are not always evident to me but to others. I thought they had mostly gone away and would only be back if I had another major attack but now it appears that they haven't.
I know that my cognitive issues are not always evident to me but to others. I thought they had mostly gone away and would only be back if I had another major attack but now it appears that they haven't.
Thank you so much. I am ucky to have found you and others in this group. The support is unbelievably strong.
Corrie,
I was in your boat 25 years ago. At the time I was the manager of the hardware design department at a major electronics company. Of course at that time I didn't know it was MS, just that the fatigue and cognitive problems were effecting my work. This was work that I was very good at and more importantly loved doing. There was always something special about designing a computer that was faster and better than anything else around. I took a lot of pride in being able to push the technology to its limits and beyond.
In my attempt to keep working I tried switching my job to that of a software design engineer, with the blessing of my boss, to reduce the stress and long hours. But even that didn't help. The fatigue and cognitive problems continued to get worse over then next 6 months.
It was when I had to pull over on my way home after only 3 hours at work because of the fatigue that I knew I could not continue to work.
When I was tested for my disability for SSDI the doctor that examined me stated he felt I had lost at least 70 points in IQ. That would put me at the IQ of a 10 year old.
To this day I wonder if I had gone on disability sooner if my problems would not be as bad as they are now since I'm sure there was more damage being done each day that I continued to work.
And yes even after all of these years I still miss working and even more importantly with computers.
Dennis
I was in your boat 25 years ago. At the time I was the manager of the hardware design department at a major electronics company. Of course at that time I didn't know it was MS, just that the fatigue and cognitive problems were effecting my work. This was work that I was very good at and more importantly loved doing. There was always something special about designing a computer that was faster and better than anything else around. I took a lot of pride in being able to push the technology to its limits and beyond.
In my attempt to keep working I tried switching my job to that of a software design engineer, with the blessing of my boss, to reduce the stress and long hours. But even that didn't help. The fatigue and cognitive problems continued to get worse over then next 6 months.
It was when I had to pull over on my way home after only 3 hours at work because of the fatigue that I knew I could not continue to work.
When I was tested for my disability for SSDI the doctor that examined me stated he felt I had lost at least 70 points in IQ. That would put me at the IQ of a 10 year old.
To this day I wonder if I had gone on disability sooner if my problems would not be as bad as they are now since I'm sure there was more damage being done each day that I continued to work.
And yes even after all of these years I still miss working and even more importantly with computers.
Dennis
Thinking of you Corrie! I do not have anything of value to add but am thanking you for starting this thread. You have recvd invaluable advice that most of us are going to face or are currently facing.
Keeping you in my thoughts dear friend!
XOXO
Lizzie
Keeping you in my thoughts dear friend!
XOXO
Lizzie
Thank you all so much. To say the coversation was devastating isn't much of a stretch.
I did disclose my MS to my boss and the irony of ironies is that I work in HR.
I have been fortunate that they have been very supportive thus far but due to the mostly invisible nature of MS as some of you mentioned, I am not sure they understand why it isn't easy to just focus more or try harder.
I was only dx in April so I am still struggling with figuring out my limitations so I cannot expect my employer to understand what I don't.
I am on a waiting list for cognitive testing and I hope to have it before Xmas.
I will also be meeting with my boss again on Monday to follow up, ask questions, tell her what she can do to help, etc.
Thank you again, especially for sharing your personal experiences and your wisdom.
I did disclose my MS to my boss and the irony of ironies is that I work in HR.
I have been fortunate that they have been very supportive thus far but due to the mostly invisible nature of MS as some of you mentioned, I am not sure they understand why it isn't easy to just focus more or try harder.
I was only dx in April so I am still struggling with figuring out my limitations so I cannot expect my employer to understand what I don't.
I am on a waiting list for cognitive testing and I hope to have it before Xmas.
I will also be meeting with my boss again on Monday to follow up, ask questions, tell her what she can do to help, etc.
Thank you again, especially for sharing your personal experiences and your wisdom.
Oh Corrie .. I feel awful you had this happen to you! Chalk this up to "worst day ever" - Napoleon dynamite
You have some great advice up there from everyone.
Just to add to:
Amantadine is usually prescribed here first bc if it fails our drug plan will give the pass in the other one Quix mentioned easier!! You know our paper work nightmare to have coverage on some rx!!
Amantadine needed no extra paper work for me. :)
You have a great employer! (Large picture not the boss) You have so many options!!! An coverage!!!
You also have coverage though unemployment insurance for 15 weeks( this would be used after your short term coverage through work ( i think bc this was how it worked for my dad - same company) and then going to long term they require you to use the EI then top up to normal long term $$.
You also have coverage through CPP. You pay Into it !!! We all do!! :)
You also only have to tell HR about MS. (Canada) You do not have to tell any one else. HR can inform your boss there is a medical condition. They should not disclose.
I don't know how any of this works but wondering if u could go through HR on this too? Maybe your boss is not the best to have this discussion with first.
I have no advice there though.
I am having one of those days too where I feel "sick" not broken and feel inadequate at work due to leaving for 2 appts today and tomorrow aand monday..... not making friends with my coworkers today :(
This is rough!!! I hope all goes well and settles.
You have some great advice up there from everyone.
Just to add to:
Amantadine is usually prescribed here first bc if it fails our drug plan will give the pass in the other one Quix mentioned easier!! You know our paper work nightmare to have coverage on some rx!!
Amantadine needed no extra paper work for me. :)
You have a great employer! (Large picture not the boss) You have so many options!!! An coverage!!!
You also have coverage though unemployment insurance for 15 weeks( this would be used after your short term coverage through work ( i think bc this was how it worked for my dad - same company) and then going to long term they require you to use the EI then top up to normal long term $$.
You also have coverage through CPP. You pay Into it !!! We all do!! :)
You also only have to tell HR about MS. (Canada) You do not have to tell any one else. HR can inform your boss there is a medical condition. They should not disclose.
I don't know how any of this works but wondering if u could go through HR on this too? Maybe your boss is not the best to have this discussion with first.
I have no advice there though.
I am having one of those days too where I feel "sick" not broken and feel inadequate at work due to leaving for 2 appts today and tomorrow aand monday..... not making friends with my coworkers today :(
This is rough!!! I hope all goes well and settles.
ADD - again!
Your neurologist would be the one to request neuropsychological testing - not the employer.
Sheesh!
Q
Your neurologist would be the one to request neuropsychological testing - not the employer.
Sheesh!
Q
Did you ever get a full neuropsych exam or just a quick meeting with one at that clinic?
If they know where the problems are they may be able to help you deal with them. It may also help you if you need to go on disability since these are your biggest problems.
That is my only suggestion as I struggle with the same issue except that my direct supervisor is in a different city and isn't able to see the difficulties that I can have. I have definitely learned that I have to keep track of everything I need to do either on a wall calendar or computer with reminders since I can no longer rely on my brain to remind me. And then there's the fatigue that can be a real big problem.
At least your boss is willing to work with you though.
Laura
If they know where the problems are they may be able to help you deal with them. It may also help you if you need to go on disability since these are your biggest problems.
That is my only suggestion as I struggle with the same issue except that my direct supervisor is in a different city and isn't able to see the difficulties that I can have. I have definitely learned that I have to keep track of everything I need to do either on a wall calendar or computer with reminders since I can no longer rely on my brain to remind me. And then there's the fatigue that can be a real big problem.
At least your boss is willing to work with you though.
Laura
Additional thought. There are various meds that can help enormously with fatigue and sometimes with cognitive functions if they suffer due to fatigue.
I found that Provigil (Modafil) was wonderful when I had to keep a grip during the day. It is available in generic in Canada. Some docs use amantadine, also with varying degrees of success.
Q
I found that Provigil (Modafil) was wonderful when I had to keep a grip during the day. It is available in generic in Canada. Some docs use amantadine, also with varying degrees of success.
Q
Hey Corrie,
Wow, deep breathing time for you. Oh, the stress levels must be going through the roof!
This invisible disease suddenly pops up in the most unexpected places but when it starts to affect your job performance and potentially impact on your sole income then its time to work out your options and what a great place you've come for options.
I've only just gone through this over the last few months at my work and the situation made me so red hot angry I wanted to punch someone - well my bully boy boss actually. My new boss came to me one morning and asked if I had thought about reducing my hours? Huh? Then he started on about needing to get an assessment from the neuro about what I could and couldn't do.
The fact that you have previously taken great pride in your work performance and been a high achiever, the conversation with your boss must have been quite a shock. On the outside no one can tell we have MS right, but on the inside it's a different story.But before you let your imagination go to the darkest places stop and try to understand what your boss's motivation is for having the chat.
Did you miss a deadline? Did a client make a complaint? Is 5% of the criticism true? Perfectionism is a huge burden to carry in addition to having MS.
So, if any of it is true then I guess your boss wouldn't be doing their job if they didn't mention it. But that doesn't mean that they are trying to get rid of you! Is your boss actually trying to help and support you?
Looking back on my situation, I totally over-reacted and started imagining the worst case scenario. My boss is only very young and the way in which he expresses himself leaves alot to be desired in my opinion. But then I had an ephipany.
I was in the best work environment for me to cope with MS and I started to feel gratitude for the way the organisation was trying to do its best to look after me. I realised that I was trying to bite the hand that was feeding me. My organisation is imperfect in the way in which they are trying to care for me but then I'm a bit imperfect myself.
So I caved in, I went through the process and now they let me work from home a couple of days a week. Do I think I need special treatment? NO. Are my work colleagues jealous of the special attention? YES. Did my boss take 'duty of care' to a ridiculous level? YES. But hey unless I went through the process I would never have found a fast growing brain tumour so I feel truly blessed for the experience.
So my advice is don't automatically see this as the end of your good employment or imagine all sort of sinister things. Keep an open mind. Yes, you get tired. Yes, it is harder to work to the same level as before MS. Maybe the promotion you were so focussed on is not the best choice for your health? Only you know what your limits are but your boss is giving you a reality check about your capability. This is a huge change of heart but try to thank you boss for trying to help and make suggestions as to what you need to support you - more time on completing tasks, rest periods, reduced workload.
I think under the toughest exteriors most people are compassionate especially when you have a recognised disease.
Blessings
Alex
Wow, deep breathing time for you. Oh, the stress levels must be going through the roof!
This invisible disease suddenly pops up in the most unexpected places but when it starts to affect your job performance and potentially impact on your sole income then its time to work out your options and what a great place you've come for options.
I've only just gone through this over the last few months at my work and the situation made me so red hot angry I wanted to punch someone - well my bully boy boss actually. My new boss came to me one morning and asked if I had thought about reducing my hours? Huh? Then he started on about needing to get an assessment from the neuro about what I could and couldn't do.
The fact that you have previously taken great pride in your work performance and been a high achiever, the conversation with your boss must have been quite a shock. On the outside no one can tell we have MS right, but on the inside it's a different story.But before you let your imagination go to the darkest places stop and try to understand what your boss's motivation is for having the chat.
Did you miss a deadline? Did a client make a complaint? Is 5% of the criticism true? Perfectionism is a huge burden to carry in addition to having MS.
So, if any of it is true then I guess your boss wouldn't be doing their job if they didn't mention it. But that doesn't mean that they are trying to get rid of you! Is your boss actually trying to help and support you?
Looking back on my situation, I totally over-reacted and started imagining the worst case scenario. My boss is only very young and the way in which he expresses himself leaves alot to be desired in my opinion. But then I had an ephipany.
I was in the best work environment for me to cope with MS and I started to feel gratitude for the way the organisation was trying to do its best to look after me. I realised that I was trying to bite the hand that was feeding me. My organisation is imperfect in the way in which they are trying to care for me but then I'm a bit imperfect myself.
So I caved in, I went through the process and now they let me work from home a couple of days a week. Do I think I need special treatment? NO. Are my work colleagues jealous of the special attention? YES. Did my boss take 'duty of care' to a ridiculous level? YES. But hey unless I went through the process I would never have found a fast growing brain tumour so I feel truly blessed for the experience.
So my advice is don't automatically see this as the end of your good employment or imagine all sort of sinister things. Keep an open mind. Yes, you get tired. Yes, it is harder to work to the same level as before MS. Maybe the promotion you were so focussed on is not the best choice for your health? Only you know what your limits are but your boss is giving you a reality check about your capability. This is a huge change of heart but try to thank you boss for trying to help and make suggestions as to what you need to support you - more time on completing tasks, rest periods, reduced workload.
I think under the toughest exteriors most people are compassionate especially when you have a recognised disease.
Blessings
Alex
Oh, Honey, I grieve for what you are going through. This is a very tough topic. The truth is is that the most common reason for leaving the workforce is fatigue and the second is cognitive dysfunction.
Does your boss know that you have MS? Many people keep this from their employers under the (probably correct) belief that this will lead the boss to see them and judge them differently, ultimately leading to their being let go.
You are in Canada and I do not know the protections that are afforded those with disabilities there. So I will speak as though we are talking about the US. I believe that one of the reasons to be candid with you employer is when your work product begins to suffer. this is going to place one under increased scrutiny.
If the employer doesn't know what the problems have arisen they may well assume it is drugs or alcohol.
In the US employers are required to make reasonable allowances for a person with disabilities. These may include more flexible hours, time for a rest or nap during the work day, moving to a different position which might be easier or other things that can help with fatigue.
Also, here there are protections against being dismissed. But, the employer has to know of the disability before the protections kick in. It might be wise for you to be proactive and have this discussion with your boss or with Human Resources to explore what could be done to ease the problems. All problems like this that have become visible need to be addressed head on. There may be solutions that you haven't considered.
If your work is suffering because of visual, fatigue, and cognitive issues you are definitely have a disability which needs addressing. Being disabled has various meanings depending on whether you are asking for workplace accommodations or applying for disability income.
On the other hand if cognitive issues are at the fore in all of this you might request neuropsychological testing. This is a battery of testing that can quantify the extent of cognitive functioning. If cognitive issues are pretty constant and not just dependent on the level of fatigue, then continuing to work can lead to mistakes of varying severity.
I left medical practice after a particularly horrifying lapse in my ability to evaluate an emergency situation. Luckily others were there and no damage was done except to my confidence that I could continue to practice medicine.
I hope others will jump in here with their thoughts. I know many have had the same crisis arise in their own lives
Keep us posted. My thoughts are with you.
Quix
Does your boss know that you have MS? Many people keep this from their employers under the (probably correct) belief that this will lead the boss to see them and judge them differently, ultimately leading to their being let go.
You are in Canada and I do not know the protections that are afforded those with disabilities there. So I will speak as though we are talking about the US. I believe that one of the reasons to be candid with you employer is when your work product begins to suffer. this is going to place one under increased scrutiny.
If the employer doesn't know what the problems have arisen they may well assume it is drugs or alcohol.
In the US employers are required to make reasonable allowances for a person with disabilities. These may include more flexible hours, time for a rest or nap during the work day, moving to a different position which might be easier or other things that can help with fatigue.
Also, here there are protections against being dismissed. But, the employer has to know of the disability before the protections kick in. It might be wise for you to be proactive and have this discussion with your boss or with Human Resources to explore what could be done to ease the problems. All problems like this that have become visible need to be addressed head on. There may be solutions that you haven't considered.
If your work is suffering because of visual, fatigue, and cognitive issues you are definitely have a disability which needs addressing. Being disabled has various meanings depending on whether you are asking for workplace accommodations or applying for disability income.
On the other hand if cognitive issues are at the fore in all of this you might request neuropsychological testing. This is a battery of testing that can quantify the extent of cognitive functioning. If cognitive issues are pretty constant and not just dependent on the level of fatigue, then continuing to work can lead to mistakes of varying severity.
I left medical practice after a particularly horrifying lapse in my ability to evaluate an emergency situation. Luckily others were there and no damage was done except to my confidence that I could continue to practice medicine.
I hope others will jump in here with their thoughts. I know many have had the same crisis arise in their own lives
Keep us posted. My thoughts are with you.
Quix
Corrie,
Job security these days is so hard to come by, but especially living with a chronic disease. I tip my hat, if I wore one, to your boss for having this conversation with you rather than behind your back. That says to me your presence is still valued since she has offered to work with you.
Would you be able to discuss strategies with her that will allow you to complete your tasks and help to make sure they are done correctly? I'm also wondering if you perhaps have had your confidence shaken and are now unconciously undervaluing your own worth in the job.
That could lead to more stress, more errors and more doubts.
As for the client who has raised these concerns - could that account be move to someone else so you aren't feeling under the microscope with this one?
Since you are the single wage earner in your home, disabilty is just not a good option unless you absolutely have to go that route. Since I don't know the type of work you do, it is hard to strategize specific tactics to help.
I do know the more pressure we put on ourselves to perform mentally, the worse we can become. Please try to relax, focus on the task at hand, and ask in the workplace for assistance and tips to improve.
good luck,
Laura
Job security these days is so hard to come by, but especially living with a chronic disease. I tip my hat, if I wore one, to your boss for having this conversation with you rather than behind your back. That says to me your presence is still valued since she has offered to work with you.
Would you be able to discuss strategies with her that will allow you to complete your tasks and help to make sure they are done correctly? I'm also wondering if you perhaps have had your confidence shaken and are now unconciously undervaluing your own worth in the job.
That could lead to more stress, more errors and more doubts.
As for the client who has raised these concerns - could that account be move to someone else so you aren't feeling under the microscope with this one?
Since you are the single wage earner in your home, disabilty is just not a good option unless you absolutely have to go that route. Since I don't know the type of work you do, it is hard to strategize specific tactics to help.
I do know the more pressure we put on ourselves to perform mentally, the worse we can become. Please try to relax, focus on the task at hand, and ask in the workplace for assistance and tips to improve.
good luck,
Laura
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